Help!! It's a fuzzy little bunny!!

Factual Questions
1

So I’m sitting on my couch last night, watching television.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I spot something moving across my hallway!
What the fudge?! Is that a rat?!
…No, it’s not a rat. Too small…A mouse?
No, it’s a goldurn little baby bunny!!
Now, understand: if I were in a big house in the country, I would not find this too unusual. But I live in a second floor apartment! How did this damn thing get in here?
Actually, the apartment below me is empty, and they have been doing extensive renovations, so I could believe it could get in there. But can a bunny climb?

Anyway, the poor little guy was obviously lost and bewildered. I apprehended him with little difficulty or trauma. I set up a temporary home for him in a box with some kitty litter, shredded newspaper, and an old t-shirt. I gave him a dish of water and some bread.(Hey. I’m a bachelor guy! I didn’t have any fresh veggies to hand.)
Then I left him alone for a while to chill out. When I checked back in an hour or so, he still seemed pretty scared. I petted him a little and sang my new “It’s allright, little bunny” song, which he seemed to like. He calmed down a bit and drank some water. Well, it being by that time about 1 a.m., I went to bed.
I slept a bit late this morning and had to head straight to work, but I took a minute to check on him. He seemed more or less okay, and had eaten some of the bread.

So the big question: now what?
I’m thinking of keeping him. (He is darn cute!) So, what I’m asking of you folks is: any advice/suggestions for caring for a young, probably wild baby rabbit? Do I just feed him hamster pellets, or what? Should I be concerned about catching some weird disease?

Also, will entertain suggestions for naming him. And yes, I already thought of “Bugs”.

2

I bunny-sat a few years back, for a friend who was out of the country for six or seven months. The bunny made a darn good pet. They do like to chew things - so get some clear plastic tubing to protect your electrical wires and avoid frying the bunny, and kiss your wicker furniture goodbye.

My name suggestion is “Hopalong”.

3

Forgot to mention - pet stores sell Bunny Chow, which looks to be pressed alfalfa pellets. Mine also used to drink quite happily from a hamster-style drip water bottle, and loved yogurt-covered raisins (also the pet store variety).

There was a bunny leash for sale, too, that promised you could take your bunny for a walk. I dragged her halfway down the block, against fierce bunnyish resistance, before concluding that the damn thing was a waste of cash. Don’t buy a leash.

4

What was the name of the rabbit monster in Monty Python and the Holy Grail? That would be a good name. You know the rabbit I’m thinking of, the one with, “big nasty teeth!”

My brother caught a baby bunny when I was little. My brother was learning to speak German at the time so he named the rabbit Hosenpfeffer(SP?..it’s German for ‘rabbit’).

5

[li] Check your lease regarding ‘pets’.[/li]
If your lease allows pets, then continue:

[li] Read everything you can on rabbits and their care. This is the most important step of all![/li][li] Find a good veterinarian that deals with rabbits. Have it checked out for diseases, parasites, and general health). [And to make sure it’s really not a “Mexican Pet”].[/li][li] Get a sturdy cage large enough for the critter to stand up in, move about and stretch out fully.[/li][li] Remember, this is living creature, not a knick-knack to be forgotten on the shelf. Play with it daily - it will need the interaction.[/li][li] Do not let it run about without supervision, unless you want it to chew up the wood furniture, nest in your laundry, and bite through electrical cords.[/li]
As for names:
“Oswald”
“Bun”
“Cutiewiddlefuzzaball, yesyouareanrentyou!”
“Hase” (German for ‘rabbit’)
“Lapin” (French for 'rabbit)
“Lepus” (Latin family name)
Darned near anything from Watership Down, especially “General Woundwort”

I don’t believe the MPATHG bunny with “nasty pointy teeth” had a name.

6

Poor bunny! He must have been so scared.

While you’re deciding what to do, get that bunny a salad! Bread is no good. Rabbits need a steady supply of dark green leafy vegetables - not like iceberg lettuce; it is almost all water and has little nutritional value. They shouldn’t have too many carrots either - too much sugar (the green leafy top is good, the orange root is not so good). Bunnies also do best with a constant supply of timothy hay - not alfalfa. This is all explained in more detail in the following links:

http://www.rabbit.org/care/index.html this also has a section on caring for wild orphans.

http://www.homestead.com/hoppydaycare/Bunnybasics.html

http://www.petgazette.net/new_page_9.htm

And whatever you do, do not get another bunny without having them both neutered! You should probably get this one neutered anyway even if you don’t intend to ever get another.

7

When I was in high school, my parents found a beautiful lop-eared English rabbit in our front yard. We took out ads in the local newspapers thinking some poor child was losing sleep over his missing bunny, but no one ever called to claim it.

Soon enough we realized why: bunnies love to fuck!

