I went to the Esalen Institute once, which has clothing-optional hot spring baths. Richard Feynman went there a few times. Beautiful area.
Arriving felt a little Eyes Wide Shut, or something. We parked outside and waited in the dark for a while. Someone came out with a flashlight and let us into the grounds. Most of it was quite dark (moonlight) so there really wasn’t much to see in the way of naughty bits.
I’m confused. Did you go to actually use the hot tubs, or did you just go to ogle the naked people?
I wasn’t there to ogle. But if I had, it would have been a bad place to do it. Frankly, I suspect most clothing-optional places are bad for ogling.
There are a couple of places in town that I have gone to, sometimes with My Beloved and sometimes with a group of friends that have worked for Darklady at her various events-the Darklings. No hanky panky, no staring…and a realization that there is a certain equality in public nudity.
In my experience, there is the usual variety of humans. One father and his teenaged sons were fit and exceptionally well endowed, but while I’m sure everyone could tell, it just wasn’t salient in the situation, and any reaction would have been unpardonably anti-social.
The thing people don’t seem to get about non-sexual nudity is that it is non-sexual, exactly as sexual as a department store or church service.
My experience in clothing optional places is that the people would have looked better with clothes on. But also, it was nonsexual, and that wasn’t terribly important. Just like it’s not terribly important if your barista has some ugly pimples on their face.
I’ve refrained from posting in this thread since it was asking specifically about CO hot tubs, but with the inevitable thread drift, I feel more comfortable chiming in. I have never gone to a CO public hot tub, but I have been to public baths in Japan which were all single-sex. Let me tellya, there’s nothing interesting about seeing your grandfather’s junk. Besides, as other have noted, public baths in Japan fit a different niche than CO almost anything else in the world, so it’s not really germane.
I’ve also visited quite a few CO beaches. For those people who say that most people who go to CO beaches are not the kind of people you want to see naked (or similar sentiments), I’m going to call it out: That is body shaming. Old, fat, skinny, flabby, fit, or whatever - it’s really none of your business. I would guess that most visitors to CO beaches aren’t doing it for you and your prurient interests, but because they like it for themselves. Are there exhibitionists in CO places? Of course. I have not taken a poll, but my guess is that the exhibitionists are in the minority.
It’s not “body shaming" to say that most people look better with their clothes on. That’s one of the things clothing is designed for, ya know? Also, i swim in the nude every morning when i vacation in NH. It’s not really a “clothing optional" event, because it’s just me, i don’t usually see anyone else except sometimes my husband. I’m certainly not doing it to show off my body. Partly, i am rinsing myself clean (no soap allowed, but I do remove most of the dried sweat) and partly, i like the feel of flowing water against my skin.
I’m not so sure. I recognize that the people who say this probably include themselves in it, and aren’t objecting to any particular body type – but it still carries a general sense of “human bodies are ugly”. I grant that cats are prettier; but I don’t think humans are ugly.
I have stayed out of hot tubs since someone’s shit was in the jets and I didn’t notice until it was too late.
Then what is it?
An ordinary opinion? Body shaming is mocking some individual person or class of people for their bodies. A generalized belief that bodies are kinda ugly isn’t body shaming.
About a decade ago me and my then-girlfriend got some tickets from the relatives for a super fancy spa/resort in California so we both went as an anniversary trip.
They had a huge in-door bath and multiple hot tubs, so we both show up at the front door to the baths and the woman at the counter handing out towels happily told us “This is clothing optional so you’re free to take everything off here and place it in the lockers right nearby”. Took one look at my girlfriend and she had an absolute look of shock on her face, she got super embarrassed and hurriedly said “No thanks I’m comfortable with what I’m wearing" and we both walked in and saw a bunch of naked people everywhere. She then said “I guess we’ll just do the couples massage instead”, which was a bit ironic since we were both nude for the couples massage but at least we had a single towel covering our butts.
Sure, if you believe that ALL bodies are ugly.
Having a scale of attractiveness is also not body shaming. Nor is not wanting to see people naked because they fall below some attractiveness threshold.
I don’t mock or insult people for their bodies. Aside from that, I have no obligations.
I spent some time skiing in Japan, and we visited the onsen twice every day. Clothing isn’t allowed and none of us had a problem with it.
I’ve also visited my share of remote hot springs where most folks didn’t wear clothes. No big deal if you wanted to wear clothes but most folks didn’t.
Body shaming is suggesting that people ought to be different. They should try harder to look good. There’s something wrong with them they way they are.
Is it body shaming to say, “i like your new haircut"? After all, you are suggesting they didn’t look as good until they got the haircut.
Yes, i certainly look better with my clothes on. At least, it depends on the outfit, but i certainly can look better dressed than naked. Clothes are designed to flatter bodies. It’s only remarkable because we’re conditioned to think nudity is sexy.
And yet, i am hoping to have another opportunity to bathe in a public onsen when i visit Japan this fall. And I’m not even a little worried about looking old and fat while i do it. I’m actually pretty happy with my body, which works well for my age.
I attended a party given by my doctoral advisor’s son. There was a hot tub, and while I was sitting there someone shouted “Party Naked!”, and suddenly I was surrounded by naked people.
It was a sort of awkward situation, since it was my advisor’s house. Should I strip, too?
I took off my bathing suit. But I stayed in the hot tub.
I’ve spent time at clothing optional places. And the question about whether people look better naked may not be body-shaming, but I think it’s missing the point. It’s not about your gaze at all. The question is whether they feel better naked. An opinion about how they look is completely unwelcome, IMO.
Telling a person that their body looks better clothed would be unfathomably rude. But everyone has the right to an opinion. Functioning adults can have opinions about things without sharing them with the people they’re about, or at all.