I press the button that causes my trunk to open up, lower down the 1920’s style death ray, and vaporize the offending vehicle.
At least that is what happens in my mind.
I just have a radioactive hazard sign on the rear of the vehicle. They never follow close.
Nuke them from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure. 
As tempting as it is to touch your brakes, you can have an accident, which is after all, the very thing you are trying to avoid. They have already proven that they are a d*ckhead, they don’t need you to prove it too.
Which is not to say that I didn’t ring the cell number on the side of the bank’s ‘mobile lender’ car and demand that she move it btch, and now, don’t make me come over there* after she stole my parking spot.
I don’t get it. If he could have passed the OP, why the tailgating? Maybe there’s some law about trucks of a certain size not being allowed to use anything but the rightmost lane?
As for those of you who sit in the passing lanes when there’s no reason you couldn’t return to the slow lane… I know the rules are probably different, but over here that’s considered bad driving. Not sure if it’s actually illegal but it will piss other drivers off.
Surely if he was in a hurry he would have passed rather than tailgated.
I think most tailgaters do it to intimidate others - they are bullies.
If someone was tailgating me with the express purpose of being a dickhead and trying to intimidate me- as in the OP- no way I’d pull off the road, stop the car and make my phone call. For all I know, the lunatic behind the wheel is hoping I’d do just that, then get out of his truck and smash in my window with a tire iron or something. I’d do exactly what the OP did- continue driving, call the guy’s company and let them deal with him.
Good on the OP. I did the same thing once a few years ago (during my brief period of cell phone ownership). Some guy driving the company pickup ran a red light while I was in the middle of the intersection turning and we nearly collided. I called the number on the truck and got the owner. He thanked me for reporting it and said it wasn’t the first time someone had reported the driver. No idea if anything came of it but I’m still glad I did it.
Otto that sounds like the west side of Madison around the Woodmans area. I had three different people run red lights around there in about five minutes. They never even looked around, just stared forward.
I know the right lane is for slower traffic, but many places only allow trucks in the right lane. When it became obvious that he wasn’t going to pass you, why didn’t you just move out of his way and let him go ahead, either by moving to the left lane or pulling over? Seemed like you were just being obnoxious for the sake of it.
You’re a better driver than I am – I, being a cheapass, use a junk dropper, as the ammo is free. When my local law gets updated, I plan to upgrade to a flaming oil jet, with corner-mounted paint sprayers.
This tactic is part of the plot of the novel The Eiger Sanction (and Clint Eastwood does it in the movie as well).
It never worked for me in real life. Tailgaters are too stupid to pay attention to brake lights.
No, the person driving three feet from the OP’s rear bumper was the one being obnoxious for the sake of it.
The only two things I can think of, in defense of a trucker are;
1> Some trucks are equipped with governors that limit their speed (I’ve known guys whose trucks were limited to 63mph. Sucks for inter-state travel!). If the guy is already doing his maximum speed, he will not be able to pass you in traffic. Given that some people are dickheads and will speed up when you attempt to pass them, maybe he’s decided to simply plow people out of his way by tailgating them rather than play passing games.
2> Some states require trucks to remain in the right lane. I recall a story from when I worked at a truck gate, where a guy got a ticket for being in the left lane when all he was doing was passing someone.
If MacTech’s locale is one of those places and the guy had a governor on his truck, I can understand that he might be a little irritable.
Still doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it might explain it.
Sorry to bump this thread, but I just wanted to say, “Very nice writing, MacTech.” My day got started out on a bright note, reading your OP Tuesday. Not to encourage your driving habits, but your running account of a common occurrence made us all smile, and I think that was your purpose. You don’t like periods, do you?
Check the left lane. Nothing coming? Signal and pull into left lane. Brake, as if you were preparing to make a left-hand turn. (To no slower than 1/2 the speed limit though). Tailgating car should sail past you in right lane unless tailgater also brakes. Once tailgating car is a car-length in front of you, signal right and pull back into right lane. That’s unpassing. AFAIK there’s no law against it, nor is it more dangerous than normal passing.