One of my best friends was opposite to me in many ways.
I am a mostly pacifist liberal atheist who sees racial difference as trivial and unimportant as, say, differing taste in cake.
He is a militaria-obsessed conservative-thinking racist (I have a hard time calling him a racist. He was polite and friendly, on the surface, to the minority kebab-shop owners who delivered our weekly feast, but I could tell deep down that he considered them a problem for the country and a somehow lower class of people), who probably believes in God. Yet he was terrific company.
Even though I know he holds some ignorant and unpleasant views I still miss his company. We fed off eachother’s wit and had the most hilarious times together.
Post your experience of friendship with opposites.
P.S. I am not equating any one of those qualities with the others. Belief in God, for instance, does not make someone as bad as a racist. I only list it as something opposite to my own personality.
I am a moderate Democrat, who has voted for libertarians more than often than Democrats. My closests friends are Conservative Christians who think that Bush is almost far enough to the Right. They don’t see how someone can “believe” in science, since it disagrees with the Bible. I don’t see how someone can believe that the Bible is literal, since it disagrees with empirical evidence. We don’t agree on much about either religion or politics, and we discuss both regularly, especially now.
But we manage to remain friends and see each other regularly.
To the best of my knowledge I’m not any particular “-ist.” Because I tend to non-believe anything I don’t personally experience (I think that’s called “cynical”) I’m largely without opinion. A notable exception is that I have a problem with anyone who lives outside “The Golden Rule” and begins to impose their own beliefs on others. Most of my “friends” call themselves Christians, yet they softly/steadily persecute gays, women, ethnic minorities (even Christian ones!), addicts…basically anyone with a lifestyle that differs from their own.
I work with a guy who is Rush Limbaugh’s “mini-me.” He’s convinced that Reagan was the 2nd best US president ever, right after Junior, I wouldn’t waste my own urine on either man if he were on fire; He’s a church choir performer, I’ve not set foot in a church to receive The Word since I was 9; He’s 40 & single and thinks handguns are useful for home defense, I’m almost 40, married with kids and think handguns and kids should not share a roof; He’s pro-war with no military experience, I’m a vet who can’t bring the boys back home fast enough; the list of contrasts goes on. We get along famously because we are both honest: “I respect you, but not your views.” Interestingly, he would legislate his views into legally protected rights whereas I favor less governmental involvement. While he baits me with comments like, “C’mon, you’re a closet Republican, just admit it.” I counter with, “Your president is a murdering fool who would legislate away any protection afforded to the types of people who founded this country.”
We have great times. I let him try to convert me to Christianity & adopt his eletist white-man world view, and he let’s me remember that elitist, self-serving bastards are usually only that way because their morals and opinions have never been tested in real life, and that’s not entirely their own fault. In a pinch, I know he’d administer first aid to a gut-stabbed Mexican junkie hooker, so I deem his heart to be good, even if I doubt his mental health. And I think it’s the heart that counts in a person.
My best friend is a total tease who never put out for anyone and is materialistic and obsessed with haute couture. She dyes her hair regularly, consumes large amounts of caffeine, is married and has a two year old and a baby on the way. She loves television.
I am a reformed slut who couldn’t care less about having material crap and dress in jeans and used clothing in general. I have my natural hair and no makeup 99% of the time, I have a caffeine sensitivity, no husband and no kids. I love books.
We get along famously. And have for over 10 years now.
This is an usually apposite thread for me: I discovered on Saturday night that my closest friend of 6 years has completely opposite political views to me. Don’t ask me how I hadn’t discovered this in 6 years; I have no idea. It came out that in her native New Zealand she voted for a single issue party - that issue being the abolition of national insurance. She says she doesn’t think she should have to pay it, because “I don’t get anything back for it”, which is ironic because as I pointed out, she “gets it back” every time she visits her GP - something she does a lot as she’s suffering from depression. This lead on to a discussion about immigrants - she believes that the “flood” of illegal immigrants we are “letting” into the country will “sink” it, and why are we giving them houses, cars and benefits? I didn’t know where to start with this one, because a) If they’re illegal immigrants, we aren’t letting them in, are we? Hence the illegality; b) The language she used led me to suspect that someone’s been perusing the BNP website; c) Who the hell are these immigrants who are being given benefits, houses and cars as soon as they enter the country, because outside of the pages of the tabloids, I’ve yet to see one; and d) She’s a Kiwi living and working in Britain! So don’t her own rules apply to her, or are immigrants from white, western countries ok - it’s just the other sort we don’t want?!
I have yet to figure out how I feel about her now. On the one hand, she’s a good friend who’s always been there for me. On the other, her political viewpoint is abbhorrent to me. I don’t know if I can reconcile the two.