Harley Brand Bullshit

The BBQ Pit
1

DH just left for a 4 (more or less, depending) day motorcycle ride.

No sooner had he left when his aunt called.

When I told her he’d just left for a bike ride, she seemed suprised that he didn’t invite her husband, Uncle Cranky, and his brother, Dirk, since they have ridden together on these kinds of trips in the past. She seemed surprised and hurt.

I had to be honest with her and say I didn’t know if those two (dumb clucks) were invited (but I’m certain they were not). Now a tiny family scandal is developing.

Well, too bad for you.

Why a scandal?

Because…

DH doesn’t have a “cool” motorcycle, like those two yokels. He has a Kawasaki, or maybe its a Yamaha. Or maybe something else. I don’t know.

It’s true, DH doesn’t have a Harley.

Nor does he own any Harley Brand T-Shirts.

Nor does he own a Harley Brand helmet.

No does he own any Harley Brand boots.

Not even a Harley Brand wristwatch!

Or sunglasses…or do-rags…or underwear.

But worst of all, he doesn’t even want one!

Past trips with the Doofus Twins have proven to be unbearable.

And not just because in the pursuit of manliness, these two won’t carry some basic gear to protect themselves from stuff like simple, road-side breakdowns, rain and unseasonable temperature changes. 'Cuz a small toolbox, raincoat and spare jacket aren’t cool, but waiting on the side of the road for DH’s toolbox, the rain to stop or a emergency trip to Wal-mart, I guess, is.

And every single stop involved the Upchuck Twins repeating some form of “When are you gonna man up/grow a dick/ditch that piece of crap and buy A Real Motorcycle?” I wasn’t funny after the first 500 or so times.

And, every past trip involved google-ing every possible Harley shop between where they started and where they were going so the Hardley Boys could add to their Harley Brand T-Shirt collection. Apparantly, you “need” one from every store in every state, and it’s not a problem to dive 500 or 1000 miles out of the way to obtain one.

(BTW-does Harley have those shirts cut special so they stretch ‘just right’ over the Hardley Boys pendulous abdomens?)

Also, every past trip devolved into a macho bonding experience between the two manly-Harley-men while they attempted to prove their studliness at the expense of my husband, whose sole purpose on these trips was, apparantly, to provide a “less fortunate” for these two to mock and abuse because he doesn’t ride a Harley Brand motorcycle.

Every past trip has instead proven that you two noobs are insufferable dicks. Tedious wankers (thanks SDMB!). Snobbish boors.

Every past trip has shown us that given the choice of riding with you or riding without you, without you is more fun.

Past rides have shown that you two, in short, suck.

I really can’t imagine that you would expect him to share ‘the-little-amount-of- time-he-has-off-to-do-something-he-enjoys’ with the two of you. And I really can’t imagine that, given your past behavior, you two are suprised by this. You two are et up with the dumbass and I don’t blame him one bit for not inviting you.

So, when are you two gonna grow up?

2

I’ve been fortunate that in my limited riding experience, I haven’t run across any true Harley snobs. I actually own a pair of HD riding boots just out of coincidence because they were comfortable and relatively inexpensive, but I haven’t got the slightest bit of interest in the motorcycles.

I’m glad your husband apparently made a decision to enjoy riding for the sake of riding and to not endure these yokels any longer.

3

My cousin has Harley stepping-stones in his garden.

4

DH has to say, in plain words, to these Harley boys that he doesn’t enjoy their company, what with all their ragging on him about his perfectly justifiable choice in what he rides. Maybe Auntie could be in earshot, too.

He should say it simply, and calmly, and not give an inch when the HD numnuts say, “Oh, but were are only joking. You can take a little joke, can’t you?”

No.

Harley snobs do not joke.

They truly believe that they and their bikes are better than anything else ever created.

DH needs to persist, and not waver. He needs to say that he will never ride with them, ever, until they stop this BS.

And he should have a “zero tolerance” policy about this, too. If he does agree to ride with them again, and they accidentally “slip up” and again deride his choice of ride, he should immediately ride off without them, hopefully with the the hotel room key with him, or other very valuable things, such as tools to fix the very unreliable Harleys.

Good luck.

**Spiff **
(Proud owner, but not obnoxious about it, of a Suzuki 650cc one-cylinder “metric cruiser”)

5

I’m sure there are plenty of exceptions to the rule, but they sound like your prototypical Harley riders to me. They, and the associated Harley [pseudo-]culture, are what completely turned me off to the brand (much more so than the bikes themselves, which are merely overhyped, overpriced, and unreliable).

Whether assholes gravitate toward Harleys or Harleys inspire assholery is a bit of a “chicken-or-egg” conundrum. (Cf. BMW convertible, Hummer, Bluetooth headset)

6

The Harley brand has morphed from the symbol of American Freedom, to the logo of killers, drug dealers and biker gangs, to the very meaning of unrealiable transportation, to the identification of the elite few who were able and willing to both afford and wait for their own brand new hog, to the preferred alternate mode of transport for douchebags and douchebag wanna-be’s.

Sad thing is, I used to like Harley. I still think the Fat Boy stands on it’s own as a classic in both design and technology. That said, unless they gave me one and grossed up the winnings to cover the taxes, I’ll never own one.

I have a Kawasaki KLR650 dual sport. I’m going to trade that in for (or pay it off and buy) a BMW R 1200 GS. I want a bike that’s just as much function as it is form, and I’m not willing to pay Harley Price$ to do it. Not to mention the fact that the BMW’s are ridden on all seven continents in all four seasons, and have great safety and repair records. Harley, not so much.

Now, I have a few HD shirts from outlets in the Caribbean, just for their cool factor. They almost always get comments when I’m riding the KLR. :smiley: Most of the people I meet who own Harleys are altogether arrogant about the fact that they’re owners, to wit; there’s a custom, I assume it’s nationwide, of waving at another motorcycle rider as you ride, kind of a “hey, I get it, solidarity brother (or sister), enjoy your ride” sort of salute. The Harley guys don’t bother with it unless you’re on a Harley. I wave anyway, I figure screw 'em, they’re the ones paying an extra Hundred Dollars (HD, get it) for the simplest of parts, I figure they could use a little friendship, even if they’re too cool for it.

I say ride on DH! Screw 'em.

7

Harley lost it’s street cred for me when Hallmark stores started having Harley Davidson sections where you could get little Harley Davidson things for your preschooler.

8

Exact same experience here. The only time I can remember a guy on a Harley acknowledging me was years ago when I was riding my wife’s scooter, and I think his nod was more out of amusement than anything.

9

Harleys aint for me, and yet for some they are an essential part of their lifestyle.

Its not the Harley thats the problem, these folk are probably dicks all round.

I have watched dealers trying to get the back wheel out on thse machines, to do a tyre change, and its a bitch comared to just about every other bike out there.

That alone is enough to convince me I dont want one, but there are other things.
You start off with you basic Harley, but to actually bring it up to a useful machine, you end up needing to replace the brakes, which are rubbish, you’ll probably want to rework the cams and maybe the heads, the tank will be far too small so you’ll want to replace that, and no doubt get a spray job.

You can go on and on, replace the saddle with something reasonably comfortable.

By the time you have taken your basic Harely and actually turned it into something reasonable, you’ll be well and truly out of pocket, and you still will not have something as reliable as most other manufacturers - though it will be easier to repair in most cases.

Harley is not all that good on UK roads, we have corners, which are not really Harley territory, we also have weather, again, not Harley suitable.

I also don’t really want to spend 3 times as many hours cleaning my ride as actually riding it, which is what you need to do if you want it to stay looking pretty.

10

Hardly Ableson has no attraction for me either. I’ve got a Suzuki GS750 that is an absolute blast to ride and (apart from the charging system which is about to get fixed) utterly reliable.

I say tell 'em to their faces that they are being douchebags. It’s about the ride, not the bling.

except those insufferable BMW riders, they can all go to hell

[sub]ohgod I want a K1200RS:)[/sub]

11

My dad has a Harley. And probably 15 Harley t-shirts. But luckily he isn’t a snob. He used to ride sport bikes but “got too old for that” and now that he can, he got a Harley. I guess he has always wanted one. He bought his off some guy, I have no idea how old it is, not very though, and it’s a street bob? See, I don’t even know. And I live in the house with him. The bike is parked in our garage. He doesn’t talk about it enough for me to know anything about it other than the previous owner “added some cool shit to the bike.”

His bike is beautiful, flat black and chrome, but thankfully dad isn’t a snob about it. He has always liked bikes and finally bought a cruiser instead of a crotch rocket. He’s more Harley fanboy in a geeky way - we have to stop at every Harley dealership so he can get a t-shirt. But it paid off when we went to one in CO and got to sit on a real OC chopper, that was kind of cool.

