Ha HA!, stupid truck driver, you tailgated the wrong guy...

Yes, I know you have a tight schedule, Mr. Kitchen Supply Truck Driver (KSTD), but tailgating me is not an option, pull back to a safe following distance, please, you’re in a big International box truck, I’m in a Dodge Neon, my car may be small, but i’m not intimidated by your truck, we’re on a two lane road after all, and you could always pass me if I seem to be driving too slowly for your taste, still, I’d be careful if I were you, as the cops are out in force today…

Oh, I guess flashing the brake lights won’t work either , oh well, time to drive exactly the speed limit…

Hmm, you’re tailgating me on the rotary too?, and taking the same exit as me, and you seem to be still tailgating me on this 2-lane road as well… it’s clear you’re doing this deliberately… go ahead, pass me on this two lane road…

Oh, what’s this I spy, emblazoned on the side of the truck, the PHONE NUMBER of your company, hmm, grab cell phone, key in number, press SEND

“Thank you for calling Kitchen Supply company, how may I help you”
Yes, one of your drivers has been tailgating me for the past 5 miles or so, I’m in GenericSeacoastTown, USA, the licence plate is Massachussets plate number “IMA-JRK” (plate number made up for humorous effect)
“Thank you for the report, please hold…”
<interminable Muzak plays…>
“Thank you for holding, I have forwarded this report on to the driver’s manager, he will be disciplined, we do not condone this behavior, I’m sorry”
thank you, he was really being a jerk
“you’re welcome, sorry he was tailgating you, we can’t have our drivers doing this, he will be disciplined, thank you for calling, have a nice day”
thanks, you too :slight_smile:
<flip phone closed>

In the words of Nelson Muntz…


Yes, it’s possible that the receptionist was just trying to placate me, but there’s also the possibility that Mr “IMA-JRK” may get verbally disciplined/written up/fired…

Not a good idea to tailgate other drivers, especially when your vehicle has a HUGE phone number on the side of the vehicle…

Here’s your sign… :wink:

Was he a dick? Absolutely.

Should you have called and complained? Sure - makes a ton of sense.

Should you have pulled over and let the idiot pass you, and not make a cell phone call while driving? Frankly, yes to both counts - based on the recommendations of researchers who check into this stuff for governments and companies, avoiding road rage by just letting the schmo pass - even though you are in the right - is safer than confronting or doing a cute “driving the speed limit” maneuver. And talking on cell phones while driving is well known to be a risk.

My $.02 - Glad you got the guy, but we all have room for improvement…

It will be interesting to see where this thread goes…

Hey, I never said I was perfect, did I?, but to clarify…

IMA-JRK was tailgating me on a two-lane road, I was in the rightmost (travel) lane, he had every opportunity to pass me, he chose to be a jerk and tailgate

yes, I should have pulled over to make the call, but I needed to keep him in visual range for the licence plate number, that said, this is the first time I’ve used my cell in over 6 months, I hate phones, the phone is normally unplugged and powered off

I don’t know. I’m torn on the issue, I usually like to do whatever I can (safely) to allow those in a hurry to get past or around me. I wouldn’t have let some idiot tailgate me for that long under most conditions. You didn’t do anything wrong but you didn’t to the most right thing in my mind. I would have pulled slightly over and waived the putz around the first chance I had. I’d want someone to do the same If I was truly in a hurry and wasn’t driving unsafe.

I’m getting the impression that it’s not a ‘two-lane road’, but a road that has two lanes going in one direction and one or more lanes going in the opposite direction. i.e., a three- or four-lane road. If that’s correct, and MacTech was in the right lane, then the truck should have used the left (‘passing’) lane.

Yep - with that additional clarity, if the truck could’ve passed on the left at any time, then he was an even bigger idiot than I originally understood…

yes, to clarify, both roads (before and after the rotary) were two lane with traffic moving in the same direction

IMA-JRK could have passed me at any time…

Well then I would’ve slowed down even more…if I were you. :smiley: You should’ve upped the asshole ante by about 10 miles per hour slower.

My favorite tactic is to alternate between +5 and -5 around the speed limit. After they nearly run up my tailgate about 3 times, they usually get the hint, and back off. I then return to my normal +7 over speed.

I’ve found that the faster I drive, the fewer the assholes that have the balls to tailgate me.

A friend of mine used a little trick to get rid of tailgaters. While driving normally, he would delicately touch the brake pedal with his left foot, just enough to make the braking lights turn on, but without any significant braking taking place. He used to say that got him rid of tailgaters very quickly, but you need to be careful braking!

My favorite response to unreasonable tailgaters, those being the ones who could easily pass me, especially when there is more than one lane available for their use (say, like when I’m in the center or right lane of 3 or 4 available);

Is to simply take my foot off the gas pedal. No slamming or even tapping on the brakes. Just take my foot off the gas and allow the car to slow down on it’s own. See how long it takes them to get the hint.

Once in a while, I’ve been down below 35mph in a 70 zone, with the asshole flipping me off, flashing their brights and blowing their horn. At that point, I generally hit the brakes and flash the finger, because they’re obviously not taking the hint. (There are three or four lanes on the highway I take to and from work. You’ve got 2-3 other lanes, jackass. USE ONE.)

How does he know that I haven’t just run out of gas or my car has died? Oh sure, I suppose that I could pull off the road, but on a freeway, you’re only supposed to do that in an actual emergency. “Asshole at 6 o’clock” isn’t an emergency.

Someday I’m going to invent and install that scrolling text thing for the bottom of my rear view windshield. Imagine the surprise when red text suddenly scrolls right to left across the back of the car in front of you, telling you to “…Back off or Fuck off, it’s your choice…”

You mean like this one?

In response to tailgaters, I usually push the dashboard button that releases nails all over the road. Either that or oil.

I like to “wash” them with my windsheild wiper fluid. At speeds more than 35 or so that stuff will carry right onto their windshield. Two times is usually sufficient to get them off my tail.

I usually go with verbal discipline. It’s always he said / she said . I have actually asked my drivers to not only be courteous but to go out of their way to do so. Since their driving a billboard and all.

Okay, you win. I usually do what other’s have recommened which is instantly turn into the best driver ever (5mph under limit w. added hand turn signals).

Last time I went bicycling I was on a major four lane road downtown (two lanes each direction, plus another wide lane on each side for parking. I was riding far enough to the right that both lanes of traffic should have been able to drive straight, and I was biking at the speed of traffic so it’s not like I was holding up traffic or anything. So this asshole comes driving up behind me (speeding at least 15km/h over the speed limit) and starts tailgating me. While I’m on a BIKE. Their bumper was maybe 10" behind my back tire. Freaked me the hell out. And there was NO traffic in the other lane - wide and clear - they definitely could have passed me with no difficulty. I guess their hobby is just putting random cyclists in fear of their lives.

I used to do this. The last time, the tailgater zipped over to the left lane, pulled up next to me in his vehicle 4 times larger then mine, and proceded to drift into my lane, until he was staddling the paint line between us. I was driving halfway on the shoulder, with cars before and after, so I really couldn’t get away from him.

I’ve kind of decided not to risk that one any more.

I think he was drafting you to save fuel. Not really.