Guys: how old a woman is too old ?

I’m especially interested in getting the male point of view, but I’d welcome the female opinions, too. How much does a woman’s age factor into whether men find her attractive? Probably few hetero males don’t appreciate an eyeful of a good-looking 20-year-old woman, but at what approximate age, if any, do women stop being secret-ogle worthy?

If it matters, here’s my situation: I’m 54 and divorced 2 years after 32 years of marriage to a man with major mental health issues. I stay active–working out, hiking, etc.–and am in good shape with a good BMI. I don’t know if I’m attractive or not, but I’m not ugly. I take care of my appearance. That should do it, I think.

Are men in general actually attracted to women my age? I ask because the few single men my age I’ve met/dated have really been looking for women who are substantially younger (say, ten years or more). I get how young = attractive. It just seems like women my age are pretty much ignored by most men unless they’re married to them (and sometimes even then). I know there’s a lot that goes into the mix–personality, zest for living, confidence, etc., and maybe I’m warped by my few experiences. But given a choice and all else being equal, wouldn’t most men over, say, 40, prefer dating women who are substantially younger?

Just trying to put things in perspective.


I’m attracted to women with five years of my age plus or minus, but if for some reason, a woman came along and I got along with, no age would be a deal breaker. OK maybe if she was like 85.

The Harold and Maude thing doesn’t float your boat then?

Just one man’s opinion here. I am 58, and although young women can be decorative, I rarely find women younger than 45 or so attractive.

I’ve dated women 10 years younger (when I was 35) and 10 years older (when I was 40). Looks matter for only about the first 2 minutes. Personality, positivism, humor, attitude, and enthusiasm matter much more after that first 2 minutes.

Suggestion: take ballroom dancing classes. It’s a nice place to meet people and get past that first 2 minutes. It’s also a way to “meet men” without being in a place to “meet men” (like a bar).


I am at the age where, for health reasons, I don’t need a woman unless she is a nurse but when I was 40ish I lived several years with a woman who was 60ish and found nothing about her unattractive that was age related.

I’m in my early 30s, and I’ve seen women in their 60s who I wouldn’t mind a roll in the hay with (if I weren’t married). Of course starting a relationship is different than that - obviously you aren’t starting a second family with a woman in her 50s, and there are guys that are after that…

I’m 54, and here’s my take:
If you aren’t ugly, then the only thing left is, how do/will you look naked. The only thing I can think of negative in a non-ugly woman past the age of 40 is the word ‘sag.’ If you aren’t ugly, and the thingies don’t sag, then, you are pretty high up the ol’ number scale. :wink:
I imagine that most people, women as well as men, wouldn’t mind dating somebody substantially younger, but, if all other things fall into place, (the not ugly, and thingies not sagging bit) I think there’s quite a bit of latitude.
Best wishes,

I’m a guy - when I was 31 I started to date a woman 15 years older than me (46 for those of you slow at math). We dated until she turned 50 and freaked out because she turned 50 and broke up with me. That was 5 years ago and I still think she’s attractive. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and I’m more interested in personality than age.

I can’t speak for the men, but I find men close to my own age (44) to be perfectly attractive. Young guys look (and seem) unfinished to me.

My first instinct is that guys your own age who only want hot young things aren’t the guys you want to be dating anyway.

harry, gravity is a harsh mistress. Guys like big boobs, but they don’t want sag? Too bad - physics don’t allow exceptions for male preference. :slight_smile:

[quote=“Cat_Whisperer, post:10, topic:592385”]

I can’t speak for the men, but I find men close to my own age (44) to be perfectly attractive. Young guys look (and seem) unfinished to me.

Hi Cat Whisperer!
Damn - Calgary - never mind! :smiley:

I signed up for ballroom dancing classes last year. The class was canceled, as there weren’t enough students to make it worth the instructor’s time to drive in from 100 miles away. (I live in a very remote town.) At the introductory, won’t-you-sign-up class, every single male who attended was with his wife/girlfriend, and there were several of us unattached women. A friend in MA says women outnumber men at her ballroom dance class, too.

I don’t know where men my age are…probably home window shopping on OLD. :slight_smile:

I’m 50mumblemumble
I have noticed that as I get older, I admire mature women more.
18 year olds? Yeah a taught body, but seriously have you ever thought what kind of wine goes with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? :wink:
There is also the fact that I hold no illusions, I’m not filthy rich, and I don’t have the looks of George Clooney.
Bottom line? Give me a woman, not a girl.
18? I don’t think so
20s Yeah right
30s Maybe the high 30s
40s, now we are talking
50s+ Yeah baby.

As long as you’re only speaking about physical attraction, there’s a lot of room. Current Hillary Clinton? Blech. Audrey Hepburn in her later years? Oh, yeah!

That’s a specific case from a specific person (in this case, me). I’m sure there are others my age that wouldn’t admire an older woman’s looks, no matter how gorgeous she was.

I like women from my generation. The sexual revolution was at it’s peak when they entered it as eager kids, but they still had the previous hang-ups instilled in them as children to make overcoming them interesting.

What *Rick *said 3 posts ago. Although there are some barely-30 MILFs around here I’d like too.

OKCupid has a blog about the statistical trends they’ve worked out from data from the site. The blog is excellent, but you will not like this post very much:

To summarize, men say they’ll take women a few years older, but they’re lying.

All other considerations aside, the best way for a woman to make a man overlook her age is to exhibit a higher than normal degree of sexual libido and sexual confidence.

I know I’m in a very small minority, but Hillary looks better and better every year. I find her very sexy, but then I am attracted to powerful confident women. When I see older photos and clips of her during the eary Clinton presidency, then I don’t find her attractive at all. I’m 60 by the way.

I support this post. But I’d go further to say lots of older women are hawt!