Upon reading a friend’s Facebook post I realized that yes, yes I was sexually assaulted as a teenager.
A trusted baseball coach tried to have his way with me twice: once on a camping trip and another time when he came to my house to deliver a trophy. In both instances he groped my penis. I can’t put it any more eloquently.
I’m really just cluing in to how pervasive sexual assault is in our society. And yes, I understand it’s probably 100 times worse for women.
I had a couple of weird interactions, which I have described in another thread somewhere, but never anything more than a creepy feeling about the other parties (both teachers).
A woman in a club in Mazatlan walked up to me, grabbed my crotch, held it for a couple of seconds, and walked away. As a man bigger and stronger than her I didn’t feel violated; also as a man I felt disappointed and slightly inadequate.
I’ve been pinched, groped and what-have-you in bars by women, so technically yes. But I’m well over 6 ft tall, and 210 lbs, so I never felt the least bit threatened. Annoyed, sometimes, when the women were drunk and the advances were unwelcome, but that about it.
Closer, but probably not actual assault, was the episode I described in this thread where my HS gym coach got a little too personal with me back when I was about 15.
A male friend in high-school just couldn’t keep his hands off me, and was very aggressive physically. However, framing it with the term Sexual Assault was not in use at the time.
I was raped by my older brother was I was about 12. He’s only four years older, but was at least average for his age and had already gone through adolescence where I was a scrawny little prepubescent kid. Didn’t have much luck resisting.
He also raped our younger brother and several other kids. My parents definitely did not want to address the issue.
I finally confronted him a dozen years ago, or so, and he didn’t apologize, but wanted sympathy instead. “Tokyo, you can’t believe the pain that caused me over the years,” were his exact words.
I told him to fuck off and we haven’t spoken since.
I’ve had my ass grabbed, my butt smacked, and my breasts squeezed. At the time (I was younger) I didn’t consider it assault…just an annoyance. The butt smacking happened at work about 25 years ago and when I yelped, the guy laughed, waved his hands, and said, “oooh, sexual harassment!” To which I responded, “No, you ass, that hurt!”
Looking back I suppose I should have brought it to someone’s attention, but he slunk off and never bothered me again.
This kind of thing too. I didn’t consider it to rise to the level of an assault either. The power differential was merely physical, and all in my favor. The closest thing that I would consider to a meaningful sexual assault was rather ludicrous, involving a drunk woman I was repulsed by, in an odd situation, and luckily another woman there came to my aid and put an end to it before I had to take any action. I mention that because there are probably women put in that situation often, and a at a real disadvantage against a larger man, and even complaining about later having their own motivations questioned. Frankly, in this respect, men are fucking cowardly swine, and an embarrassment to the rest of us who are at least well behaved animals.
I can easily conceive of a spectrum of reason that this answer is given:
[ul]
[li]In some very traditional non-western cultures, females and males are not ever in a situation that would allow for non-consentual contact.[/li][li]The definition of non-consentual contact is prone to a personal definition. Not everyone has the same text book definition.[/li][li]The intensity of the sense of victimhood. Different individuals would consider the same experiences anywhere from not worth remembering, to leaving life-long scars.[/li][li]Just lucky, I guess.[/li][/ul]
I’m a male, I’ve been involuntarily groped by an ex so I guess that would technically be assault, but I didn’t feel at all threatened or consider it assault. I just wanted her off my porch mostly.
I answered “no,” (male) but it really depends on how you define it. I mean, I’ve had a bartender pinch my ass uninvited, and a colleague come up to me at a party and spontaneously lick me, when I had no interest in her, but, well, that’s not something I personally think of as sexual assault, but I can perhaps see in another situation that it would be. Oh, wait, I did have a guy lick my neck once, too, (what is it with people licking me?) at the end of a night out. That was skeevy (some random dude I met on the street and went out drinking with), but I’m not sure it quite crosses the line for me, as I wasn’t particularly intimidated by him.
Yes. Date raped once, randomly groped at parties and in crowds numerous times and violent assault and battery raped once. After the date rape I stopped being so trusting at being alone with men and after the violent rape I refuse to be quiet about it. I also am more careful about watching other women’s drinks in parties and bars, and will offer to give them rides home even if they are with a date. [I was slightly drunk, and got a ride home from the guy I was dating, and he walked me to the door even though I told him he didn’t need to, he pushed his way in, trapped me against a kitchen counter and sucker punched me in the middle of my back to disable me as he stripped off my underwear and did me while held down on the counter. ]
And my advice to all females of reproductive age, whether dating or not - GET AN IUD OR THE SHOT, because a rapist doesn’t care if you want him to use a condom. It isnt’ always about his getting laid, it is a power play.