Have you ever been sexually assaulted?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I spent 11 years on active duty in the Navy - from '73 thru '84. In '81, I went to my first sexual harassment training, so prior to that, it wasn’t even recognized officially. At the time, I considered the several occurrences to be creepy guys “bothering” me but, yeah, it was assault. Not rape, but definitely unwanted physical contact of a decidedly sexual nature.

I used to be shy so I didn’t know how to respond other than backing away. I wish I’d been taught how to stand up against such stuff, but I wasn’t traumatized. Unfortunately, I accepted that “boys will be boys” back in those days.

22

I have had women grab my butt, never my crotch, and I’ve had women stroke my face, arms or chest, clearly as a sign of interest but never in a manner that I would classify as assault. I’ve also had a couple of gay men seemingly express interest but they never touched me or made any unmistakable gesture.

23

Male, age 2, please don’t use your imagination, but it set me up for multiple abuses later in life in searching for Love due to love mapping effect. Will I say that God healed me of that, this is not Great Debates, so witnessing is not a explicitly approved post, but I can say that what helped me is the universal truths (any religion, any faith) Search and you shall find. Yes my path came though Christianity, though the healing comes through God which does not recognize religion, but recognizes our seeking.

24

ah you men being groped and what not…aww :D:D and are you all just jumping on the bandwagon because one man proclaimed their “violated body”

“running fast out of the thread” :smack::eek:

25

Is she speaking for herself or is that directed at the population in general?I like Oprah for the most part but that is some bullshit right there. Or she has a *really *broad definition of sexual assault.

26

Not sure if I would call it sexual harrassment, but I have had my butt slapped hard by a women in passing on a staircase. Kind of embarrassing since my father was present.

27

In that case, I don’t think there’s a woman alive who has never been sexually assaulted.

Yes, I have been. More times than I can count.

28

Shucks, that plus “sloppily kissed by drunken women who didn’t have my consent” is pretty much my experience, too; maybe I’ve been sexually assaulted? And there are probably more events that aren’t yet coming to mind; who knows?

29

I’ll admit that I am a woman who has not been sexually molested or assaulted. I think my imposing size, my androgynous looks and my lack of use of public transportation has contributed to my avoidance of such a situation. And really, thank Og that I have had no issues with family members or people close to me (which is as much of a source as strangers on the street).

I did turn in a co-worker once for passing around a printout of a scantily-clad model, to be told “don’t worry about it/boys will be boys” but the co-worker did stop doing it after that.

30

No, but I once managed to talk myself out of a possible situation that in retrospect could have been classed as sexual assault.

31

I voted yes because I was raped multiple times by my father when I was young. Still want to stick with those “smilies”?

32

I am a woman, and I’m not sure. When I was 15, I was very aggressively hit on, including some touching that was not grabbing breasts or anything, just rubbing my back, but definitely meant to be suggestive, by a creep who was at the very youngest, in his late 20s. He could have been in his 30s.

Now, at age 15, I was 5’3 and a C cup. I was also wearing a university sweatshirt, and in the stacks of a university library. I was frequently mistaken for a university student when I was on campus, and so he easily could have thought I was 18 or 19. That makes it still a little creepy, but not child molestation.

If he had been a teacher doing that to me in my high school, I would say that I had been assaulted, but as it is, I think I was just hit on by an unusually creepy guy, who, FWIW, took “No” for an answer when I spelled it out. He wasn’t getting me walking to the other side of the library, or moving his hand off me as “No.” I had to actually say “No, leave me alone.”

As an adult in college, I met a couple of people in their 20s who had stories of making passes at people on campus they assumed to be college students, only to find out they were high school students, before anything went anywhere, and these were nice people, so I know mistakes happen.

But, I think if this guy had made a pass at me in a bar when I was 21, I would have found him skeevy. It wouldn’t have been assault, though.

Still, it’s possible he knew how old I was, and at any rate, I was 15. So he did hit on a child.

I don’t really know what to call it.

33

I would say that counts, but it’s your call.

And as far as the poll, yes. Too many times. Working on fixing the issue in one organization now :slight_smile:

34

I should have added, for everyone that said yes, including Leaffan:

I see you.
I believe you.
None of it was your fault.
Whatever you feel about it, is normal. There is no right or wrong way to feel about it.
You are not alone.

Anyone that needs to reach out, feel free to PM.

35

Yeah, you should run. That’s a pretty asshole thing to say.

36

I was about 15 and a majorette in the marching band and our Band Director gave me this big speech about how he thought I would be perfect to play the kettle drums in the off-season concert band, so he offered to teach me. His lessons consisted of getting behind me and wrapping his arms around me while holding the drum beater things (you see I really learned a lot) and pressing his crotch into my back. I just quit going.

Around the same age, I recall some boys thinking it was great fun at the roller skating rink to fly by the girls, while skating in the opposite direction and “grab us by the pussy”. Same mess went on in the hallways at school.

Thank goodness I have never been raped.

I do think I talked my way out of a very sketchy situation one time about 4 years ago right after my divorce. I was old enough to know better, but somewhat pissed at myself for putting myself in that situation. In the end my motor mouth saved me, so I am also proud of myself for thinking on my feet.

37

From an extremely early age, I’ve always had an image in my mind, sort of like a snapshot, of my father’s erection, up close. From time to time over the years, this image would randomly pop into my mind. It never occurred to me until I was 40 to ask myself where this image came from, where I could have experienced a close up viewing of my father’s erection. It’s not the sort of thing that a very young child could just make up in his mind. So I concluded that the only possible explanation for it was sexual abuse at a very early age. He was physically, verbally and emotionally abusive, so it makes sense.

38

You’re receiving a warning for threadshitting, made that much more egregious by your acknowledgement that your comment had no place here. Do not post in this thread again.

39

In my early teens I was attacked by a large gang (mixed male and female) of maybe a dozen older kids on the school playing field - they dragged me by my legs some distance across the field behind a wooded area, then four of them pinned me down on my back by my arms and legs, then they and some of the others tore off my clothes whilst the rest of the gang jeered, laughed and mocked my naked form.

I reported the incident immediately to the deputy headmaster, but in the social climate of that time, I was pretty much told that I would be considered a troublemaker if I didn’t just let it go.

40

This. For women, it pretty much goes with being around men. You do your best to avoid it but it is so pervasive you can’t always.

If you are a man, the only way getting groped by a drunk lady in a bar would be assault would be if she outweighed you by a hundred pounds and squashed you against the wall and did whatever she felt like to you while you tried helplessly to get away, then laughed triumphantly in your face and walked off to brag to her equally large friends who all also laughed at your distress and shame. That would be assault. I would imagine few adult men have had this experience.