During a certain time of year they go crazy with Wabbit Lust. Your now cute little bunny will become a single-minded sex fiend, existing only to hump anything even slightly warm - your leg, a pillow you’ve been holding, any other pets you may have, etc. And a gentle slap to the head will not deter it, either - nothing will stop its fanatical desire to drench everything with bunny semen.

I once dropped a soccer ball I had been holding to my chest, only to have that lewd bunny immediately attack and starting humping it. Needless to say, the ball started rolling when he tried to mount it, but the bunny was not deterred, and only increased the frenzied pounding of its hips. The ball finally came to rest against a fence, sporting a nice wet spot and a tired looking bunny draped over it. Quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

He also loved to chase our mild-mannered cat around in an attempt to make it “squeal like a pig.” Our cat had to seek refuge in a tree in the backyard to escape from becoming Bugs’ bitch.

During those few weeks of lust, that damn rabbit was the most frustrating thing you can imagine. We’d push it away twenty times, smack it upside the head, scream at it…and yet still it would try to molest us. Even my father, possibly the kindest and gentlest man to ever live, once became some frustrated with that rabbit that he grabbed it up and tossed it twenty feet after it had tried to hump his leg for the 15th time. The bunny landed, looked a little dazed, then came running back full speed and pounced upon his leg!

8

mood: unneutered bunnies are prone to sexual frustration, probably more so than dogs and cats in my opinion. Neutering will usually eliminate the behavior you describe. Tapswiller, that’s why you should get this one neutered if you decide to keep him, even if you don’t get another one.

Poor bunny, he wanted a girlfriend and all he got was a soccer ball. At least he didn’t catch your cat.

9

When I was growing up we had a couple of pet rabbits. The female ran away promptly, the male we had for almost 10 years. As mentioned above, he would be fresh with anything, including dogs!

You feed them rabbit pellets, which you get at a pet store. You give them plenty of water, and you change their restroom facilities regularly. They do not do much except burrow when they have the opportunity, eat, poop, pea and hump. They will bite from time to time.

10

I just looked it up. The grail is in the cave of Kyre Banorg but I don’t know if that’s the rabbit’s name (the cave being his) or if the rabbit just guards the cave.

Ah well…would’ve been funny if it did have a name.

Source: http://www.muffet.com/jokes/comedians/python/holy_grail.html

11

ROTFLMAOPIP!!
That was one of the funniest posts I’d read in ages!

Glenoled

12

Whatever you do, don’t name it “Bun-Bun”.

13

Good thing you didn’t have a Holy Hand Grenade at your disposal, Tapswiller. :slight_smile:

14

Yeah, Atreyu I used my last Holy Hand Grenade last week on a suspicious-looking hedgehog.

But seriously, thanks for all your input, folks.
Special thanks to missbunny for the useful links. (And who could have guessed that she would have a special interest in this subject?)

screech-owl,
Since you don’t know me and you meant well, I will forbear from being insulted at your comment:

Don’t worry. I know.
Also, I haven’t made up my mind yet, but “Oswald” is the front-runner so far.

Tranquilis,
Funny comic! And that’s the first time (that I know of) that I’ve been quoted in a sig line.
::bows::

15

I fear I’ve cost you some dozen hours, while you catch-up on the affairs of Sluggy Freelance, Tapswiller.

The Laser-Guided Claw Attack[sup]tm[/sup] made me bust a gut, as I could easily see doing just that with one of my cats. I wonder how rabbits react to laser pointers…?

16

Thank you for not taking offense. I realized after I hit “send” that it might have been a tad harsh.

Unfortunately, I do know two people (two too many, IMHO) who treat their animals as part of the furniture: one has a cockatiel that has never been out of its cage since the day they got it seven years ago and do not interact with it (they change the cage and feed it, that’s it); the second has a gorgeous Golden Retriever chained in the backyard - again, they meet its basic survival needs (food, water and shelter) but no interaction.

Thanks for not being like these two.

17

Uh, ARE there wild bunnies in northern Oregon? Is it likely that it belongs/ed to some kid in your building or neigborhood?
We had a very fresh bunny, too. Made our small male cat’s life hell. They also seem to love purple cabbage (to eat, not to hump, although I’m sure they’d do it , too). A salt lick is also good. Don’t try to give it a bath-- the scratches will take a while to heal.

Oh, and there’s also Bunnicula, from a dark-humour kid’s book about a vampiric bunny that was current when I was a tyke.

18

capybara,
Yes, wild rabbits abound hereabouts. Lots of wild things, actually. I have personally seen: rabbits, raccoons, muskrats, beavers, mice, and gophers. Also at least three species of hawk to prey on them, and a couple of great horned owls.
As to it belonging to a neighbor kid, that had occured to me. I doubt it, but I plan to ask around.

19

Hey Tapswiller! Are you a Cheap Trick fan at all? If so, name your bunny “Carlos”! Geddit? Geddit?
Sigh Yes, I was just going out anyway…

20

Mmmmmm… rabbit stew …