Inspired by this thread.
When I was in my late twenties my paternal grandmother passed away. My maternal grandmother died a couple years later. Both were widows, and both were fairly well-off, so both my parents inherited several tens of thousands of dollars. Both my parents were, at the time, middle-aged, semiretired or retired, had enough money themselves, and they had both been single since they divorced, which they did when I was 18 years old. Neither had a SO, or other kids.
Both my parents enjoyed the money and spent it as they wanted. My mom went on a couple holidays and built a second home for herself. My dad, who is a bit of an eccentric, just saved the money or spent it on his own projects.
It didn’t occur to either my mom or my dad to give some of that money to me or my brother. It is true that neither me or my brother asked for money, or needed money; both he and I are debt-free and have okay jobs.
But it still sometimes strikes me as odd. I’d like to have some Doper input on it.
But I sometimes feel it is odd that my mom or dad, in the fifteen years after they inherited from their parents, never even once offered to take us on a holiday. No presents beside the occasional bunch of flowers when they visit; no monetary help when I divorced two years ago and told them the moving house bit huge chuncks out of my savings.
When I told my mom, last year I was planning to marry for the first time and to have a modest wedding (3000 dollars or so for 60 guests), she remembered that her dad had paid for her whole wedding…and then she generously offered her contribution to my wedding: 500 bucks.
Generous, isn’t it? :rolleyes: Yeah, just as generous as her gift of 50 bucks, as a contribution to the party I threw myself for friends and family when I got my masters degree in 1992. Thanks mom. That 50 bucks surely made up for all the trouble I went through to keep you occupied and escorted that day by a nice gentleman friend of mine, so you and dad could both be present at the university ceremony that day without you killing dad under the deans’ nose, even though I had carefully arranged for you both to arrive separately and sit on opposite sides of the auditorium . :mad:
Damn. I’ve taken both my parents out to dinner more often then they have taken me. I have certainly cooked way more meals for them since I was 16 (ant it is a tie before that) then the other way around. I have helped both my parents more often then they have helped me, and in bigger ways. For instance, I found my dad a free place to live and work when he had to move out of his loft; (he looked for a place where he would not have to pay rent) but yeah, he helped me to hang one whole painting on a wall. And then I cooked him dinner, in thanks. For the third time that week.
And I helped my mom set up a computer, I solved her dispute with the neighbour that was getting out of hand BIG-time, I found her reliable workmen, played intermediate more often then I can remember. I cleaned out her filthy fridge a couple times when I came to visit, before I gave up on and just decided to let mom put up her own immune-system against, among others, a month old opened tuna-salad. (She’s still the reigning champion, although more then one guest suffered food poisoning at her house). But she has generously offered me a lamp she bought for her own house, but that she didn’t like after all. So taht all evens out, don’tcha think?
Fuck, the parents of my ex and my fiance have been more generous, more thougthful, and more welcoming then my own parents.
Fuck it. I started this rant by asking “Are my parents, perhaps, a bit odd?”. But you know what? They are. Both of them. Stingy, egotistical, cold, weird worthless excuses for a parent.
Fuck it. Fuck both of them.
:: sigh ::
