My sister called her wedding off less than one week before. She and her then-fiancé had flown from the US to England where they were to get married, all the venues were booked, many guests were in place in hotels. Turns out she accepted, but changed her mind, but by that time the family-and-friends wedding arrangements boulder was rolling, and she felt pressured to go through with it anyway. Just days before the event she had a tearful chat with my other sister, who told her she should follow her heart. So she did.
I found out some time afterwards that when they arrived in England they’d had a huge argument, and he’d punched her in the face. And it wasn’t the first time he’d hit her. So she made the right decision.
My cousin’s son and his fiancee were set to get married. Family was in from all over the country. The night before the wedding, they told everyone that they weren’t sure they wanted to go through with it. They considered it a Sacrament and a one-shot deal and wanted to be sure they were doing the right thing. The family basically supported their decision, better than a divorce two years down the road. Six months later they did marry and now, about 10 years later, have 4 kids and seem very happy.
I was at a wedding of friends where the worried-looking groom made a quick pass through the room where the guests were seated, right before the ceremony was to begin. Turns out the bride had not changed her mind, she was just not in the expected place, but for a minute there, the guests (and groom!) were kind of nervous about whether or not the wedding was going to happen.
For future reference, anytime you receive an invitation an RSVP is expected and the proper thing to do, regardless of if you’re attending or not and even if the invitation doesn’t say specifically, and even if there’s not an RSVP card included.
Numbers of guests need to be confirmed with venues, planners, caterers, etc. It’s quite rude to just show up (although I suppose in your case the only person hurt by your inattention was you.)
Let’s see if I can explain her. On one hand she’s, as a person, very career-oriented. She lives for her work and then some. On the other hand, she’s convinced that a woman’s place is hiding behind her husband, holding his glowing halo up. It’s like she’s never really stopped to think about what is it she wants from life; she, not her parents, her priest, or the feral cat licking himself at the corner.
She officially lives at her parents: I say officially because, being a consultant, she spends a lot more time “away” than “at home.” The living with the parents part isn’t uncommon for an unmarried Spaniard, even in her mid-30s. She’s been “searching for a flat” for eight years. When she started looking for it, she was engaged; after two years of never seeing one she considered even semi-acceptable, her fiancee broke off the relationship. She’s still “searching for a flat,” but she’s searching for the perfect flat and the perfect husband and a way to keep up a 60-70 h/wk work schedule while being the perfect Stepford wife and having three children in four years without carnal knowledge… I’ve never met the guy, but talk about “dodging a bullet.” An ICM, more like!
Interesting turn of phrase there (underline mine).
How on earth did they leave without anyone from the other family noticing? I mean, inevitably in a hotel full of wedding guests, someone is going to recognize someone else sneaking about, bags packed at 11pm. They REALLY must have waited until the middle of the night to bolt. How utterly cowardly and absurd.
Poor guy! Worst part of it is is that he was the only one panicky. Was he able to enjoy/remember the ceremony?
Oh sure, as soon as he realized I was coming from the other side of the room, he was fine. I am quite sure had the situation been reversed everyone would have known I was freaking out, but Mr. Cool as a Cucumber just panicked very quietly and no one even realized.
A very good friend of mine was engaged. Invitations went out, some gifts arrived early and then a week or so before D-Day, he bugs out. Turns out he had been two-timing her with a married woman. She divorced her hubby, married him and about five years later, two-times him with another guy.
Meanwhile, my friend found a really nice guy and married him. They’re going strong.
Well, we’ve got the relaxed zombie rules, and I have to respond to this. How the heck can you RSVP without the card? That’s the number you’re supposed to call.
And, really, most of the rules people have grown up with are not practiced nearly as often in this age where your wedding invitation may come through Facebook. If you want the old-fashioned rules, you really need to be clear about it.
If you don’t know their phone number, there’s a return address on the invitation. Write them a little note saying yes/no.
The etiquette rule on this used to be that it was terribly tacky and even insulting to include a RSVP card, because you were assuming/insinuating that the recipient owned no personal stationery, or couldn’t be trusted to respond without the card being provided.