My mom was dying. She insisted that my brother and sister go downstairs to the cafeteria, and then repeatedly made me assure her that no one was in the hospital room with us. She motioned for me to come closer that she had a secret to tell me. She was mumbling so fast that I couldn’t understand her … she said the same sentence repeatedly, and became more and more frustrated when I said I couldn’t understand her. The next morning, she passed away. My sister was upset when I told her what happened, it seemed because she wasn’t included. I told her it was probably because the secret was about me only, and it would then be up to me if I shared it with any one. But it has been three years and my sister still has no interest in discussing what the secret may have been.
My mom said what sounded like “black purse”, but when I showed her her purse, which was white, she shook her head and said no, no. She shook her head also just to the word purse. Then she hurriedly said about 20 syllables that I could not understand because she was rushing the words together while mumbling. Then ended it every time with something like “my will” or “'against my will”. Wasn’t sure which way to take the meaning of the word “will”.
My aunt, my father’s sister, had once told me she knew a secret, but if she told me, my mother would be so upset with her that she would never speak to her again. My mom was the last of her generation, so I have no one to ask questions of. I have one older cousin, but she says she doesn’t know anything.
I have run many scenarios through my head, but no way of knowing if any are plausible. I tell myself to just forget about it, but obviously, it was my mom’s deathbed wish that I know … so I still wonder about it.