…So the scientists place an ad in the paper: $5000 TO MATE WITH APE.
They got one response, who specified that, “First, the children must be raised Catholic. Second, my mother must never know. Finally, I want to pay in installments.”
You and me and Oliver ain’t nothing but mammals.
But let’s not give undue credence to outlandish suppositions about our respective interrelationships like they do on the Discovery Channel.
/Jimmy Pop Ali
Actually, I quite agree.
The only problem is that a lot of people tend to think humans are superior to our other relations (I don’t think so at all). So I chose the “easy” wording.
I suppose “interspecies hybrid” would have been more accurate…
Not very. The little DNA testing that has been done showed (IIRC) that Neanderthal DNA had about 4x the difference from Modern Sapiens that one would typically find beteween two Modern Sapiens. I suspect that the surrogate issue wouldn’t be a problem at all. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were medically possible for a human woman to be surrogate mother for a chimp fetus. Cross-species surrogates are commonly used in cloning rare mammals. Wow… has cloning become so common that I just said “commonly used”?
In thousands of years of human existence, I find it hard to believe that nobody’s ever fucked a chimpanzee.
Not speaking from experience or anything, but I don’t think they’re as “compliant” as, say, sheep are. 
But if a human/chimp hybrid were possible, the fusion of the egg and sperm would probably need a little help from the lab guys. What’s hard to beileve is that no sicentist anywhere seems to have tried…
I am not sure if this was mentioned in any of the previous links, but do y’all remember the strange sight of a hairless mouse with a “human” ear growing out of its back? Not exactly a human/other animal hybrid, but still interesting:
Sorry to say, but your teacher is a loony. It’s sad that the youth of our nation is being exposed to such irresponsible foolishness.
Everybody knows that the only human-animal hybrid is Bat boy. And he wasn’t the result of any government experiment - he was found living in a cave.
A dead chimpanzee is.
:Tweeeeeeeeeeeeeet:
:holds up yellow card and indicates foul on KidCharlemagne:
Pig and elephant DNA just won’t splice. Haven’t you heard that song by Loverboy?
BTW, are there any pictures of Oliver?
There are a two here, although some of the supporting material on the page may not be work-safe (references to an African woman being paraded around as half-ape due to exaggerated physical characteristics - it IS Rotten.com, after all).
Here’s an oldie:
An ant pulls a thorn out of an elephant’s foot, and the elephant asks the ant if there’s anything she can do in return.
“You can let me have sex with you”, replies the ant.
The elephant laughs to herself, and says, “Sure, knock yourself out.”
So the ant climbs up the elephant’s backside and gets busy. Meanwhile, a monkey sitting in a nearby tree sees the whole thing and starts laughing and throwing coconuts at the elephant. One of the coconuts hits the elephant square in the head. The elephant says, “Ow!”
“Take it all, bitch!”, says the ant.
I should have mentioned earlier that this is one of the funniest things I ever read. I laughed loudly at work.
Then there was Liver Fluke Guy on the X-Files…partly human.
God I love the Weekly World News. Their homepage (the first link you posted) currently features a reader survey.
Comparing the Discovery Channel to the National Enquirer is insulting to the National Enquirer.
DC and it’s other half-breed siblings primarily pander to ignorant “New Age” yahoos. There are far many more such cretinous yahoos out there than critical thinkers, on both sides of the TV screen. Every UFO show on the DC is at least subtly pro-extraterrestrial-spacecraft. Every ghost show on the DC is at least subtly pro-ghost. Every psychic show on the DC is at least subtly pro-psi.
Also, let’s not forget that critical thinkers are less likely to let advertisers influence their choice of toothpaste, soft drinks, or Christian rock bands, but that’s ultimately what TV is all about. Intelligent, scientifically literate thinkers are too small an audience to bother targeting. (Read Hofstadter’s classic Anti-Intellectualism in American Life to learn why).
I’ve always felt that it should be called the Mostly Bullshit Channel. I find it deeply offensive that they so greedily promote such misleading, pseudo-scientific claptrap to those few semi-yahoos among the crowd who are intelligent and rational enough to seek out scientific programming (yes, even entertaining scientific programming) but are, as yet, unable to recognize science from pseudo-scientific crackpottery. They’re ripe for the picking, and the Mostly Bullshit Channel doesn’t hesitate to harvest them.
It’s despicable.
that was an icky icky episode
Your first sentence cast serious doubt over the entire content of the next three paragraphs. Exposure can spark interest, which can lead to investigation, which can in turn foster knowledge. What’s despicable about that? The fact that a bunch of people earn a living priducing the “claptrap”?
How can one insult the National Enquirer? Who’s right to exist I also support with great enthusiasm.
I do dearly love the First Ammendment. The Great Equalizer. 
BTW; I neither read NE, nor watch DC. But you certainly may.