My hair will stand up with little effort, if I run my fingers through it I can get it to stand up on end (my hair is about 2 inches long) and stay that way. It makes brushing it to look presentable at work where I am trying to pretend to fit in harder because it is constantly wavy or sticking up where it shouldn’t.
So I know there are lots of hair care products that add body, what about ones that take it away so hair becomes more flat? I had to stop using conditioner because it made my problem worse.
Go “no-poo”. Your hair will retain its natural oils and that will weigh it down. I’ve talked about it before, I think this is the best post: No-Poo. I have been weening myself off using the soap in the baking soda rinse, but every week or so I still need it.
Possibly a leave conditioner woud work for you. I’ve read (can’t find the cite, or the site, sorry) that 1 part conditioner to 3 parts water in a spritzer bottel works well. If you’ve already got conditioner at home it would be free to try,
I use an older pomade type product that is more water soluble and less waxy, but for the life of me I can’t think of the name. I know it looks like it’s from the 70’s and it comes in a teal/blue small plastic tub.
My hair tends to have a mind of its own and I have been using American Crew Forming Cream with success. It isn’t as stiff as gel and seems more resilient. For the size of the tub it seems expensive, but one tub can last me six months so it isn’t too bad overall.
I’m using Pro-Line Comb-Thru Softener - it’s cheap and doesn’t build up too much on the hair. Put a dollup in your hands and smooth it through either wet or dry hair. They also do a leave-in conditioner which works, but this softener seems to work better.
I have very thick, curly hair, and use a product made (mostly) of beeswax. It makes my hair behave without looking “styled” and I can still run my hands through it, which I tend to do when I’m tired or stressed, and it would stress me out more to remember not to, so this is a good thing. Plus it smells nice. I only need a little bit, about the size of a pea, for hair that’s currently maybe four inches long (I must get a haircut…) on a medium-sized head.
This isn’t a product, but get a good haircut from a decent salon. Find a stylist you like who will get to know your hair.
My hair is very thick and has lots of body, and gets out of hand really easily, but my beloved Sara will look at it after cutting a bit, declare, “It’s still too heavy,” and proceed with some form of sorcery that makes it lie down and behave.
Or, instead of trying to fight it, just get some pomade and do a slightly messy “It’s supposed to look this way” sort of look. Sometimes you just gotta go with a look your hair agrees with.
Maybe an appointment with a good men’s hair cutter is in order, as already mentioned. A slightly shorter and well-textured cut might help you with looking like it’s supposed to be a little messy, but still professional and “clean-cut.”
I speak from experience: Don’t fight your hair. Decide what’s easiest to maintain, and get it cut and styled to go in that direction. If it wants to stand up, and for professional reasons you need it to look like, say, Don Draper’s hair in Mad Men, you need Don Draper’s product, which was probably Alberto VO5 or Brylcreem. But these days a lot of other looks are acceptable in most work places.