I know some people are terrified of dentists, but I’ve never minded that. I’m terrified of visiting a doctor though. Has anyone else had this phobia and gotten over it? If so, how?
I have multiple reasons for my fear. For one I have an anxiety disorder and getting my blood pressure taken triggers an intense panic attack. So since every doctor wants a BP reading, that scares me. But on top of that, despite my normal resting BP being fine, it jumps to 200/120 during a panic attack. And I’ve had doctors try to convince me I was dying because I have anxiety. Having a doctor try to convince you that anxiety is fatal does a lot to make you avoid doctors out of fear and loss of credibility. It is hard for me to trust the opinions of a doctor who thinks anxiety is life threatening.
Plus I have shitty insurance. I know many Americans do now. My work only offers one policy, high deductible with no out of network coverage. So if I need anything advanced, it’ll cost me thousands. Anything out of network and I’m on the hook.
I guess part of the issue is that as an adult, doctors haven’t helped me much. They seem like they’d rather lecture my me about my weight (which I know needs improving, but scientific evidence shows long term weight loss from lifestyle alone is rare. I feel like they’re giving me advice that usually doesn’t work based on evidence based medicine) or try to convince me that anxiety is fatal. Most of my health problems I self treat or find other practitioners to help me with (physical therapists, etc)
I don’t know. I’ve dug myself into such a rut with fear and mistrust of doctors that I don’t know how to get out. I’d like to learn how to build a trust based relationship with a physician whose advice I value and I don’t know how.
The first step is finding one you who you respect and who meets your key criteria.
I suggest you start by treating your search for a doctor like a job search. Begin by making an list of your requirements.
You’ve outlined a few of these, above, for example someone who practices evidence-based medicine. You should see someone who has experience dealing with someone who has anxiety problems. Think about what would work best for you in your physician and make your list.
Next step, begin looking. Start with your network (just like a job hunt) of family, friends, and associates. Ask around for recommendations from people you know for doctors that they like. You should also check local medical networks for information. Many have websites with information on their doctors. You can find out about their education, number of years practicing, areas of specialty, and so on. Consult the web. There are several physician referral and ranking sites that will also give you information on area doctors. Your insurance company should also have information, usually on their website, about local doctors.
Once you have short list of doctors that meet your criteria, you can call their offices and talk to their staff. Share your particular needs and get a sense for whether they will work for you/with you. If the first doctor on your list sounds good, schedule an appointment. When you meet with him, be very specific about your requirements. Hopefully your research will pay off and this will be the beginning of a good working relationship for you with your doctor. Over time, this can build into trust.
I believe that check ups should be covered under standard insurance for now.
I went about 25 years between doctor visits. I didn’t trust them, even as a child. I finally found one that I moderately trust, and because I have to have my thyroid levels checked annually, I go once a year. Occasionally, every couple years, I’ll have to go for something else, such as a huge poison ivy rash (minor ones I just suck up, as well as minor aches, pains, infections and injuries), or a bad sprain where I thought I’d broken my wrist. Frankly, I think I’m healthier staying away from doctors. I figure my body is meant to heal itself, if given time and patience. My doctor finds me aggravating, I suspect.
Going that first time was hard. Very, very scary. As I’m getting older (I’m now almost 56), I find that I have to do things I don’t want, such as my first colonoscopy recently. Mammograms yearly. I have a very strong family history of cancer, and that’s not the way I want to go out. But I’ve never understood those people who seem to go to the doctor every couple of months. Suck it up - you’ll get over it!
Can you handle the BP machine at the supermarket? Maybe that could be a starting point.
Does your insurance allow for a yearly physical? It might be easier on you to acclimate to the doctor if you go when there isn’t a problem that you know of, and there’s no pressure to have to fix something.
I had what I would call a mild phobia. Nothing like what the OP is describing, but enough to keep me more or less away from hospitals and doctors for quite awhile. I don’t like getting my BP taken, and I hate having blood drawn. (Which is a little weird, because I don’t at all mind getting shots for whatever).
