I’ve had a few mistakes occur at the hands of a doctor. Both could have resulted in malpractice except that I was raised not to sue, but to seek appropriate treatment and move on.
In neither case did any of the doctors involved apologize. The first case was bald hubris, laziness and arrogance in diagnosing something unseen- over the telephone.
The second was more complex but just as bad- two doctors missed basic and deeply important data on MRI films, as did both radiologists who read and wrote reports on said films.
With this background, I would STILL have appreciated an apology. It’s interesting that those simple words are used routinely to support a lawsuit.
Have you ever had a doctor apologize? Did it help you deal with whatever the issue was? Did it become a factor if you did sue for malpractice?
Weird. I was taught that apologising is often the best way of avoiding a lawsuit.
Especially since apologising can be done in such a way that it is not an admission of guilt, but still shows empathy and respect for your patient.
“I’m sorry about what happened to you, this must be very difficult for you to cope with” is different to saying “I’m sorry for what I did, I’m so sorry for ruining your life”.
Spain definitely doesn’t have the US’s taste for lawsuits and I’ve had my doctors apologize or admit I was right and they wrong quite a few times.
A friend of mine died because of a medical mistake. The maternity floor was full; she was sent to the trauma floor, which had room. When she asked for a painkiller, the nurse gave her the one they give to patients who don’t have a history of ulcers: aspirin. I don’t know what the medical term is (I thought Reye’s syndrome, but Google points to that as being something else), but she died from hemorrage to the brain chamber. The first reaction of the hospital (which happens to be the most prestigious medical school in the country) was “we’re sorry!” They offered compensation to the family; the family asked for different terms in the economic compensation but mostly “make sure you teach people about this, make sure that people know that when they’re dealing with a kind of condition they’re not used to, they have to ask those who know more.” The economic part of the compensation is that the hospital will pay for the daughter’s schooling, up to and including the graduate level. No judges were involved; the only lawyer involved was the Notary who wrote down the compensation agreement.
One reason I continue going to my doctor, despite his shitty front desk reception is that he is an excellent doctor and has yet to make an error (at least in my treatment). He is quite competent, but I have no doubt in my mind that if he did err, he would apologise. He is a very thoughful and caring man who actually takes the time to get to know his patients.
When my father passed away, even though my doctor had never met my father, he hugged me and shed a few tears along with me when I went to see him for some temporary relief (read: xanax) for dealing with my grief. You simply do not come across doctors like that anymore.
That is not to say that my doctor is all-knowing. In fact, he and I have butted heads at least once concerning my thyroid issues. I do my research, too. When he disagreed on how best to deal with my thyroid (I was having major issues but he didn’t want to up my synthroid), I brought in data printed from AMA’s website – he had not seen it before and followed up on his own to be sure it was the latest data before making any decisions.
I have had him tell me “I am not infallable” when recommending an unusual test for an unusual issue. We have a mutually respecting relationship. I respect the fact that he has the medical license and he respects my intelligence and attention to detail – my need to be anal retentive and research things.
I do want to mention that he is a pretty young guy, only 37-38. Maybe it has to do with his age, but I honestly just think he is one of those rare, “really great” people. He genuinely cares about his patients. When I go in, he always asks about my kids (by name – he remembers their names and ages) and my husband (also by name). Did I mention he is part of a larger practice, and not one of those small-town only has 5-6 patients guys? Oh, yeh – the reason I would pay out-of-pocket to see him as opposed to any other doctor if it came down to it: When I first went to him, he was the first doctor to diagnose my hypothyroid rather than just telling me to “push away from the table.” When the bloodwork came back, rather than some random nurse calling he called me at home at 6 pm from his cell phone.
Mine did when I was having my tubes tied and the preliminary blood work showed that I had acute renal failure. I had to drink the evil cocktail to clean out my system and was all freaked out, and he told me “Oops! The lab made a mistake!”
