Thirded!
Heck, even with a bra that fits OK, another bra of the same size and style sometimes will fit differently.
Yeah, where do you find those if:
A) You live in the flyover zone;
B) There is no Nordstrom within 300 miles of your house; and
C) There are no specialty bra stores within 300 miles of your house.
The highest end department store I can think of in my fair city is Macy’s. Seriously. Everything else pulled out. You have to drive 4 hours to find the nearest major mall with high-end department stores.
So if you live in East Bumfuck, USA… how does one go about finding a bra fitter? :dubious:
Personally, I’m beginning to think y’all are like unicorns. I’ve heard a lot about these mythical creatures called “bra fitters” but I must not be pure in heart because I’ve never spotted one.
Oh, and to the OP: Every woman’s two great quests in life are for comfortable shoes and comfortable bras. Chances are, what you think is sexy is probably not also comfortable. What she thinks is comfortable, you probably won’t think is sexy. Especially if she’s larger breasted. Do not attempt to make such a personal decision for someone else. Just go to the store with her and watch her try them on. How much more fun would that be than just buying one for her?
Note: Upon re-reading, I noticed you mentioned Macy’s. I have never even seen a human in the bra section of my tiny little Macy’s. Do ALL Macy’s have to have a bra fit expert working there, or do you take your chances with whatever retail queen happens to get rotated to that station?
Macy’s will do. Call Macy’s and make an appointment with someone in lingerie. They SHOULD have someone trained in fitting.
If not, next time you go to a bigger city (and I’d imagine you do once in a while, but maybe not?), get fitted and find a brand and size that works for you. Once you have that information - the internet becomes a workable place because you now have a model and size (until the manufacturer drops the model or you gain/lose weight).
And if that doesn’t work, find a girlfriend. Read up on the internet on what a properly fitting bra should fit like and how to use a tape measure to get a decent size. Then the two of you go shopping together - one fetches appropriately sized bras (and offers opinions) while the other tries on. Then switch.
I don’t know how East Bumfuck you are, but if there is a bridal store in your area, they may either have a Serious Underwear section or know of a local store that does. A lot of the underwear they sell at specialty lingerie stores is designed for wedding dresses, so there is a lot of overlap.
I agree here. I do not agree on the having your friend help you just because she maaaay not know what a good fit is. That is where I come in. And yes Dogzilla, I live in BFE but there are places you can still get fit. Plus for some reason they usually hire midgets for their employees in the bra section. Don’t ask me why…I should wear a flag on my back that is on a pole…no one can find me so I have to run around asking if everyone is ok.
As for the getting fit when you lose/gain weight and such, I recommend coming in to get fitted every six months and during your period (along with other times) since as women we change frequently. I personally don’t care if you buy anything but I do want you to be happy and healthy in the bra you are in. If it is doing you a disservice, it’s time to change. If I have nothing here for you, I will definitely suggest who does have it. 
Yes, I have been doing this for way too long. And yes, I enjoy it. Not like that. lol
OK, so now another question, and sorry to the OP for the hijack, but I think at least it illustrates why picking out a bra for your SO is maybe not the best idea.
So this fitter at Macy’s: am I being fitted only for the models/lines of bras sold at Macy’s? Let’s say I make this appointment and the only bras I’ve seen in there are what look like Granny bras to me. I’m looking for something a little sleazier… The same bra size won’t apply at Frederick’s or Target or wherever else I buy a bra, right? Because different manufacturers cut and size bras differently from each other, no? So what if I think all Maidenform brand bras are ugly granny bras? Surely my Macy’s “correct” size won’t be the same as my correct Vic. Secret size?
Yep. Even the down-at-the-dumps Macy’s near me (the store is fine, but it’s in a decaying mall) has one staffer who’s trained. She may not be on duty every day; I called once to see if they had someone and the answer was “yes, but she’s off until Tuesday”. So, phone first.
Oh, and while Macy’s may not be Victoria’s Secret, they do have some cute stuff. Not in my size, mind you (I’m in the OTSBH range), but even in my size, there’s stuff that doesn’t look like what Granny would wear.
Dogzilla, I try not to fit just for items in the store. I fit you with a measuring tape (sometimes I don’t have to but this just makes it seem more formal) and then grab a couple bras in different sizing…we need to know your GENERAL size. Unfortunately manufacturers are all different in the dimensions so there is no way to know if something will fit until trying it on. Plus styles change the fit. The reason I don’t recommend most demis for full breasted women is that they cut into the breast tissue and then you have what I call “clover boob” and it’s not lucky. Most people call it double boob. This is where a fuller cut bra comes in. It covers the breast tissue properly.
While you can go to vic’s, freddy’s or Target, it makes it harder to know what size you need. Victoria’s tends to be made by outside sources and for the most part very average, even to the point of small. Even if you find out the manufacturer, they tend to use different materials so that can change how it fits. As for Frederick’s, they do have a good selection of sexy bras but they aren’t the greatest in wear. In addition they don’t fit well, very inconsistent. Target sometimes has bras that Macy’s but in a very small selection and with less expensive material. For the most part they aren’t bad products but they will last less than the original, not by much though. If you find one at Macy’s you like, see if you can find it at Target or Walmart.
And definitely call to make an appointment. In addition I know that my store is having a Bali-brand fit event soon. Might be the same in your area. I also find that most women come on Sunday to get fit so don’t do that as there is not enough staff to help (usually only one person for fit and register) but saturdays people are just buying, barely getting fit. The best time is weeknights. It’s not dead it’s just that while there is only one person, people are usually getting home from work and trying to get week things done, not one of the least favorite things. I also recommend if you come to a fit event, make a day of it. Go with friends, have cocktails before or after. The fitter should make you happy (at least that’s my route) mentally as well as physically. There is no reason to make this an even more displeasurable experience. 
