My friend was telling me about a romantic encounter he had with his wife. It all sounded so hot and erotic UNTIL when I asked him who was watching the baby, he said she was right there in the room with them playing in her crib. The child is 18 months old
I just think that is inappropriate, but maybe that is just me.
That got me to thinking what do others think about this situation? Would you have made passionate sex with your child in the room? If so, at what age do you think it becomes a no no?
I highly suspect that the range of answers to your O.P. will cover the entire spectrum of human personal threshold for modesty, intimacy and whatnot. You clearly picked the right Forum.
My son was 6 months old when he came, his crib was in his room. When my daughter arrived, she was 4 1/2 months old. She was never awake when such things occurred. It is to me as well highly inappropriate. Children need to learn gradually how love and lovemaking happens in the context of parents’ life. The toddler years are NOT the right age for that to happen.
We’re talking sex. Stark naked monkey love. Not kissing, not amourous hugging and smooching. I’ve no problem with my kids seeing that kind of behavior ( rare as it is around my particular household… :rolleyes: ), but that is how young kids ought to learn about physical affection and love.
Watching their parents have sexual intercourse isn’t the way they should learn, IMHO.
There’s no way I would have been able to do this with my wide-awake toddler in the same room. Something about the sounds of a baby (awake, playing, crying, cooing, whatever) just dampens the ardor completely. And since there’s no telling when a baby will wake suddenly, just the threat of that made me too anxious to want to have sex in the same room with my sleeping baby.
Once my boys were weaned, they learned how to sleep in their own room.
Well, thinking back the quarter century or so since my kids were that little, I’d say that 18 months sounds a little too old to be in the crib watching mommy and daddy do the wild thing.
But what’s more intriguing about your question is why your friend was telling you about a hot, erotic encounter his wife in the first place. Seems a tad on the private side. Did it just slip out during a normal conversation about the weather?
A sleeping child, yes, sure, why not, as long as one is reasonably sure the child won’t waken. By the time my son was 18 months, I think I was pretty well aware of how soundly he was sleeping.
An awake child, no! It is no appropriate and might be very scary and confusing for the child.
Sheez, that creeps me out to tell the truth. I don’t even like my daughter anywhere near me when I have an erection, let alone sex…She comes toddling in the bedroom or mom brings her in in the early morning to wake daddy and I’ve got morning wood…ewww! Get her away! I don’t want her near me until I’ve gone pee!
I think it’s really a cultural thing. It wouldn’t be perverted or disgusting within, say, a village in Polynesia or a tribe on the Amazon where folks run around naked all day and an extended family sleeps in very close quarters. It would be natural if it were a culture that took a more relaxed view of those things, and where everyone would get their sexual education this way. In our culture, well, we expose our kids to sex at a later date, and we have a stricter concept of privacy. So, having sex with a child in the room is tremendously yucky.
Not to mention the extended history of humans, when we didn’t always have separate bedrooms.
In Atanarjuat, about Inuit, they all slept together in one big tent - to keep warm. The sex scene was two sweaty heads popping up out of the covers (afterwards), amongst many other sleeping heads. I guess they’re just accustomed to it.
Agreed that it would be a difficult thing for most of us to get used to !
Not knowing much about the cogitative abilities of a 18 month old child but can they talk?
I figure if the kid is very young and isn’t simply staring at mommy and daddy (maybe cover the side of the crib with a blanket?) I wouldn’t consider it wrong. As long as the parents keep it down to only heavy breating or something. Any screaming orgasms are probably a bad idea (at the very least may scare the kid).
But I figure just simply hearing it isn’t going to scar the kid for life or anything. My GF and I can be pretty quiet even if it gets rather…uhh…hot.
And sure I would kick out the dog/cats. They might get in the way
I have to ask the question, “Will a very young child have memories of/been affected by it?”
Personally, I cannot remember anything from when I was very young. I have one memory(maybe age 5?) of sitting in green osh kosh overalls watching sesame street…but then again I probably did that all the time so it stuck with me.
Myself, I wouldn’t with a child in the room…creepy ?_?
I am not a parent, but I don’t find anything to be so tremendously wrong about it. I’m not an exhibitionist, either. As some other posters have mentioned, for the vast majority of human history, parents didn’t have the luxury of separate bedrooms. Furthermore, I doubt that an 18-month old has any idea of what is going on. I’m not saying that everyone should go back to the habit of having the whole family sleep in one room, nor am I saying that 4 or 5 year olds can be playing in their parents bedroom while their parents are having sex. But under the circumstances described in the OP, I think it was fine.
I would think that the parents having sex with the child in the room would be preferable to leaving the child unsupervised. And I can recognize that children at that age don’t always sleep through the night and that parents of young children may have difficulties finding times to be physically intimate with each other. And I believe that physical intimacy helps strenghten a romantic relationship. I would rather have a couple with an 18 month old have sex with the kid in the room than to have a household in which the parents are frustrated an angry because they can’t get any alone time, because I think that would be an unhealthier environment for the child. (yes, I know things aren’t as black and white as that–it’s an example).
I’m with Dinoboy - Peaches and Scuba get kicked out of the bedroom during the deed, though for mostly practical considerations (Peaches thinks she needs to get in bed and pitch in, and she has sharp lil claws).
I don’t have kids of my own, but I doubt I could be comfortable getting it on with little yard apes in the room - we’re loud (ok, I’M loud), so we’d wake a sleeping kid, and we’re not exactly ‘doors locked, lights out in the Missionary position’ kind of people, so it would probably expose a kid to a bit more than they should be at a young, young age.
I can just barely imagine doing it with a sleeping infant in the room. An awake 18-month-old is much too aware for my comfort. (Yes, they can talk.)
Actually, what astounds me most is the notion of an 18-month-old “playing in her crib” long enough for anything to happen. We definitely had to wait until nap time, even though my daughter slept in a different room.
The child of FaerieBeth and stonebow shall not witness such acts, as decreed by stonebow upon the arrival of his son. Fast forward a few weeks, late at night, really in the mood, but the baby’s in the room?! Darling hubby got over his shyness in front of baby real quick. However, baby was always asleep. An awake baby in the room is quite possibly the best abstinence enforcement known, IMO. Now that Joey is almost 2? He sleeps in his own bed and goes to bed at a very reasonable hour… down the hall…around the corner…behind his closed door. No worries! g
I’m wondering if this sort of thing gave rise to the story about the little kid in grade school who raised his hand when the teacher asked if anyone knew a word that started with the letter “P”.
The little kid says, “Penis. My Daddy has two of them.”
The teacher’s jaw drops. :eek:
The child continues, “His little one is for going to the bathroom and the big one is for brushing Mommy’s teeth.”
