Mr Burns is trying to get his illegitimate son into Yale. The following conversation ensues:
Burns: Well, did you meet Larry?
Yale Official 1: Oh, yes. He made light of my weight problem, then suggested my motto be “semper fudge.” At that point, he told me to “relax”.
Burns: How were his test scores?
Yale Official 2: Let’s just say this – he spelled “Yale” with a “6.”
from: http://www.tv.com/the-simpsons/burns-baby-burns/episode/1442/trivia.html
ETA: answered before I could come back with my witty, yet incorrect, reply!
Not Smithers. Larry Burns.
“Is it about my cube?”
Lisa: “Dad! Don’t eat that, it’s poisoned!”
Homer: “Eh, I’ve had a good run.” (prepares to eat poisoned eclair)
Lisa: “Uhm, uh… It’s lowfat!”
Homer: “Nooooooooooo!” (throws eclair far, far away. It explodes on impact)
My kids and I use this one almost every week: “It’s lowfat! Noooooooo!”
I know. Everyone was explaining the obvious joke instead of providing the context ** Valteron** asked for. So I was making a point.
“Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.”
“Good luck, Ralphy. If your nose starts bleeding, it means you’re picking it too much. Or not enough.”
From “Bart Star”:
Homer: Now its time for the easiest part of any coach’s job. The cuts.
Later in the same episode:
Homer: Ah. You know, tomorrows the championship game and we could sure use some good defensive tackle.
Bart: Well, I thought Uter took my place!
Homer: Consider him cut.
Thank you:D
“Marge, I’m not going to lie to you. So long!” runs away
“To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
“Stupid sexy Flanders!”
You can replace Flanders with about any noun and it works…
Ralph: “Um, Miss Hoover? There’s a dog in the vent.”
Miss Hoover: “Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?”
Ralph: “He was going to the bathroom.”
“I sleep in a drawer!”
HA-ha.
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge! Never. I can’t live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors – oh, I’ll never be the darling of the so-called “City Fathers” who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about “What’s to be done with this Homer Simpson?”
One of my favorites that I actuall use fairly often.
‘Whoa whoa whoa. I’m Just tryin To Get Into Heaven, I’m Not Running For Jesus.’
“Oh, Lisa, you and your crazy ideas. Mr. Burns is a vampire. Beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that place where our beds…and TV…is.”
Ooh, this one just has to be repeated. I love it!
“Every time I learn something new, something different gets pushed out of my brain. Remember when I took that wine making course, and I forgot how to drive?”
“You were drunk!”
“And how.”
“You gave both dogs away?! You know how I feel about giving.”
Nothing can possibli go wrong.