But anyways, within all of life’s enjoyments, there are always snobs. For bikes, it’s Harley sometimes, for cars, there are tons, for clothes, books, movies, music, everything, you will find snobs. Just say fuck 'em and do what you do. Just don’t hate on all the Harley people, my dad is pretty nice.

12

You’re talking about a group of people who think the pinnacle of the motorcycle industry is technology that wasn’t new in 1975, and you’re surprised that they’re idiots?

13

I grew up in Milwaukee (home of Harley Davidson) and later moved to Daytona Beach (Bike Week, Biketoberfest) and got my fill of HDs early on. After you see the first thousand they all look alike.
They are like the Mr. Potatohead of motorcycles. You customize them in hundreds of ways but in the end it’s still Mr. Potatohead.

14

Hi, my name is OM and I have a flag fetish. Depsite the label some of the more assanine posters here have decided to label me with I am a proud American and at this point in history I find Harley Davidson to be just one of the brands of motorcycles that are of a decent quality. I can remember when Harleys were made by the AMF corporation, the guys that build bowling alleys, this was in Evel Knievels era, and they were pretty junky. The rest of the Japanese bikes were all reliable and well made and remain so to this day. Usually when some biker starts yapping about how great Harleys are I feel obligated to remind them of this fact.

15

I’ve always thought of Harleys as motorcycles for people who like to take unscheduled walks.

16

When I decided to get a motorcycle I deliberately stayed away from Harley they are over priced and due to a large portion of assholes everyone riding one gets the reputation. Instead I got a Victory Hammer.

The first time I rode it over to a buddy’s house he started giving me crap about riding a metric piece of junk instead of a real bike. I just smiled and nodded once we started our ride I rode the hell out of my bike, which for a cruiser is pretty nice performance wise. Once we got back to his place I explained exactly how much better my bike was and he just sat there dumbfounded. His only retort was “Well, at least my bikes American” Ya, funny story Victory is an American brand that’s actually made in the U.S. I just laughed at him.

Its fun to explain to ass holes like that how wrong they are. you should give your husband the opportunity.

17

Not all Harley riders are RUB assholes proudly tooling along on their $40k garbage wagons or contemptious tools barely making corners on their hidious $150k OCC wrecks.

I’ve owned a Harley in my day and lord willing will have another one before too long, and while on my budget it was more like owning a VW bus in terms of man hours of work compared to man hours of riding I can’t wait for my next one. I’ve never owned anything Harley branded besides the bike (which had a primer grey tank, no logos) and a silver eagle jacket patch I bought when I was 8 or 9. I would never dismiss anyone else for riding a different brand unless it’s a television style “chopper” that isn’t actually, you know, chopped.

Riding is about the journey, not the destination unless the destination has hot strippers and free beer. There are plenty of good Harley owning folks who don’t have a chrome anything or a custom part that they didn’t fabricate themselves who are just as stoked out to see anyone else’s ride as one of their own.

18

The “cool” motorcycles around here - the ones that the punk rockers ride around - are vintage 70s-80s-era Japanese sport-standards like Honda CB or Kawa KZ series and the like, either stripped-down and turned into “street fighters” or beautifully restored to original spec. I used to have a black '79 CB750F with “harvest gold” pinstripes straight out of Boogie Nights. (When it started to go south mechanically, I sold it - didn’t have the desire to work on it at the time.)

Harleys are for Weekend Warriors with nice houses in the suburbs and a Ford Excursion and a golden retriever and 3 kids.

(The stripped down bikes that one percenters and the like ride are a different animal entirely and those guys are not part of the brand-name Harley-logo-on-everything image bullshit )

19

I ride a Kawasaki ZZR 1200 sport tourer. I’m not a cruiser type of guy, and wouldn’t ride with anybody with such over the top attitudes as C&D, either. Lots of Harley owners buy em for the image, and don’t realize they point it out quite often. Seems like one rarely even knows or cares the brand of a metric rider’s unless they’re talking bikes. The most it’s ever shoved in one’s face is if their riding jacket or other equipment are of the same brand.

20

I wouldn’t understand the OP as well as I do before we drove from Calgary to Chicago, and back through Kansas. I gleaned that there are three important things in the Bible Belt - God, not allowing anyone to have abortions, and Harley Davidsons. I wouldn’t care to speculate which is more important; Harleys or God.

What never ceases to amaze these Canadian tourists is the lack of helmets on almost all US American motorcycle riders, but especially the Harley Davidson riders. These jerks don’t even have the decency to leave healthy bodies for donation after they slam headfirst into a tree.