No, not that kind of Star Wars virgin, I mean the kind who has never seen any of the movies. 
Based on this thread, I’ve decided to create a poll.
In short, I’ve never seen any of the trilogy and have received multiple suggestions as to which order to watch the movies in. Poll to follow. Whichever option gets the most votes is the order I will watch them in and post here with my thoughts.
I voted for Machete order because I’m curious to hear back on how that works for you. I had a roommate in college who had never seen Star Wars, and we watched the series in episode order, which sucked. He got seriously bored by episodes 4, 5, and 6 (because the special effects and pacing were a let down for him after the prequels), and no amount of me saying “No! These are the GOOD ones” salvaged the original trilogy for him.
I voted Machete order too. Only watch 1 if you (a) really liked all the others, or (b) want some laughs. It really is that stupid.
In the other thread, you mentioned that Darth Vader’s background is part of what makes you want to finally see the movies. If that’s the case, it would be kind of silly to ignore the prequels entirely. I’m voting Machete.
I say original trilogy first, then prequels. And remember, if you can’t get your hands on an original print, HAN SHOT FIRST… anything else is heresy.
You’re just lucky that you’re not standing next to a volcano.
Just watch them in order - you’ll probably end up seeing all of them anyway, and watching the old ones first won’t the new ones suck any less. Honestly, they don’t suck - they just just suck compared to the original run. But, for someone who didn’t grow up loving the originals, that may not even be true. So just watch for yourself and see how you like it.
4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3
To paraphrase Sheldon Cooper, you should let George Lucas disappoint you in the order in which he intended.
Same as this. Plus prequels intended as prequels are so much better when they’re explaining things and filling in gaps. Chronological order is boring.
However, for me (having seen them all several times) I often consider watching all 6 in one day (or maybe in 2 days) as I did with LotR and if so, which order then?
4, 5, 6, then pause for a bit and do 1, 2, 3.
I think seeing the originals and pretending it had been a long time really helps people understand how bad the prequels(1 and 2 especially) are. 3 is OK, though. Just OK, which is still a disappointment.
I’d rank the movies:
If you already know the movies well, then you should probably just go ahead and try 1-6 in order. Just to do it. I have not, as I have not revisited 1 and 2 in quite awhile.
There’s considerable debate about whether IV or V is better (the majority seems to favor V, but there’s a sizable minority for IV), but you’re the first person I’ve ever encountered who favors The Return of the Jedi over Star Wars.
I also found that… disturbing.
Machete order. There is absolutely zero reason to ever watch Episode I.
It’s really true, even though Episode 2 may actually be a worse movie. But at least the plot points in Episode 2, as ham-handedly and cringeworthily executed as they are, actually matter with regards to the rest of the saga. Episode 1 is utterly extraneous.
I voted for the first option, but I’ve changed my mind. Really only IV and V are worth watching.
Oh, I agree that it is odd, but I certainly can’t be the first person you’ve met. Heck, my wife ranks them:
Blah, blah, blah.
I know you haven’t met her, but I’m certainly not unique. In the minority, for sure, but not super unique.
I’ve been a fan of the machete order since first hearing about it around six months ago. I think that’s the way to go.
My second choice would be, in order of production. As was pointed out earlier, you should let George Lucas disappoint you in the order in which he intended.
What you cannot do (and you’ll see that so few voted for this option) is watch them in numerical order. I’m going to assume you’re unspoiled as to the Star Wars Saga. If so, there are HUGE HUGE HUGE thing that take place in Episodes 5 and 6. These things are pretty casually revealed in Episode 3 as if everyone in the audience already knew them from watching 4-5-6 first. It completely ruins the effect when you watch it in numerical order.
I say do it in the order that guy who was slowly showing them to his young kids did:
4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6
I’d agree that cutting out Phantom Menace will save you three hours and detract nothing at all from the story.
However, II and III are still pretty lousy movies, and to be honest I struggle to come up with a reason why someone should watch them beyond just being able to say you watched them. For all that it allegedly tells the backstory of Darth Vader, it really doesn’t. There isn’t really a coherent character study there; he’s a jerk, he sides with the Emperor. The love story is utterly flat and disconnected with the other events in the films. It takes the movies 5-6 hours to say “Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader and the Republic fell. The end.”
The idea that the Star Wars saga is about Darth Vader was invented after the original trilogy. The original trilogy is primarily about Luke Skywalker and the Rebels fighting the Empire. And frankly, it works. Darth Vader as the protagonist does not work.
Where does the term “Machete Order” come from?