(in Games Room as interested in IRL sports side not what happens in the show)
So there is lots of buzz around this Heated Rivalry, HBO show online. As I understand it, the premise is two star ice hockey players on opposing teams, fall in love and have lots of steamy gay sex.
My thought is won’t someone think of the sportsball!? Surely that’s gonna affect the outcome of games involving those two teams? I don’t follow ice hockey but in football/soccer, if the star center forward on one team and the left back on the other are romantically involved, that’s got to reduce the effectiveness of the defense a little. I imagine the effect would be more pronounced in hockey as the teams are smaller.
Has that ever happened IRL? Are there any contractual or sporting regulations governing romantic relationships between players on different teams in the same league? I’m guessing if it has happened (in mens sports) it would be kept very secret as openly gay players have only been accepted incredibly recently (if they have been accepted at all)
I can’t think of an example in a major North American professional men’s sports league, as there have only been a handful of out gay men who’ve played in those leagues. In the NFL, for example, there have only been two players who were out while on an NFL roster: Michael Sam and Carl Nassib. (And, no, they wouldn’t have qualified for your question, as Sam was drafted, but never played in an NFL regular-season game, and was out of football two years before Nassib joined the NFL.)
But, on the women’s side, it’s not uncommon in the WNBA and the NWSL, where there are a lot of out gay athletes. A couple of examples I could find:
Gabby Williams plays on the WNBA’s Seattle Storm; her partner Marine Johannes plays on the New York Liberty.
Courtney Vandersloot and Allie Quigley got married in 2018 while they were both playing for the WNBA’s Chicago Sky; they spent two seasons playing on opposing teams, when Vandersloot signed with the Liberty as a free agent. (They were reunited when Vandersloot moved back to the Sky in 2025.)
Alyson Annan was Australian womens (field) hockey captain, 228 caps, 166 goals winning gold in the 1996 & 2000 Summer Olympics and was voted Best Female Hockey Player in the World in 1999. Her partner is Carole Thate who played for Holland in both those Olympics, I think may have been the Dutch captain in 2000.
As to partners competing head-to-head, I would have thought professionals would be more likely to try and knock each others head off.
I am reminded of an anecdote about Indian batter Sunil Gavaskar and West Indian fast bowler Joel Garner who had been flat mates when playing in England. Gavaskar is 5’4" while Garner is 6’8".
When playing against each other in the 1983 World Cup Final Garner greeted Gavaskar with a fierce barrage of short pitched deliveries.
Gavaskar: “How about one off the mark for your old flatmate?”
Garner: “No man. No freebies for you.”
Siblings playing against each other is pretty common. I don’t imagine romantic partners would be all that different.
The siblings that immediately jump to mind for me are Tiki and Ronde Barber. They combined for eight pro bowls and Ronde was inducted into the Hall of Fame a couple years ago, so it’s not like they were backups or scrubs. Tiki on offense, Ronde on defense, they literally played head-to-head against each other. As for closeness, they are identical twins. I have to assume they were and are pretty close.
Not as striking as you’d think at first blush. They both played football their whole lives, and were always on the same team, including in college, until they got to the NFL. Tiki was a running back, and there is typically only one running back on the field for any given play. Meaning if Tiki was definitely going to be a running back, Ronde would have to play a different position in order to get on the field. (He was a cornerback.)
Based on their 40 times at the combine Tiki was a little faster than Ronde, which may explain why Tiki was the running back. While Tiki had an impressive career in his own right, Ronde’s was more decorated: more all-pro seasons (3/2 vs 1/0), more probowls (5 vs 3), a Superbowl win, and being in the hall of fame. Some of that disparity could be chalked up to Tiki retiring early, after 10 seasons, while Ronde played for 16. (Running backs traditionally have shorter careers compared to other positions.)
When Gabriel Milito played football (the one you play with your actual feet) for Independiente against hated rivals Racing Club who fielded his brother Diego they got in a fight in the pitch (because Diego protested that Gabriel should’ve been sent out for grabbing an opponent’s shirt).
They had to be physically separated by the referee, Hector Elizondo who had been their Phys. Ed. professor in high school.
Off course this being Independiente and Racing trying to win the match is far more important than any brotherly, family, or romantic love…
Hijack - I once helped a pair of identical twins move into a new apartment. Facing each other from either end of a large couch, they had hilarious difficulty getting it around a corner because they needed to move in opposite directions, and that just wasn’t happening… it would have been curious to see them play tennis or ping-pong…
I think it depends on the sportspeople involved, but my observation is that usually they’re of an ultracompetetive type and I don’t see romantic relations softening that instinct much. (Maybe even increases that “heated rivalry.”) Just speaking from my experience, I used to be a very competitive “win at all costs” type of personality, and, except for maybe children, I would not ease off on a competition, even if I was romantically tied with my partner. The most heated rivalries were with people I loved. I was competing with myself, too. I’m no longer like that, but I can understand a mindset that is so driven to win, where it wouldn’t matter, and I suspect a lot of athletes are that way (and how they achieve that elite level of competetion.)
The three Watt brothers (J.J., T.J., and Derek) all played in the NFL, and in a 2020 game, all three played: J.J. for Houston, and T.J. and Derek for Pittsburgh. It was apparently the first time that three brothers all played in an single game since the 1920s.
Bringing it back to hockey. I was going to mention some famous brother combos in the NHL playing for different teams but that’s too easy. How about two brothers facing off against each other in Olympic ice hockey? Robert and Martin Reichel played in 2002 for Czech Republic and Germany respectively.
I don’t think anybody needs to argue that most siblings have no problem trying their best to kick each other’s ass. Romantic partners are often different. I see this in pickleball everyday. For some couples it makes no difference who they are playing. Others will take it easy on their spouse/S.O. And others will go gunning for them. About half find it so problematic that they never play against each other. The ability to play against a romantic partner varies wildly among individuals.
There are coed sports where this could potentially come into play. I gather it’s not unheard of for ice dancers and pairs figure skaters to become romantically involved with their partners. I wouldn’t be surprised of the situation has arisen where two former SOs are now competing with different partners. That’s a little different than some other sports because you’re not on the ice at the same time.
There’s also mixed doubles curling. Curling is such a niche sport in the U.S. that I wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone has competed against their SO at the national level.
I haven’t seen the show, though I think I saw it was based around Olympic game play. Players would compete against each other twice at most (round robin and elimination round) in such a tournament, every 4 years.
Even if they were in NHL teams, teams face each other at most 6 times a year, then maybe for one best-of-seven series.
I don’t really think those interpersonal relationships will affect the overall team or season performance much. There are a ton of long-standing rivalries and grudges where players “hate” each other, and those just get settled with fights.