Shortly after I got married and moved to Kansas, I went to a doctor recommened by someone (don’t remember whom) for my few and far between fainting spells and dizziness. He knew that I worked at a nursing home and told me that I “see a lot of people taking medications that make them feel better”. I found that an odd statement, but he wrote me a prescription for Xanax and I thought that it would work.
Well, it did not cure me of my dizziness, but I had no more fainting spells. Still, I was afraid to go to department stores for fear of passing out and I found myself lashing out at people at my workplace. The last straw was screaming at an Alzheimers patient who had no idea who I was or what I wanted.
Flash forward a few days later. New Doctor. NuDoc takes blood tests (hey that other Doc never did that!) and the results say that I have low blood sugar. Hey, dipshit, that’s why you’re dizzy and passing out. You’re eating like shit and skipping meals. And, please, throw away that damn Xanax, that’s the last thing you need. WHoooo! Thanks Doc, you have actually helped me. I will change my diet and eat regularly. And so I did.
I never went back to old, tired Doc, and never turned him in, so to speak, but he must be dead by now so that’s a relief. I was too young and naive back then to realize he was treating me like an hysterical woman who wanted a little helper in a capsule. I choose my doctors very carefully know and I insist they listen to me as well as I listen to them. I know my body and nobody will force any drug on me until I have all the facts. So, what I have to say to all women is if you do not trust what your doctor is saying, go get another opinion. If he/she does not listen to you, find another doctor. You need to have a Doc who will listen to you, and likewise you need to feel comfortable listening to him/her. Don’t let anyine bully you because they have an M.D. after their name.
That practically brought tears to myy eyes. I wish I could say the same about the US.
BTW, I’m lucky enough to have reached middle age with almost no medical treatment. But even the few times I’ve been in doctor’s offices there have been minor screwups and never an apology.
The only time I ever heard of a doctor apologizing was decades ago when my father-in-law died. The surgeon had removed a bit of cancerous esophogus and had stitched the alimentary canal back together. He thought he had everything collected together and sewn up tight but apparently he missed a spot. FIL developed inflammation due to stuff leaking out into his body cavity (so I’m told) and passed away. My Hubby says that the surgeon personally came to the family members and said something along the lines of “I’m sorry, I thought I had gotten it all - I must have missed a spot”.
The family was actually grateful for all that the surgeon tried to do (this was 25 or 30 years ago, and stomach cancer was more likely to be deadly then). They never for a minute thought of suing him. I don’t think a surgeon would dare make such a statement today.
Yes, I have two doctors who both apologize at various times. Whether they’d be allowed to apologize when there was the possibility of a lawsuit, I don’t know, but assume they would.
As a psychologist, I apologize if I’ve made an error or when a client/patient and I aren’t communicating effectively.
Yes, my son’s pediatrican apologized for his practice missing an obscure, but not totally out there, diagnosis.
We went to the office every day for a week (never seeing our pediatrican but other members of the practice) with my son. It turns out he had a bone infection in his leg. One doc in the practice was totally dissmisive, the other one was somewhat better but still not as aggressive as I felt we needed to be.
When my son was admitted into the hospital (after we got a friend of the family pediatric rheumotologist to look at him on a Sat) my pediatrican called and said they should have never missed it, looking back and he was really sorry.
I really appreciated his compassion. I gained a lot of respect for the docs that apologized and will never see the one that was so dismissive.
(That same illness had the nicest interaction I ever had with an insurance rep- I called to tell the rep that he was being admitted and the first thing the rep said was that he was really sorry our son was sick. Nice.)
Yes, my finger doctor (no, not proctologist) apologized after I showed him that he had put “left hand” on the surgery prep sheet for insertion of a metal pin under a fingernail of my right hand to try (unsuccessfully) to correct a mallet finger.
I had a dentist apologize to me on the 7th or 8th of 9 visits to get a root canal/crown. I know that the emergency visit before that, when he was out, and a more senior dentist saw me, the senior was swearing and calling people in to show them what a mess the first dentist had made of my mouth. I got a Target gift card out of them, too.
Never, ever go to a dentist/assistant combo that has less than 6 months experience between them. Ouch.
