Halloween is my son's birthday. Fright suggestions?

This year he’ll be 13. Suggestions for scaring the shit out of him will be gratefully accepted. There are precidents, we do have a scare-fest most years, but I’d like to take it to a new level.
Am I sick? You’d do this too right?


How bad do you want to scare him? :smiley:
[ul][li]Blade Runner. Tell him he’s not your son. He’s a replicant that was made in a laboratory, and that his “memories” are all implants. He’s really only three years old.[/li][li](Borrowing from a short story whose name I don’t remember). Tell him that now that he’s 13, he’ll have to take a government test. If he scores too high or too low, he’ll be liquidated immediately. Oh, and tell him that it’s happening that afternoon and that there will be no time to study.[/li][li]Let him overhear a conversation in which you say that you are planning a vacation, and not taking him. Joke about how long it will take him to realise you’re never coming back.[/ul][/li]Okay, those are exceedingly cruel. Don’t do those. I’m just being evil. But it is taking it to “a new level”. :smiley:

How about a “haunted graveyard” thing? Take him to a cemetary, and have some confederates there. Maybe you could have an Old Man who explains that there are ghosts there, and that the cemetary was also the meeting place of witches and demons. The Old Man can say that there is a legend that children were taken for Satanic Sacfifices on Halloween Night. Then your confederates, in various scary costumes, could lurk “just out of sight” making noises and allowing glimpses of themselves.

A former co-worker’s boyfriend and his friends would scare the crap out of trick-or-treating kids who approached their house.

Make random noises spaced many seconds apart on a tape. Whisper his name urgently from time to time on the tape. Hide the tape player and set it running with the volume set very low – almost inaudible. When he hears things, pretend you heard nothing.

This reminds me of a trick my dad played on me when I was a kid. I think I was only about five years old at the time. He had recently read me a somewhat scary story about the boogie man. Then, when I was in my room, I heard a spooky voice saying “I am the boooogiieee maaan, and I’m coming for yoooouuu” or something like that. I knew my dad liked to play jokes, so I figured he was just standing out in the hallway doing scary voices. I said, “I know it’s you, dad!” So my dad walks in from the hallway and says “What’s me?” As he stands there looking puzzled, I heard the voice say “Tiiiiim, I’m coming for yooouuuu!!”

I must have jumped three feet in the air. Of course, it turned out he had tape-recorded himself.

Like I said, I was just a little kid at the time . . . a 13-year-old wouldn’t be so gullible. Still, tape recorded voices can be very scary if you’re not expecting it.

If you can convince him to participate in some spooky activity, like a seance, and really set the mood well (candle light only, everyone required to act very serious, etc.), and then find some clever way to make it look like the dead are actually contacting you (tape recorded voice, hidden accomplice, etc.) that can be pretty frightening. I think I’ve seen websites with advice on how to hold a scary seance before, if you want to search for one.

If he’s a sound sleeper, and you want to get really ellaborate, you could stay up late redecorating some room of your house (like a basement room). You could cover most of the windows with black construction paper to block out the light, remove any furniture or cover it with dark sheets, spread fake cobwebs all around, maybe a pile of bones in the corner. (You should be able to find this stuff at a store that carries Halloween decorations.) Tape over the light switches so he can’t feel for them in the dark, and remove any lightbulbs just in case he finds a switch. Just try to make the whole place dark, spooky and unrecognizable. Maybe throw in some tape-recorded spooky noises as well (creaking doors, rattling chains, etc.) Then (here’s where the sound sleeper part comes in) pick him up and carry him downstairs, so that he wakes up in unfamiliar and terrifying
surroundings. (As a back-up plan, you could find some scary mask to wear while carrying him, so even if he does wake up you still get a bit of a scare in there.)

And yeah, it’s sick, but that’s what makes it so fun! :smiley:

I hear Eve has some sort of life-size Scoobie-Doo halloween character in her yard she would like to get rid of.

Send him the bill for the first twelve years.