In reality, I am a slut.
Close enough?
Given your choice of anybody, who would you have like to have seen representing the shows?
For the MTV challenges, they came very close. Mike is a no-brainer, but Coral would have been the best woman, by far. Trishelle is probably top five, but bumped up considerably if gross eating challenges are featured events.
For Survivor, I’d flip a coin between Fireman Tom and Airman Terry for the guy, although it’s tough to eliminate “you just cost us a million dollars” Boston Rob. For the woman, I’d have to go with Eyebrows Stephenie, although Twila’s not a bad choice at all.
Who would you have picked for AI, TAR, and The Apprentice?
Well, like I said: “reality stardom” is pretty subjective. So mostly I’d like to see people I liked, which pretty much eliminates everyone from the Real World off the bat. (Well, except for maybe Judd and Pam and Pedro, but they’re like 40 years old now and/or deceased, so that could be problematic.)
Hmm … for Survivor, I think I’d have to say Ian or Ethan, because they’re my favorites, but they’re too busy trying to save the world through soccer to be bothered by Joe Rogan. (Good on them for it, too.) Rob C. might be fun to watch, too. For the girls, I’m not so sure – I think Twila is actually a good choice, and I find her much less annoying when she isn’t surrounded by Scout and Ami.
I don’t watch Apprentice, but I would like to see Raj get smacked around and possibly eaten by alligators. The Pam-azon would be fierce, but also scary. Have any real “famous” people come out of Apprentice?
To be honest, I was surprised to see American Idol represented, although I don’t know why. I mean, it is a reality show. I actually like Carmen and A-Fed, as long as they don’t sing too much, or show off their tracheotomy scars. I don’t know who else would want to do it, anyway.
From the Race, I would like the Brothers (the ones who crashed their jeep in Africa). No other choice, really. But I think they’ve done Fear Factor before, so they might not have been allowed back.
Raj isn’t available at the moment – he’s running for Congress against Alison Schwartz (local reference that rockle might get).
Yay! Glad to see that )*( go.
What now? Asshole? Dingleberry? I can’t parse your symbol…
Tonight’s installment was the funniest reality show I’ve ever seen; I laughed out loud even more than that one Survivor episode where Fireman Tom’s team owned Stephenie’s pathetic tribe so easily as to be comical.
First laugh was when the Miz got the skidoo up to mach 3 and then dove off, leaving Trishelle to go careening past the drop point by a half a mile. Ease off the testosterone there, big guy. (Damn if Trishelle can’t swim, though; I was impressed she beat him to the boat.)
The Idol boy (who looks about 12) and his crush on Trishelle was funny as shit. The canned faux-romance-on-the-beach bit was corny, but having it end with Trishelle basically saying he had no chance was funny. The best bit of that, by far, was when the little guy asked Mike for tips: “Give her drinks.”
Johnny Fairplay claiming to have been a lifeguard was hysterical. I didn’t need Trishelle (who supposedly is a friend of his IRL) to confirm it was bullshit; who the hell would put him in charge of guarding lives?
Poor Twila. Eight minutes?! That was probably the most compelling 30 minutes of anti-smoking propaganda ever put on television, with the stark contrast of the heavy smoker versus the non-smokers. After Johnnie screwed the pooch on that stunt, I just laughed harder and harder as each subsequent group demolished his time.
The two remaining teams have to be convinced at this point that they don’t have a chance in hell against the Real Worlders, as there are no puzzle or trivia challanges on Fear Factor.
I was so tickled by the main show that even that stupid “home invasion” stunt at the end had me rolling. Damn the wife’s jet-black mouth at the end was vile.
Oh, one note for the Apprentice grousing about refering to Mike as the Miz: His actual name is Mike Mizanin, so it kind of is his real name.
[crankypants ON]
You had to remind me, didn’t you? At least he isn’t in my district. Because if he were, I’d have to ask him, with absolutely zero sarcasm: “WTF? You wanted ‘a new challenge,’ so you picked Congress, instead of, I don’t know, buying a tie that isn’t retarded, or something?” I mean, at least Lynn Swann was on television for a real reason, like winning the Super Bowl. But I’m biased. I miss Joe Hoeffel. Whatever. (You’ve met me – you know I’d say it, too.)
[/crankypants OFF]
It is possible that Johnny wasn’t always a tool. Highly unlikely, but possible nevertheless. And slightly in his defense (although don’t tell anyone), I smoke and I could have completed that task in well under 8 minutes. I don’t think I would have beaten Miz, but I can still hold my breath while moving underwater for 35 seconds, so I might have at least put up more of a fight. I think Johnny’s performance was entirely a last-ditch effort for as much airtime as possible before he was outta there.
Good point; I’ve got 20 pack years in my lungs, still smoking, and I probably could have done better than him as well.
hehheh, that cracked me right the hell up. Good stuff.
Asshole. Since Jonathan was known as *, I didn’t want to risk confusing the issue.
Gotta say, Tana and Craig are doing way better than I expected them to.
Just a reminder that the grand finale of this is tonight.
I thought “reality-based” was the phrase they use where you are supposedly watching the real life antics of someone, but it’s still scripted. For example the Danny Bonaduce train wreck that was Breaking Bonaduce.