In the process of fitting, though, you’ll learn a lot about features of bras, and what works for you and what doesn’t. You can then leave Macy’s and go somewhere with “cute” bras and know just from looking what you shouldn’t even bother trying on. I know, for example, that there isn’t a single-hook-in-the-back bra in the universe that will give me the fit I want. I’m just to big for it to work and provide support. A single-clip-in-the-front, however, isn’t a deal breaker, as long as the bra has a fairly wide band in back.
You’ll also know what your size *should *be, which helps narrow down your search. She may measure you as a 36C, and you may find that a 36D works better for some styles or manufacturers, but you can stop trying on 40A bras! (Yes, many women are wearing bras that far off from their true size.)
One more thing, remember the size is just a number. Since you will be changing sizes your whole life, there is no reason to have a tantrum in the fitting room. The person there is trying to help you so don’t discount what she says. And you may get a lot of info, if you have questions either ask, write down or ask for the phone number there. Also, if you find one you like, keep the tag when you get it. While I do better with how somehting looks, doesn’t mean a style number doesn’t help to look it up for you.
And don’t forget: the band is about 90% of your support. Don’t use the straps (the two elastic pieces coming up from the cup onto your shoulders) to hike those babies up. If it doesn’t do what you want, try another. The lift zone you want to be in is mid range of your upper arm. Any higher or lower is bad. The band should be level with the breast tissue but can be lower, just as long as it’s not an upside-down U. This makes your breasts sag, where the cups and straps have to support all the weight. If it’s the right band size, adjust the straps as they can pull the back up and create unneeded tension on the nerves in your shoulders.
The bridal store may also sell the “sleazier” lingerie you’re looking for. I mean, their undergarments are designed for the wedding night.
Well, thank you all for all that advice.
What I do know already:
The only style that works for me, really, is a demi. I’m barely an A cup and rarely, if ever, fill out the top part of a fuller cut bra. Especially on the side where I had a chunk cut out of one last winter. What I find frustrating is so many bras are sold as demis, but they really aren’t, IMO.
Example:
Bra that I actually think is a demi.
In the top example above, there’s a big of extra coverage on the top part of the cup by the armpits. This fabric just puckers on me 'cause I can’t fill it out. In the bottom example, the true demi actually flatters me because I can actually fill out the entire cup and the girls are pushed up just enough so you can tell that I’m not a boy. 
In reagard to wear-and-tear: I really don’t care. Because $10 bras can fit me, if I try on a few around what my general size is – I usually play with the ribcage measurement, not the cup size. There’s no B cup I can pull off; it’s just a matter of can I fill out the A cup, and that depends on manufacturer, cut, quality of materials. I don’t care if a $10 bra lasts more than six months. I’ve never in my life paid more than $20 for a bra as there doesn’t seem to be a need to do so: it appears to be much easier to find decently fitting cheap bras in smaller sizes than in the larger sizes where construction for support really matters. These itty bitty things ain’t going anywhere so side boning and all that nonsense is just extra bells and whistles I don’t need.
The whole discussion about “you might think you’re a C, but you’d probably do better in a D”…? That just made me giggle. I’m an A. Trust me. There’s no possible way I’m cramming my boobs into cups that are too small for me. :: giggles again ::
A final note: I’ve been around to most of the bridal shops and adult stores in town (actually made a day of it with a girlfriend a couple months ago). None of them carried anything in A-cup-tiny-person sizes (not even the really sleazy & fetish stuff). They were all more than willing to order special for me, but if I’m going to pay that kind of money for lingerie, I might as well go to the mall.
DZ, what do you mean by paying in the ribcage measurement? Too big or too small? And what you are looking for is a specific demi, it’s termed a balconette or balconet. They work wonders on all sizes and I prefer them to the basic demi (the one you pointed out) that doesn’t cover well and gaps at the top since no one has breast tissue that high. Plus most women’s breast tissue is on the lower part of the breast, not the higher.
FWIW I’ve heard great things about {intimacy}Bra Fit Specialists available in larger cities.
Yes, but the ones designed for the wedding DAY are serious, no nonsense, these boobs will stay where they are put underwear. At least, that’s what the bra specialty stores around here sell. It seemed to me that maybe the bridal shops would sell that stuff directly if there was no bra store for 400 miles.
Well, I generally do well with a 34, but sometimes I can get a 32 or a 36 (if that’s the only A they have and I’m dying to own that particular bra) and either loosen or tighten the strap in the back––If it’s a 36 that’s running small or a 32 that’s running large. I can’t always get away with that. I hate a too-tight or too-loose bra.
And thank you for giving me the word for the type of bra I look for.
Speaking of vocabulary, To the OP: The word you are looking for is “push up” bra. Your SO may not know what a “cleavage” bra is or may make fun of you for using that word. All bras, essentially, are cleavage bras. You want her in a push up bra. Also, avoid the word “brassiere.” It’ll just make her laugh. Or make fun of you. (I would.)
DZ, if you are trying a 32, try a B, in a 36, try a AA. These are equivalent cup sizes when you change band sizes. The width changes but other than that, the depth remains about the same.
Will do! Thanks!
Look in the phone book (I assume they have phones in EBF) for any kind of lingerie shop that caters to mastectomy patients. Seriously.