older women,younger men

I have always liked younger men.When I was 21 ,I actually like a guy who was 15.No,I never touched him.Now, someone in their 20’s seems nice.(I am 40).Is this universally unusual?I know MaryKay is an exception.That is just too weird! :frowning: Any guys on here,how would you feel if an older woman like you?I’ve always been curious. Also,there is a trend(in Hollywood?) for the much older male,younger female.Witness Tony Randall!I know Desmond Morris says this is much more common,as men want women who can procreate! :slight_smile: Anyone?

To me, an attractive woman is attractive, no matter what her age.

But then I tend to be attracted to women who are their own persons, and who don’t need to hide themselves behind trendy superficial fashion facades.

I have met women I found attractive, one of whom was fifteen years older than me (and fantastic!), and another of whom was fifteen years younger than me (and also fantastic). Unfortunately, there was no oppurtunity to follow these relationships…

I found that the major problem with a relationship containing greatly differing ages (greater than ten years) is the reactions of others.

In general, though, I have no problem with the idea of a relationship with a woman older than me. I suspect emotional maturity, friendliness, competence, and general compatibility are more important to me than the number of kilometres on our clocks… :slight_smile:

(Thinking back to high school, when an age difference of one year was an insurmountable barrier…)

You are 40? Wow! You certainly don’t look 40. I’m 40, I should know.

Back to the OP, let me tell you, a lot of young guys are attracted to older women, especially if they grew up around older people. Young girls are a little too insipid sometimes for some men. But on the long run… I’m not so sure.

I was married to a woman three and a half years older than me, and it didn’t work.

Regarding women being attracted towards younger guys, well, I dunno… I’ve met a few, and it has never worked.

Good luck anyway, I guess my chances with you are now lost forever… :frowning:


I have been in two serious relationships; in both cases the woman was older.

My ex (who turned out to be Evil Incarnate) was 9 years older than me. The age difference itself didn’t matter to me. She was my first, and thus I think my naivete caused me to have blinders as to her true vile nature.

My current honey, actually my fiancee, is almost 6 years older than me, but again, no matter. I don’t have a “thing” for older women, it just turned out that way by chance.

      • I think the saddest thing about older men and younger women is that (statistically speaking) the situation will often lead to lonely widows for the last part of life. Granted, there’s lots of other stuff that can happen to either along the way, but, , , - MC

Just my personal experience here:

Right now, I’m 26, my girlfriend is almost 33, and I’m not freaking out about that at all. In my somewhat-lurid past, I’ve dated in some capacity twice now women more than 10 years my senior. Both times were a few years ago, when I was 22-23 or so. One of them even had two daughters, 8 and 5 years old.

I don’t know what the connection is. I suppose I like “grown up” women and the majority I’ve dated around my age have seemed rather immature. I dunno. The older certainly know what to do, though. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Shouldn’t this be in MPSIMS, anyway?

Easy for me. My father was about 17 years older than my mother. Thus, it’s easy for me to date younger women.

Take a look at your background, bet youll find the answer.

Well, Handy, it’s not that simple. My father was about three months older than my mother. I can’t think of any of my (immediate) ancestors and family members where the woman was older by the man.

The only logic I can place here is that my mom was the oldest child in her family. So much so that her sister was only 12 or 13 years older than me, and always was more of an older sister than aunt to me.

But, I stand by my original post. I think it’s a maturity thing.

Well, I like having cultural references in common, so when you diverge by more than 7 years or so . . . When I was in my mid-30s I dated a 20-year-old. ONCE. I felt like I was out with Bart Simpson. Besides, had I transported him over state lines, I coulda been in for 10-15 years.

For a lustful roll in the hay, I’ll take a 25 year old. Hell, I’ll take two. But when it comes to serious relationships, I like men, not boys. I suppose a very mature younger man might…no, I take that back. I like older men.

“I think it would be a great idea” Mohandas Ghandi’s answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization

Reminds me of two films: “The Graduate” and “In Praise of Older Women”. I liked them both.

