Just to follow up on my previous post, I have an anecdote:
I have a friend who was adopted at a young age. Like many adoptive children she is somewhat insecure regarding the fact that she is adopted.
Anyway, her adoptive father’s mother – her adoptive grandmother, in effect – favored her “natural” grandchildren. There was one incident where granny, my friend, and two other grandchildren were at the mall. They went to the toy store, where granny bought toys for the two other grandchildren, but not for my friend. Yes, it’s granny’s money and she has a right to do that. But it’s still a crappy thing to do. In my book, granny is a bitch.
Let me tell you another story. My father has two brothers. One brother was in charge of my grandmother’s money. He has systematically reallocated the money for years towards his own expenses (there wasn’t a lot of money). If she finally disinherits him of the remaining assets (her house), is she a bitch?
How about my family. There isn’t a lot there, but my baby sister has - over the past several years - had a very tough time. Abusive boyfriend, drinking problem, job loss - some of it understandable, some of it an example of a girl who is 35 years old and hasn’t figured out she can’t buy shampoo at Nordstrom’s when she is unemployed. She has cost my parents and my other sister a lot of money over the past few years - airfare when she screws up her life again, small loans, time (and indirectly me - I’m the one that paid the expenses for family week at rehab). If my parents leave her less because they’ve already given her plenty (and this is the most recent bout of “my sister is simply more needy than the rest of us” that has been going on since she was born), is my mother a bitch?
One of my girlfriend’s grandmother died and left each of her grandchildren nearly $60k. Except my girlfriend’s brother - he was cut from the will. She paid for three adoptions for him before he died, letting him know that was his share. Is she a bitch?
What do you know about Ms. Helmsley and her relationship with her grandchildren that allows you to judge? I’m not saying she isn’t a bitch, I’m saying, you don’t have enough information to judge.
But being rude isn’t the same as being a bitch. She may have had excellent reasons for treating her grandchildren differently. We simply don’t know enough to know why she did so, as already noted by Dangerosa.
And your example is about children; these are adults. It’s definitely a nasty thing to differential between children for nothing they’ve done. Presumably, LH made her decisions about her grandchildren based on actions done as adults. Or not, we don’t know.
I’m not taking a position on anything. I’m just saying you haven’t made the case. If she was required to do something and went out of her way to not do it, then you might have a stronger argument.
But she’s not required to leave any money to her adult grandchildren, she may have had good reasons not to leave them any money, and she left the bulk of her money to charity. I think the case is pretty weak, that’s all. From other reports, she was a bitch in other aspects of her life. I just don’t see it here without some more info.
That doesn’t float. Estate taxes are part of the unified credit. You can give away $x (its actually $x,xxx,xxx) either while you live or through your estate. Doesn’t matter how you divide it up among your heirs (although it isn’t taxed if you give it to charity).
There are tax reasons for a lot of things that happen in estates, but giving money to one person and not to another (unless one of those people is a charity) isn’t a tax avoidance strategy.
I’m betting two children did (or were) something that pissed Leona off. The problem is that unless we understand what it was, we really can’t judge at all whether it was justified.
The primary difference being, it seems, that Helmsley’s grandchildren seem to be adults. So, your anecdote would apply if grandma took all the adult grandchildren to Best Buy and bought DVD players for the ones she liked, while not doing the same for the adopted ones.
Not let’s imagine that Adopted Grandkid is a member here and posted a Pit thread “FUCK YOU, GRANDMA!” all about how mean she was for not getting him (presumably in his late 20s, early 30s) a DVD player, too. Sure, some replies would be, “Yeah, that stings, dude,” but I can say ith a strong degree of certainty that most folks would harpoon the OP for being a selfish, whiny asshole.
Ahhh, but to borrow a page from another poster’s book, we don’t have enough information. Perhaps the children are citizens of Genovia, which taxes inheritances at a high rate unless you are under the age of 19. So Harry – who was in declining health – left 10 million dollars to the 2 grandchildren who were 12 years old so that they would not be slammed with the outrageous Genovian tax.
I think that’s a safe bet.
To me, the kind of conduct that would “justify” disinheriting ones grandchild is rare enough that it’s pretty unlikely that 2 out of 4 would engage in it.
Maybe he’s a whiny asshole, but if Granny gets a DVD player for each of her grandchildren except for the adopted one, then she’s a bitch in my opinion. Absent extenuating circumstances, of course.