I wonder to what extent this truism applies to gays and lesbians. Would a guy end up with another guy like his own dad, or like his mom?
I know that sound like I’m being inflammatory, but :shrug: I’m just curious.
Totally. Not only did he have the same name as my father (which was weird), but he looked similar, was quite a bit older than me, and had a lot of personality traits in common.
This one only has a hair color in common with my Dad. And so does half the planet; I can live with that congruence.
I married my “father.” Both are slightly below average in height, trim in build, with dark blonde hair and glasses. Both work in electronics industries, with the same variety of education. My husband and my father are both quiet and somewhat reserved with a good, quirky sense of humor. Both are rabid music lovers (although different varieties). They get along great.
It’s sort of creepy, really. I realized it early on, and figured the similarities couldn’t be a bad thing since I have nothing but respect for my father.
What’s better? Before I dated my husband, he met my father. In a strip club.
(my dad’s brother was getting married and my husband was friends with my dad’s sister’s fiance, so they were all together for the bachelor party)
I don’t think my wife is much like my mom, other than superficial things like being petite and dark-haried. Both my wife and my mom are kind and decent people, but pretty different personality-wise.
I don’t think I’m much like my father-in-law. I don’t think we’re alike in any way, now that I think about it. We really don’t like each other much.
Once, when I was single, I was chatting up a woman in a bar. Things were going better than they usually did – she had not immediately found a reason to flee the building. In fact, I was staring to think that a number might be coming my way. Then, she said her name. Nooooo! She shared my mom’s very uncommon first name. The thought of calling my mom’s name in the throes of passion was just too horrifying to contemplate.
On the surface, my dad and my husband are very different. Dad’s a conservative; husband’s a pinko. Dad’s very devout; husband’s an atheist. Dad was career military; husband is very anti-war. But once you get past those differences, they’re quite similar. They’re both gentle, principled, quiet men who love books and children. They’re both a little shy in person. They’re both very family-oriented. They both have a strong sense of right and wrong. I’m lucky to have the two of them in my life.
My ex husband was very much like my father. Everything had to be done his way and when he wanted it. If I did something without asking permission or talking to him about it, he would get really upset.
2 examples. 1) He was out of town and I rented a PPV movie. I think it was something stupid like a Tom Cruise movie or something. When he got the bill weeks later he got upset because I didn’t ask him first and he hadn’t worked the 5 extra dollars into the budget. Together we made something like 140,000 dollars a year. 5 dollars shouldn’t have mattered in “Budget Land”.
- We went to the movies one day and he went to get the tickets from the kiosk. He asked me what I was going to get at the food stand thingy and I spouted off what we normally get to share. Medium Pop Corn. Medium drink. Well went I got up there, they were having a special for a DOLLAR more you could get a large of each. So I made the exectietive decsion to upgrade. When I met him in the theator he flipped out on me infront of everyone because I didn’t get what we had agreed on.
Control issues. My father is the same way. My mother always asks before doing something and often “dumbs” herself down so that my father can look good.
And my dad is a cop, so I have a thing for guys in marine uniforms and police officer uniforms. And the short crew cut hair. Yum.
Though as much as I love my father, he isn’t the healthiest person to “date”. So I tend to use him as the, “who not to date” example.
But… then you were never born!
I’m a lady but I’ve dated my mother. Probably because I’m like my father.
I tend to date intelligent, strong-willed women. (Great!)
Who also have borderline personality disorder. (Bad!)
In those ways, yeah, I suppose I do date my mom. However, in many other ways I tend to go for women quite unlike my mom… none of the women I’ve dated have been physically similar to her, they have political beliefs diametrically opposed to hers, completely different religious beliefs.
Good lord no! I love my folks, but we are very dissimilar. I would not be able to be with a woman who was much like either of them.
Neither.
(If I was gay) Mom was pretty when she was younger, but a total band geek. And smoker. Got decent grades, but not intellegent. I’ll give her that it seems like she was a hard worker. Dad says she liked to talk about herself a lot. All in all, we wouldn’t have gotten along.
