Generally speaking, posters who are considered “less respected” are the ones who post egregious crap most, if not all, of the time. They are the ones who don’t argue logically, but simply call people “asshole” when they don’t agree with them.
Lots of posters say “less agreeable” things, like the few resident bigots we seem to have, and the resident anti-gay posters, and people like that. But if they express themselves reasonably politely, and phrase their arguments logically, then I think they are at least respected for their alternate viewpoints. We may find them irritating, but we don’t accuse them of being trolls.
People who don’t “play along” in the sense that they don’t seem to understand what the point of the SDMB is, are not respected. Some people come to this MB just to vent their spleen and anger at the world in general. The rest of us, Bjorn, come here to TALK. Here at the SDMB, most of us want to sit around the kitchen table and TALK. Or sit out on the porch with Grandpa and TALK. Or go out behind the barn and smoke cigarettes and TALK. Some posters don’t get it; they do nothing but rant, either in the Pit, or more politely, over in MPSIMS. These are the ones who don’t “play along”, the ones who are “less respected”. When a poster who has contributed nothing to the SDMB so far besides personal complaints decides to butt into a serious conversation about creationism, either we simply ignore him, or we shout at him to “shut up!” Some of us will add the word, “asshole!” to it.
Sometimes posters do say the “wrong thing”. Usually it’s a personal insult that was uncalled for. The posters who ARE respected are the ones who realize this and almost immediately offer an apology and an explanation. “I’m sorry, I’m just angry by something you said in this other thread.” Or, “sorry, I shouldn’t post at 2 a.m.”
The posters who are NOT respected are the ones who insult for no reason and then don’t seem to understand that an apology is called for.
As for having other posters “on your side”, this is very nice when you’re a newbie and somebody picks on you or flames you. It’s very reassuring to see a couple of supportive posts right after the insult, picking on the one who was picking on you. It’s also very nice if you’re debating in the minority on a topic.
The SDMB is made up of people, and people can’t help forming alliances and friendships.
Also, you tend to notice which posters agree with you, and which ones post topics that you’ll find interesting to post to, so you tend to look for their names in the subject list.
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen
