right there in Target. We’re doing Critical Mass (big bike ride) in San Diego tomorrow night with some friends, and he doesn’t have a bike, so we’re borrowing one, and I was getting reflectors and lights and I saw the helmet and realized, “He doesn’t have a helmet,” so I called him to ask him what color he wanted. I didn’t call to say, “Hey, babe, how do you feel about brain injuries? Pro or con?” Or “What do you think of those weird buckets people wear on their heads when they cycle? Do you think we need them?” No, I called to find out *what color. * Granted, I am ten weeks pregnant (yay) so I guess I’m somewhat more emotional, but the real reason I started crying is that I’m ten weeks pregnant. As in, you are not your own little island anymore, you have a child (ok, an embryo) to worry about. I don’t really feel like taking your kid to the rehab center to see you. It is so easy to put a helmet on your head. It is so annoying to crack your head open. Not that a helmet will save you from everything, but come ON. I don’t get it. He said, “I don’t want to wear a helmet. I’d rather not go.” ?! $@# ??? I sort of hung up on him and sat down on the metal thing where merchandise goes (it was empty, nice) and cried. To me it just seemed like he was saying, “I don’t care enough about you and our embryo to do what I can to stay safe and be responsible.”
He’s not some anti-helmet live free or die libertarian or anything – he just takes time to get used to an idea sometimes – a new tablecloth, different brand of toothpaste – doesn’t matter. He explained later that sometimes men are like kids - they just want to do it their way. They don’t want someone telling them to wear a helmet. Anyway, he called me back and heard me sobbing on the phone…so he said, “Let’s talk about it, I’ll buy one tomorrow,” which makes no sense either since we don’t have time tomorrow and there I was, in front of the helmets…so I said, “How about I get one now and we talk about it,” so he agreed. He called me back to tell me he loved me. When I came home I started crying anew and he hugged me told me he was sorry. So all’s well that ends well. But good grief. It’s a HELMET, it’s not a freaking torture machine. You know what I mean?
PS My midwife said it’s fine for me to ride right now and everything…it’s a well-organized ride…I’m an experienced cyclist and the embryo is well-protected by my body…just in case anyone feels like warning me…
Bike riding is a good exercise during pregnancy. Falling down is a bad exercise at any time.
Good luck on your ride. Is it the one from San Diego to Ensenada?
This is a bicycle. right? Were it a motorcycle I would agree that he should wear a helmet, but a bicycle? I’ve never worn a helmet, and my son notwithstanding I’m not going to start now. I’ve been hit by cars, I’ve been thrown over the handlebars, I’ve slipped chains and fallen off, hell, I’ve left skin all across Central Pennsylvania. But I never hit my head. Not even once.
The odds are so low, why would you worry about it?
In mountain biking the technical term for people that don’t wear helmets is Organ donor
Tell him that another guy that rides said grow up and wear the damn helmet.
Glad he agreed to wear the helmet. He did the right thing in the end (and doesn’t sound like it took him too long to change his mind) so everything is okay.
The tears were probably technically a bit of overreaction, but that’s what pregnancy does to you. I can remember practically dissolving into sentimental tears watching CNN Weather while I was pregnant. Your tears made more sense than mine, at least.
Yes, it’s a bicycle, and yeah, it doesn’t appear that the odds are that low. Also, it’s not just the odds, it’s the stakes. Even if odds are low, when stakes are high, you often take precautions. I’ll tell him, Rick. Also, empirical evidence I have gathered in my head over the years shows that lots and lots of cyclists have wrecks. It happens. Sometimes they fall on their heads. Why would you not protect it? I know a guy who has seizures and a very messed-up neck now because on a calm ride without a helmet, he hit something (a rock?) and he got thrown off his bike and into a telephone pole. Picunurse, agreed. Best to avoid falling at all times. No, it’s not to Ensenada — it’s just a short ride (I don’t know our exact route – 15-20 miles?) mostly for fun. Yes, technically I agree, CairoCarol – but at the time they seemed very sensical. Wow, I would NEVER mountain bike without a helmet…good grief. Falling is a way of life in mountain biking.
You know, I never wore a helmet as a kid either. I wonder how me and all my friends made it to adulthood. Sometimes I think that we as a society have grown a little too risk adverse.
In mountain biking, I could definitely see wearing a helmet. But just to ride on pavement? I wouldn’t.
I didn’t wear a helmet when I was a kid either, but I always think when reading one of those emails about “we didn’t wear seatbelts” and “we didn’t wear helmets” etc. that, yeah, we didn’t, and yeah, we’re here, but the kids who died or have traumatic brain injuries aren’t really sending any emails…And it’s not just the pavement itself. It’s all the cars who might hit you first and send you faster than you’d hoped into the pavement.
You described perfectly how it feels emotionally being pregnant. We’re just so vulnerable at that time. No need for any lectures about helmets to your man - he’s already agreed to wear it. Have a nice time and I hope neither of you actually need the helmets.
I knew a guy who commuted to work on a bicycle, hit a pothole or something and got pitched over the handlebars, and landed on his head and died. No helmet. Anecdotal evidence, yes, but just like the inch-deep dent a college friend showed me in his motorcycle helmet from where he’d skidded out on a curve and hit his head, I’ve been rather partial to helmet-wearing ever since.
And it’s really not like wearing a bicycle helmet is uncomfortable – heck, in hot weather it’s even an excellent way to keep your head cool, it doesn’t weigh anything to speak of, being made of styrofoam, and it doesn’t block your vision. So since there’s really no good reason not to wear one and lots of good reasons to wear one, I just don’t understand what’s the big deal.
And yes, there were lots of things we didn’t do when I was growing up that we do today that I frankly am very glad we have now. Just like there are lots of ways we’re incredibly stupid about trying to overprotect everybody from everything. For me, wearing a bicycle helmet falls into the former category, not the latter. I gave my kids lots of opportunities to acquire all the normal childhood scrapes and bumps and bruises – and they did – so I don’t think I’m particularly overprotective. I just appreciate useful things we have today that we didn’t when I was growing up, like lightweight styrofoam bicycle helmets.
And when I was pregnant? I got hysterical when I screwed up making a pie crust. Believe me, it’s completely normal to cry over anything and everything!
I’ve been riding bikes since I was about 7 and have done so with a helmet for about the last 20 years. I whacked my head pretty good once when I was a kid without a helmet, and wiped out once (swerved to avoid a pedestrian who stepped in front of me) with a helmet. Believe me, you’d much rather have a helmet on if your head is going to hit the pavement. I always do a double take when I see someone riding a bike around Boston or Cambridge without a helmet. In a busy urban (or suburban) environment with clueless drivers, pedestrians, other cyclists and potholes, why take the risk?
One other good reason to wear a helmet if you have a kid on the way: if you want the young’un to wear one the easiest way is to wear one yourself.
My helmet has protected me more time than I can count from little stuff. Gravel coming of the back of the truck (thank the Spaghetti Monster I also had protective eyewear), my friend bent back a branch that flung back and hit my head, and assorted bumps. A couple months ago, it saved me a good chunk of scalp when I came off my bike and my head scraped along the curb.
Some people willl argue the true statistic that helmets can lead to neck and spine injuries. While it’s true, it’s also the same logic as saying: “Wearing a seatbelt greatly increases your chances of getting trapped by your seatbelt in a burning car.” That’s true too. But the number of deaths that could be prevented by a seatbelt vastly outnumber the rare occasions where a seatbelt has been the cause of someone’s death.
My fiancee has a history of a few minor concussions and one huge one. A road raging guy got out of his car and assaulted some pedestrians. Fianceephone was punched in the head so hard, when she woke up, she didn’t recognize her then-boyfriend, and to this day she has a total memory loss of a roughly 24 hour period. Due to that history, she must, must MUST take great care with her noggin. She can’t afford to have her brain slosh over and hit the side of her skull again.
She had a wipe out commuting home from work a couple years ago. She didn’t think it was much of a fall, but it split her helmet. She was fine. Someone here on the board sugggested that was just coincidence because your hard skull is designed to protect your brain. Fine, skull protects brain from pavement. Helmet protects brain from skull. That unremarkable fall could have been disasterous for her, evne though it wasn’t a hug,e catastrophic, head-over-handlebars tumble.
I have about 15,000 miles of road riding over the last few years, and have taken about 5 spills, usually from slipping on gravel or wet areas on the road. It’s always been my hands that have hit first because I put them out to break my fall. So, I wear gloves.
But, I don’t wear a helmet, because if I do then I can’t wear my headphones.
I grew up without helmets and seat belts, and survived this long, but no longer think it is reasonable to go without them. A statistical sample of my one lifetime is uselessly small, and the statistics on what these accessories accomplish are very convincing. The risk relative to the trouble it takes to use these things is just too nasty.
It’s reasonable to expect someone you’re having a child with to err further on the side of caution.
When I mountain bike, I always wear a helmet, and it would be foolhardy not to.
When I ride on pavement or rails-to-trails type of trails (flat, straight, even surfaces) I would never think to wear a helmet. You may as well get a piece of masking tape and a marker and put his first name on his helmet in the front.
This thread reminds me of The Husband, who has his private pilot’s license. When we had kids, he wanted to resume flying on the occasional weekend (he does not own a plane). I said sure, but he’d need a current will, first. I have no problem with him flying–I have a problem with him dying intestate. He has already crashed one small plane into a corn field (it was equipment failure). But why take chances?
He refuses to fly now–and blames me. :rolleyes:
Stick to your guns re the helmet. I would not go the road of “if he loved me”–that’s an abyss where no light can enter. But common sense, practical things like helmets? He’s an adult; he needs to act like one.
It only takes once, and I promise you won’t see it coming.
Oh and to the OP. Congrats on the soon-to-be rugrat. Sorry your thread got hijacked into a helmet discussion, but then again, you knew it would anyhow.
Best to avoid falling at all times. No, it’s not to Ensenada — it’s just a short ride (I don’t know our exact route – 15-20 miles?) mostly for fun. Yes, technically I agree, CairoCarol – but at the time they seemed very sensical.