Telephone and Rubber Band by Penguin Café Orchestra. There are no lyrics; it is literally the sound of a tape loop of a UK telephone ring tone intersected with an engaged tone, accompanied by the twanging of a rubber band (and later some strings).
Hey Eugene - Pink Martini
And Cat’s in the Cradle
Bonus retro points for miming a rotary dial phone (2:33)
I’m now wondering what’s the earliest published/performed song that includes a reference to the telephone. Bell’s patent was issued in 1876, and Gilbert’s lyric appeared in the first half of 1878. I’d be shocked if that was the first, but what came before it?
Hmm…
(The full verse, sung by four characters as part of an octet in which a sailor is being imprisoned for daring to love the captain’s daughter:
“He’ll hear no tone
Of the maiden he loves so well;
No telephone
Communicates with his cell.”)
The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells, “What you gonna do with your life?”
Oh daddy dear, you know you’re still number one
But girls, they wanna have fun
The Fifth Dimension, “Last Night”
Last night I got to think maybe I should call you up
And just forget my foolish pride
I heard your number ringing
I went cold inside
Last night I didn’t get to sleep at all
Rikki Don’t Lose That Number, Steely Dan
Don’t Lose My Number, Phil Collins
Strut this like Michigan J. Frog:
… If you refuse me, honey, you’ll lose me, and you’ll be left alone
So baby, telephone, and tell me I’m your own!
Stiff Little Fingers - Closed Groove
*Beep beep I’m an answering machine
I mean to say I say what I mean
Beep beep I’ve got very strong views
Plug in any loop tape you choose
Speak whenever you hear this tone…
Scream whenever you hear this tone*
Car Phone, Roger McGuinn
The Phone Call by the Pretenders. Every song on that first album was post-punk perfection.
“Obscene Phone Caller” by Rockwell
I came home knocked out after work
That’s when my telephone goes berserk.
How can I unwind or get some rest
Receiving sick phone calls from a lonely pest.
Find someone else to bother
Mister or Miss/
Obscene Phone Caller
Why do you get off breathing on that phone?
“Mr. Telephone Man”, New Edition
Mr. telephone man, there’s something wrong with my line
When I dial my baby’s number, I get a click every time
Mr. telephone man, there’s something wrong with my line
When I dial my baby’s number, I get a click every time
When I dial 6-1-1 repair service
She said “hello, may I help you please”
I told her something must be wrong with my phone
Cause my baby wouldn’t hang up on me
And his wife Laurie Anderson’s O Superman, with the spoken voicemail message.
Good one. I’m surprised I didn’t think of it; Eighties Me would have gotten it right away.
Phony Calls, Weird Al Yankovic
Country music has some of these:
"He’ll have to Go by Jim Reeves.
This hilariously awkward number by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty.
Mentioned by Peter Morris in post #62.