I was using primarily as a means of keeping touch with a large extended family and friends I don’t really care enough to email, but lately haven’t been bothering. I rarely if ever post anything and usually comment. My extended family has transitioned over to Whatsapp. We have a family group set up and most stuff goes there now. I’ve noticed that most of them have shifted away from things like Facebook altogether and post pretty infrequently.
I find this odd, because it’s not the first time I’ve read this viewpoint, that people post happy statuses and pictures to make their life seem great. But, well, to be totally honest, I kind of wish that’s what people did, because it’s not what I see happening. I have Facebook friends that will absolutely post when they’re feeling lonely, frustrated, sad, stressed out, etc. The worst is when it’s that cryptic sort of message, like “Some people really need to shut the fuck up” or something like that.
I am of the opinion that if you’re upset about something, you should talk to a close friend about it. If your Facebook friend list is limited to your closest friends, then that’s fine. But I think it’s a little tacky to post your personal struggles for all of your casual acquaintances from college and work and that party last Sunday to see.
But to answer the question posed in the thread title, no, I’ve never stopped using social media because it makes me feel bad, nor have I ever felt inclined to.
All the comments have been interesting, but this one especially.
It seems to me that some people use Facebook as an extended Christmas card. Christmas cards are a way of staying in touch with people, and the way you typically do that is by sharing the highlights of the year. Facebook is a way of showing the highlights of the day, or the week, or whatever.
But I guess I don’t understand why the “highlights” are more useful to staying in touch than the “lowlights”. Not the spontaneous rants about your morning stuck in rush hour traffic. But if you’re sick or grieving a loved one, seems to me that those are just as meaningful to people who supposedly care about you as pictures of your children kicking a ball down a field are.
If you aren’t sharing your Facebook page with people who care about you, people who WON’T judge you negatively for being honest about what’s happening in your life (instead of putting on a happy face all the time), well, I guess I don’t see what the point is.
I could see someone thinking that their friends are more likely to respond to a sad-sack Facebook posting than an email or voicemail. I know that whenever I reach out to people to have an actual conversation, I usually have to wait a day or two before they get back to me. And then the conversation gets cut short because they’ve got to run. It’s funny that we’ve got all these different forms of communication at our avail nowadays, but it seems that it’s harder to actually reach people.
To put it on context, I have had a Facebook account for ten years. I don’t have TONS of friends, but I do have several hundred, and the Facebook friends are a mish-mash of people from elementary school, high school, college, jobs I’ve held, parties I’ve been to, etc.
They are not all close friends. I don’t unfriend them, because I think it can be fun to see what people from my past are up to on a very basic level. Things like how the nerdy boy from elementary school is now hot, or the coworker who was working through grad school graduated recently. I’m not particularly sympathetic if nerdy boy from elementary school did poorly on his accounting final and is sad that he doesn’t have a girlfriend to console him.
As for my close friends where I really do care about their little frustrations in life, I would much rather they reach out to me personally, and vent to me in a one-on-one conversation. That’s what I like to do. For instance, when my grandfather died earlier this year, I did not post anything on Facebook, but I reached out to several of my closer friends via e-mail, IM, phone, or in person to get friendship and support.
Now, I suppose if you didn’t HAVE anyone you felt close enough to then broadcasting things publicly would be your only option, but even there, I feel that you’re perpetuating the problem. Friendships burgeon when an acquaintance turns to you for support; it’s when a person shows their vulnerable side to you that you can develop a unique and special friendship. But when you’re laying yourself bare to everyone on the Internet, you’re not really laying the groundwork for personalized friendships with individuals.
Disclaimer: I am not perfect about this myself. I do sometimes take to Facebook to vent about how I’m upset or frustrated.
I wonder if young people are more likely to interface with friends SOLEY through social media than older people are, and whether this is problematic when it comes to being unable to distinguish “public-facing facade” from reality.
I imagine if most of your interaction with friends is exchanging pictures on Facebook rather than hanging out with them in an intimate way, then you aren’t going to feel comfortable unburdening your soul to them, even on those occasions when you do have their ear.
I don’t exactly “do” Facebook – I follow the news feed,have no Facebook friends and have dropped a couple of forums.
I read here,and at a couple of other sites…