A few months ago I had a medical condition that required a few days stay in the hospital. Somewhat serious, but not life threatening and not surgery related. Had my BP taken every 6 hours and blood drawn on the same schedule. Hooked up to an IV in both arms for medications. And you know what turned out to be the worst part of the whole thing? The goddam boredom of sitting in the hospital waiting for things to happen, like the doctor visiting once per day for about 3 minutes. All that other stuff was nothing compared to the sheer boredom.
I take my BP a few times a week now, and my routine is to set the whole thing up, take 10 long, slow breaths, and then hit the button and get it over with. The whole thing takes maybe 15 or 20 seconds. You get used to it.
I agree with the advice about shopping for a doctor. The right one, who is empathetic to your situation, would go a long way in reducing your anxiety.
The other thing I would suggest is to get a home blood pressure device and use it regularly. Check your BP once a week, then maybe once a day for the seven days leading up to your doctor visit. Keep a log book and bring it with you to your appointment.
And don’t feel self-conscious about all this. Plenty of folks get anxious around docs. And he or she will appreciate the BP documentation you bring with you.
Is your anxiety primarily related to the blood pressure issue? If you don’t want to have your blood pressure taken, you can discuss that with your doctor and work out an alternative approach (such as you taking it at home and bringing in a log as was suggested).
I have anxiety that relates to my weight. I explained it to my previous doctor, who agreed not to weigh me. On rare occasions when my weight was required, he would do what he called a “stealth weighing” where I didn’t have to know what my weight is. After he retired, I explained the situation to my new doctor, and he was fine with it. Now I just tell the medical assistant, “Oh, sorry, I don’t weigh” when I come in. I’m sure you could find a doctor who would do something similar with your blood pressure (and your weight too, if you want).
As far as not having insurance to pay for treatments, remember that it is always your choice whether you want to pursue a treatment or not. Try to think of your doctor as someone who gives you valuable advice that you can choose whether to follow. You are in control of your own health.
I don’t mind doctors themselves. I really have to fight to not freak out about blood related things though. Getting my blood drawn or pressure measured really messes me up. I have to look away and try think about controlled breathing. They tried to take my blood pressure before a dental procedure and I ended up shaking uncontrollably and having to do it elsewhere under general anesthetic. So embarrassing. Didn’t care about the procedure. Stick a jack hammer in there if you like. Just the blood pressure, argh.
I remember when my dad was explaining on the phone the surgery he had to do to fix a short circuit in his heart, and the apparatus that got passed through his vein. I was pacing quickly on tip toes because just the thought of it was making me hyper sensitive to touch. What I wouldn’t give for zero gravity at that moment.
Can’t believe I got through typing that. Forgive me if I don’t proof read.
I have a debilitating needle phobia (I’ve told the story of my ER visit due to the phobia around here before but am too lazy to look it up). What I’ve found works is that I explain at irritating length to doctors, nurses, dentists–anyone who might ever think about poking me–that I want to save the pokes for extreme cases, and that I need sedation in advance, or else they’re likely to get vomited on and have to watch me make a humiliating scene of myself.
I used to not do that, not wanting to be a pest; but after having several nurses get weirded out at my reaction, I decided it was better to be a pest than a surprise-freak.
I always said my ideal hospital would be one where you go under as soon as you walk thru the door, and don’t wake up until you’re ready to go home. I’m actually not worried about it. I’ve had about half a dozen friends who had the procedure and it’s about as routine as getting your nails clipped these days.
I do do that though. I tell nurses and doctors ‘dont take my blood pressure. You won’t get an accurate reading. I know what my numbers are, but I have an anxiety disorder which causes my BP to spike by 70 points if I get it read when I’m having anxiety’.
Some are ok with it and don’t bother taking my BP vitals, but some still take it, I have terrible numbers and they are convinced I’m about to die.
At this point, its more exasperation than fear. I’m not afraid I’m going to die from anxiety in my 30s, but it is tiring to not be able to visit doctors because of this phobia.
Part of me is also terrified a doctor will call an ambulance and even if I refuse the visit, I’ll get a surprise bill for $2000 or so in the mail for the ambulance they called.
Basically its a mix of fear of getting my BP taken and a fear of spending thousands of dollars on medical care that concern me.