I’ve attempted to date at least 5 women who were older than me (by a few months or by as much as 5 years) IT NEVER WORKED BY A LONG SHOT! To tell you the truth, none of them gave even lame excuses. They all just faded away and didn’t even say goodbye ;-(

I think that if you habitually date/find yourself attracted to people that are much younger than yourself (15+ years)you need to explore your motives. I am not making a blanket statement here, but I think that in some cases the desire to date signifigantly younger people stems from the need to date some one you can control completly. When you are forty years old it is very easy to manipulate a twenty year old (or at least many twenty year olds) They wear their hearts on their sleeves, and are frequently totally inexperienced. This leaves them more or less defenseless to the machinations of an older partner. Hell, at this point many people’s personalities are like putty, and you can mold your young lover to be whatever you want. This is very flattering and enjoyable. But it is not right.

I repeat, I am not making a blanket statement here–I think that in some cases relationships involving people of very different ages can be quite healthy. When that happens, however, I think that it is in spite of the age difference, not because of it. And if you are attracted specifically to the age group someone is in, not the individual, I think you need to explore the possibility that at least part of the attraction is knowing that you will be the one in firm control. On a side note, I don’t think that gender makes any difference at all in these situations (older man and younger woman vs. older woman and younger man).

Just as a data point, I once dated a woman who was 11 years older than me. It went fairly well for awhile before we drifted apart. (Interestingly, she eventually married someone younger than me.)

I also dated a woman who was 12 years younger than me.(This was many years after the first.) That one didn’t last too long; it was like dating someone from another planet. (We had nothing in common.)

“You can’t run away forever; but there’s nothing wrong with getting a good head start.” — Jim Steinman

Dennis Matheson — Dennis@mountaindiver.com
Hike, Dive, Ski, Climb — www.mountaindiver.com

When I was 18, I dated a man who was 37. He was a great guy, and we had a good relationship. But the life experience thing finally caused us to end the relationship. I was a weirded out girl/woman, and he was a relaxed, mellow hippie. Although the romantic relationship failed, the friendship did not. We’re still friends, and it’s been 12 years since we split up.

The men I’ve dated (& married) since then have been much, much closer to my own age. My husband is 6 years older than me. I’ve dated younger men, though, and gotten a mixed bag. If they were only 1-2 years younger, we got along fine. Much more than that, forget it. We’re on completely different planets.

My past 4 boyfriends have been, on average, 6-8 years younger than I am (I’m 31). Each one ended for different reasons, but the last one sticks out in my mind the most. There was actually a generation gap. I couldn’t get past that…stuff he thought was fun was immature to me, and we didn’t have the same tastes, nor did we have a lot in common.

On the same token, the others were more mature. It depends on the person. When I first was dating them, I had a hang-up about the age differences but everyone told me it shouldn’t matter. And I agree. I have a friend who is dating a man about 20 years older than she is. She’s very happy with him.

Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!

Optimally I’d date women in their 20s. At 68, that’s sort of out of the question. Although asked twice, I never married.

My mother was 4 yr older than my father, who was rather immature at the time of his marriage, though 24. I was first-born soon thereafter. My younger brother, quite immature at 20, married, at that age, a woman of 24. They divorced when their kids were teenagers. He then hung around girls far too young. My sister, 10 yr younger than I, married a man, I guess about 4 yr older, raised 2 kids and is still married. While my mother and father were good for each other and generally good parents, I think switched ages would’ve been much better for the male offspring. My parents remained happily married until the death of my mother at age 93.


I have always been attracted to older men. I just seem to have more in common intellectually with older than younger men. My husband is 8 years older and we’ve been married for 6 years (I’m 30 and he’s 38).

A year ago a younger man had quite a crush on me. He though I was his age though (24). It was fun to flirt, but I just couldn’t take him seriously. He seemed like such a little boy. I can’t imagine being with a younger man (more than 2 years or so), they are on average very immature compared to women of the same age. This is just a personal opinion.

      • Regarding motives: I seem to recall a few years back that a poll was done by the Japanese gov’t, to try to find out why younger women had started marrying older men en masse. Short answer: the women wanted a man with an established career and the material wealth that usually accompanies it. - MC

I’d date a woman any age, up to the point of where the law is concerned. Most of the women attracted to me are around 20, for some reason.

If they are young, I would ask their folks or at least meet them. Most of their folks are a just a little older than I & kinda pissy at first but eventually see that Im just a nice & respectable guy & their isn’t anything to be concerned about.

I’m training myself a new interpreter, who’s 17 & they make nice girlfriends. She couldn’t make it last night to terp for me, called & said,’ I can’t come tonight, Im on restriction because I stayed out too late the other night.’ :slight_smile: