James Ussher, archbishop of Armagh, revealed to us Earth’s birthday. As Earth turns 6009, it behooves us to celebrate it in a manner befitting its grandeur.
So, what are you doing to honour this simple planet without which we would all float free?
Looking for something it’ll appreciate, like an itty bitty carbon footprint.
w00t! palindromic birthday, if you look at it upside down and backwards.
Let us take a moment to pray for the souls of the heretics who insist the Earth is a ball and that it revolves around the Sun.
I dunno. What’s it done for me lately?
mm
I, personally, am going to pour myself a glass of Merlot, put on a little Beethoven, probably the 9th Symphony, strip off my clothes, and take a steaming shit on a stack of books in support of “creationism.”
Why will taking a steaming shit on a stack of books demonstrate support for creationism, and why would you want to given the sentiments expressed in your signature? 
Well I gotta say, it sure looks great for its age!
Although I have to think there may be a wee bit of fibbing involved.
Rumor is, it’s had a lot of work done.
Let there be partying!
Uhhhhhh…Embrace Ambiguity!!! and stuff. 
Actually, the whole thing is not that “the earth revolves around the sun”, it’s “calculations are much easier if we assume that the earth and other planets revolve around the sun following eliptical orbits than if we assume that the sun and planets revolve around the earth following circular orbits compounded to suborbits as many times as required”. After all, we could as well do the whole thing assuming square orbits around Alpha Centauri, but it would be a bitch.
As my college Physics liked to say “we’re engineers 'cause we know how to change the frame of reference to make calculations easier.”
Me, I’m gonna go round up a few Ardipithecus buddies of mine and go drink our sloped foreheads off.
Jelly and ice-cream of course, it’s a party, right?
I can’t put my finger on what it is, but to me it looks much, much older.
It’s Death Valley. Lack of proper moisturizing leads to premature aging.