Dad, as much as I love him now, hell no. He was attractive (cross country runner) but that’s where the interest stops. Total car dude, pot head, slacker, michief maker with his band of buddies. He’s a great guy and a cool dad now and it’s really interesting to hear of his past hijinks, but had I met him in high school I wouldn’t have touched him with a nine foot pole.
Fun thread. Time to go fetch the brain bleach…
I really admire my dad and take after him in a lot of ways myself, so in searching out someone who’s compatible with me, it’s hard not to end up dating someone who shares some traits with my father.
Actually, in a lot of the areas where my boyfriend and I differ, I take after my father, while in a lot of the areas where my father and I differ, my boyfriend and I are on the same page. (My dad and I love weekend projects, my boyfriend hates them; my boyfriend and I are atheists, my dad’s a theist.) That’s interesting, now that I think about it.
My wife is VERY much like my mother personality-wise. So much so that my father laughed his ass off the first time he met her. He kept saying, “That’s just what your mother would have done!”
Too bad mom passed away before I met wifey; they would have been great friends.
Not so much. My mother is far more creative than anyone I’ve ever dated. She is also much more of a neat freak. But everyone I date is nice to a fault, and are very gentle souls, much like mom. Most were really introverted, unlike mom, who makes friends with everybody. My current GF differs in that regard.
No. My Dad is a short, elderly Japanese man who’s very passive-aggressive and uncommunicative. Never dated anyone like that, and I married a very tall, gentle, assertive, chatty guy. I do love my Dad, but I would hate to be married to him.
My mom’s a bit of a tomboy and my wife is queen of the tomboys. They get along very well.
I never met her dad (He died several years before we dated.) but she has told me that I’m like he was in many ways. The main difference being that he was very extroverted and I lean toward introverted.
My husband and my dad are (were - Dad’s gone) physically almost the same size. And every once in a while, my spousal unit will do something that is eerily like something my dad had done. But that’s where the similarity ends.
My dad was a very impatient man, a fairly heavy drinker, very meticulous, but occasionally lacking what I might have thought was common knowledge.
My husband is mostly patient, hardly ever drinks, is very meticulous about some things and a slob about others, but he’s quick on his feet, and I know if we’re ever in an emergency situation, I can trust him implicitly. He’s also very affectionate, where Dad was less so. Plus my sweetie is going bald, and Dad never did.
Hmmmm…
Looks and ethnicity-wise, no. Through some joke of fate, I’ve only dated Asian women. My mom is Irish/Italian.
Personality-wise… kinda I guess. The woman I date do tend to be worrywarts. My mom probably has generalized anxiety disorder. My mom is kind and creative, and usually so are my girlfriends. Still, I’ve never got the impression “omg this woman is just like my mom!” so I don’t stress about it.
The one thing I DO stress over is that I tend to treat my girlfriends like mother figures. They don’t resemble my mom in a large way, but I can sometimes treat them as if they were a parent, partly because all my GFs have been rougly 8-10 years older than me as well. According to my current GF, I’m better now.
Not really, although sometimes my husband will say something that strikes me as exactly like something my Dad would say.
He, on the other hand, married a gal just like the gal who married dear old Dad, and I often wonder if he realizes it.
That doesn’t work for me at all–my Dad had a beard most of my growing up and I have never been attracted to bearded men. Moustache is kinda pushing it–both of types better be well groomed and without food particles! (Dad’s was clean, btw).
My Dad is over 6 ft, bearded (or was), bald, trim. The Husband is 5’9", cleanshaven, stockier build and balding.
Well, the balding is the same. In personality, though, they do share similarities, which I won’t bore anyone with. My dad is more pompous.
I have dated my brother (not in actuality, but a guy who I couldn’t figure out who he reminded me of until it hit me).
No, and it pisses off my mother to no end.
Daddy is a short, clean shaven, calm, introverted aerospace engineer.
Ex#1 is tall, bearded, blue collar, wild-child with issues. Ex #2 was short, bearded, crazy, and rather stupid.
Hubby (aka Giant freakin Marine) is a tall, mustachioed, boisterous, extroverted cowboy/marine/civil engineer.