Well damn. Guess I’ve been sexually assaulted many times then.
Once when I was married, my wife came home drunk from being out with her friends. I was asleep and she woke me up because she was horny. I didn’t really want to, because I was tired, and a little pissed off because she was out later than she said and no calls or anything. I kept telling her “No” but she kept insisting until I finally gave in just to shut her up.
Depends on a lot of things, but mostly on your own feelings and interpretations. Do you think it was sexual assault? Did you feel violated, and/or that your body and boundaries were disrespected? If not, then I would defer to your judgment, since it was your own experience and no one can better interpret your experiences than you.
A wife/girlfriend/date who does this while making out? No.
It depends on the circumstances. In most cases other than the 2nd and similar, I would probably characterize it as sexual assault, but there might be exceptions.
Not that sexual assault is “whatever you conceive to be sexual assault”, mind you.
I am not a victim of sexual assault if I walk down main street and decide that I feel sexually assaulted because there are people and they’re breathing my air.
But I’m not necessarily a victim of sexual assault if someone is doing things that appear to cross my personal boundaries and those things are sexually provocative or signal sexual aggression or whatever.
But if they do fit that description to a reasonable degree and I experience it as unwanted, invasive, unwelcome violation, then it’s sexual assault.
At a New Years Eve party, a close friend, our neighbor, came up, grabbed me and kissed me for about 5 seconds. My wife and I are very close friends with her and her husband. She was a bit drunk. I guess by strict definition it would be sexual assault, but I don’t think her intentions were wanting to lead somewhere else. It made me a bit uncomfortable. I told my wife about it in the car ride home, she laughed!
For your daughter’s sake, please get yourself educated . You’re making a lot of unfounded assumptions that you’re treating as fact. Example: You’re assuming rape is rare in your area when it may well be that REPORTING rape is rare.
Something else to consider is that when you’re faced with possible death, people will do whatever they need to do to increase their odds of survival, including trying to placate their attackers. Your daughter is afraid for very valid reasons. Try going from the assumption that if she has such pervasive fears, there must be good reason. Believe me, most women have the same fears.
P.S. Fighting back doesn’t always work. I did, and it didn’t.
It’s happened on several occasions, but the the one time I’m recalling was at a party. She was basically letting me know she was interested if I was. I had no problem with her forwardness.
Most recently, I was exiting a store and a young guy asked me if I had a light. Took a second to understand what he was asking for. I said “No, I don’t smoke”
I was walking away and he said, “Yeah lady, you’re smokin’ hot”. I just kept walking. I considered that a type of harassment.
Another time, I was given a plaque and a check for painting the school mascot on the gym floor. The whole time working on it I was crawling around on my knees. I was catcalled and rude remarks hollered out by young teen boys. I told an administrator. He referred me to the boys P.E. coach who stared at my boobs the whole time we were talking. He actually told me I shouldn’t dress so suggestivly where young men were. I wore sweat pants and tee-shirts. Knee pads on my knees and ugly crocs that I only wear for painting. Not ‘sexy’ clothing, at all.
After the reveal and the plaque giving thing I was walking out when the P.E. coach was behind me, he whistled and said rather loudly, “See, it didn’t kill you!”
I spun around and was ‘frozen’ as Nellie described, for a few seconds. I realized I was all alone on that side of the school with him. My car was really close, I ‘accidentally’ hit the alarm on my fob and got to the car and left. I felt threatened, while not actually assaulted.
I certainly see how it could’ve been much worse.
When I was in 1st grade a girl in my class had a habit of trying to put her finger in other people’s butts through their clothes. When she did it to me I told the teacher and I don’t know what happened to her but it didn’t ever happen to me again, and my family moved after that year and I went to 2nd grade at a different school.
In hindsight as an adult remembering, it’s pretty obvious that someone was probably abusing that girl, and I’m hoping someone back then realized this, but I’ll never know.