Announcing a major advance in chiropractic - Telepathic Healing a.k.a. “Bahlaqeem”.
Yes indeed, you no longer have to endure those trying visits to the chiropractor’s office - think the proper thoughts and the chiro will heal you long distance (the reference to Basset Hounds is explained by the testimonial on the “Bahlaqeem” website by a satisfied Basset).*
Alas, the evil minions of the Medical-Big Pharma conspiracy have found out about this revolutionary new healing method and are persecuting the visionary chiro.
I hope you will all send thoughts of support to this poor man.
*Rumor has it, though, that dachsunds prefer homeopathy.