I agree with the Sorbitol thing. In fact, Starburst has a lot of sorbitol, eat enough of those and everything in your colon gets bulldozed out pretty quick! 
Because the doctor’s orders didn’t say to take laxatives, let alone candy.
And some of us can eat all that and never even fart. Back in the day I could eat entire bags of Olestra potato chips and nary a rumble. I’ve been eating Atkins candy for a year and it hasn’t affected me in the least.
Your doctor has eleven feet - and sticks them up your ass…!??
Your doctor has eleven feet? How does he smell???
wait…I told the joke wrong
No, no, no.
You mean, ‘how do his feet smell?’
jka responds: ‘what, after they’ve been up my ass?’
let’s do it!
(hell, it’s Friday and I’m going home early…)
No, he has thirteen feet, but he needed two to remain standing. And yes, up my ass. Lucky for you there are no photos.
>Have you ever had an Enema?
With friends like these?
Starburst is a laxative?
Is that how it got it’s name?
I was in the hospital for an unidentified stomach thing once and I had one. Well, two. Read on.
It was mild and I felt good afterwards (not good like the stomach thing went away, but good like I just took a huge crap). I was about 18.
Anyway – here’s the full story. So, I lie on my side (and “relax”) and they get about a liter of warm liquid up there and say “hold it in for as long as you can then go on this toilet”. they brought in one of those plastic ones – they want to look at it, I guess.
So, I hold it in. This whole time I feel like I need to go REAL bad. Lots of pressure from the threshhold to the stomach. So I go, and it’s about equivalent to like 10 shits. It’s all gooped together though (not separate logs) and it smells different – more like bile than poo.
THEN, I start to wipe. And I wipe, and wipe. I need to get the cheeks, the balls, everything, and I think I’m probably still dripping because it never stops. I also threw all the paper into that plastic toilet – a mistake.
So, I get back in bed, signal the nurse and she wheels the toilet out of there.
She comes back in a few minutes later. And tells me they have to do another one and tells me, “this time don’t throw the paper in the bucket.” I take this to implicitly mean, “we need to look at your poo but we’re not going to sort through 20 layers of used TP to do it.”
So, same thing. The remarkable thing is that its like 10 shits all over again, only this time its got to be from WAY up there. It’s completely unformed, smells way more like bile than poo and just keeps coming. I wonder how it all fit in me.
So, I finish then go wipe in the bathroom this time.
End of story.
Hah! Genius! So glad I opened this thread.
I will never eat a Chocolate Starburst…
This is because intestinal contractions can stimulate/cause uterine contractions at the end of pregnancy. But this will only work if your body was ready anyway.
TMI of course.
During my last pregnancy, I was on bedrest for nearly 3 months. Pregnancy itself can cause constipation, and lack of activity itself can cause it. Add to that the medication I was taking for nausea right up through week 34 (Zofran) which has constipation as a side effect, and I wound up using a (reusable rubber) enema as often as 3X/week (along with up to 400mg/day of those Ducoset gels) just so I wouldn’t make my hemarrhoids worse, and so I wouldn’t have to strain against an already-incompetent cervix.
I learned very very quickly not to use the saline disposable kind. I think it was the hemarrhoids, but the second time I used the saline it hurt so bad I broke out in a cold sweat and literally shook from the pain. Plain warm water didn’t do that. I was very grateful to have the option (which my doctor even allowed, despite the risk of triggering uterine contractions, because the benefit to not being impacted was greater).
But I never found it sexual, or even pleasant except in the “Whew, relief” manner.
Has hernia surgery years ago. The nurse advised me of the need to do this, so I managed matters on my own, no need to invite a stranger to stuff things in my butthole.
Whilst feeling the commuter train of effluent flow from my bowels, I realized why that stainless steel grip bar is positioned adjacent to the toilet: it is your one and only means of reassurance that you will not inadvertently become shat inside out.
I swear that I saw ear wax and hair buds at the end of my offering. :eek:
Especially if you are a preteen boy laying naked over mommy’s lap getting the enema. Boy tend to get erections from the enema.
Moderating:
Your post is noot a good reason to reopen this thread. Take your enema fantasies elsewhere.