yes I’m very insecure, I’m aware of that (mind you, you wouldn’t know when you were talking to me, I know how to hide it very well)
it might sound like i have relational problems as well, but I’m just insecure.
I don’t want cliches, I don’t want to accept that it’s small, I want to believe that it’s not. which might sound silly but I can’t help it.
I know I’m not inadequate, I know how to make my grilfriend climax, I can tell she really loves sex with me (this might sound, erm, I don’t know the right word, arrogant?)… but she’s not the one that unhappy, I am. I’m probably just jealous, because the whole thing came up when one of her best friends who she’s very close with (I do trust her 100% so that’s not the problem) told her he had 16 cm… she reassured me that I was at least as big, but after measuring it turned out I wasn’t.
we did talk about it a lot, and she doens’t care. she liked me before we knew the size and she still likes me as much now we do know… she’s really helpfull and understanding.
still, I can’t help but be bothered by it. sigh.
What aspect of your life be better if your penis was 0.377 inches longer? You wouldn’t get to wear a sign that said “My penis is larger than average”–no one would know. No one (besides us Dopers) know that the one website you cited labels your penis as below average. Would you get paid more if your penis were 0.377 inches longer? Would you be smarter? Would you be a better conversationalist? Would you be able to read maps better? Why does it matter?
What could you do before that you can’t do now? The answer: enjoy your existant sex life. That’s the only acceptable answer. You have not changed as a result of “knowing” that your penis is below average. (Look at the sample size of that study–only 401 males. And they were all at a nightclub in Cancun. That doesn’t account for regional differences. What if you are slightly below average in Cancun, but you had a monster schlong in Oslo? Also, do you think guys with very small penes would volunteer to have their wang exposed and measured? Methinks not so much, so the sample size might have an extreme proportion of large-dicked guys, not representative of the world population.)
Dude, your girlfriend’s objective assessment of your penis was that it’s above average. That should tell you that it’s a perfectly normal size. If it was tiny, she would never have mentioned it to you, nor would she have challenged you to get the ruler out.
Unless of course, she secretly hates you. But that doesn’t sound likely.
Dude, this thread is making me so sad. Penis size doesn’t matter, or it shouldn’t. People who really care have bought into some porno “ideal” which isn’t really even ideal, it’s just a product of the stupid “bigger is better” meme which has given us, as Cecil put it, megavitamins and expansion baseball.
I’ll get really personal here, and I almost never do this on SDMB, so be honored: I’m a gay man who likes smaller-than-huge dicks. Or I did, when I did such things. More than a mouthful’s a waste, and all that. It’s been explained to you how a female’s sexual pleasure is not at all inhibited by a 5.5 inch dick. You’re just insecure because you’re “below” some average length which you feel you’re supposed to compete with, or something, as if you competed with the color of your eyes. Your dick isn’t your biceps, you know. It’s an appendage, like your nose or your feet. You don’t have any control over it, and neither does your gf – who is happy by your own account.
In short, you need to get right over your – I’ll say it again, YOUR – ideal of “big dick is good.” It’s a myth that’s been marketed to us, and you’ve bought into it. It’s false. Your dick is fine. Love it. Your girlfriend does.
It’s not the size of the tide - it’s the motion of the ocean.
It’s not the sword - it’s the swordman.
The truth is out there if you care to see it, bald men get girls, guys with combovers, well, not so much, let’s say. This always baffles the combovers, they never understand that what women are attracted to in a bald man is actually confidence and maturity.
Maturity to accept what they cannot change, get over it, realize they are more than their hairstyle. This is the same maturity that helps short guys score. Again the maturity to accept what you cannot change makes you a bigger man to the chicks no matter how height challenged you might be.
Recognize that you have created this uncomfortable situation for yourself. Your girl is happy, no one has ever laughed and pointed, your doctor isn’t making suggestions. You’ve created this for yourself.
I mean if you’re gonna get all bent about something why not the colour of your eyes, or your height. Get yourself all worked up about it, but at the end of the day you’ll be in the same place with the same equipment. Accept it.
As my Mom used to say to us every day;
“If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, count yourself as lucky !”
Seriously. There are guys with no dick, there are guys with silicone-injected Bagel Dog dicks, there are guys with horrible skin conditions all over their dick. You, on the other hand, are apparently hiding the sausage on a regular basis. Get over yourself!
Have you considered the possibility that if you were, er, substantively longer, sex might hurt her? Have you further considered that, had you measured, say, 18 cm, you might think “Oh, my dick is so big I don’t need to worry about using it properly to drive my girl wild”?
Oh, and she’s choosing the guy with a shorter (not smaller) dick. Think 'bout that. What’s keeping her from jumping ship onto a cruiser, hmm?
On the other hand, there’s the driving notion that you aren’t intensely bothered by this so much as you want us to talk you through being bothered (“Aww, there there, Timestamp, would it be any more tolerable if I flashed you/sent you cash/sucked up to you online for the next hour/gave you copious cyberhugs/etc.”). For the next five pages or so. We are not a sex therapist: subscription rate would cover what, about five minutes of competent sex therapy?
My emphatically non-professional suggestion to you is to A) see a (possibly sex) therapist about this or B) realize that your girlfriend, who seems to be quite loving and honest with you, would probably have found a way BEFORE NOW to tell you if she wanted to try things other than penetrative sex. Like, say, romantic comedies or competitive sausage eating.
Are you (other than the “If I only had two more centimeters…” thoughts, and I’m sensing you care more about this than all other humans in existence) experiencing subpar sex? Is she? If the answer to both of these things is no, I respectfully submit that there are more important things in life. Pie, for one. I like pie.
that only tells me that SHE thinks it’s normal. which IS important but she could be wrong. And I currently hope we’ll be together forever and she’s the only person I’ll ever have sex with for the rest of my live, but I can’t know that can I?
That’s an easy question : because she loves me.
Thanks for the replies, I already realised I was overreacting, but I can’t help it. Maybe I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or something.
Well, if she’s seen more than one (and it sounds like she has), and thinks it’s normal, it’s probably pretty normal.
And even if it’s not, it’s just a dick. They’re entertaining and all, but they’re really not that big a deal. (I have no idea how big my husband is, or where he falls on the bell curve. He’s of a size to satisfy me without hurting me, which is the only measurement or comparison I give a rat’s ass about.) It’s not like your penis size defines who you are as a human being, for heaven’s sake. Penis size doesn’t even define you as a man or as a sex partner, unless you’re just horrifically shallow. I mean, really, if your girlfriend was devestated because she’d always thought her breasts were “average” and found out they were slightly less than average, you’d think it was pretty silly, right?
You probably wouldn’t challenge your husband to measure it… I guess it’s possibly more the way that I found out that made it bother me so much. If someone assures you about something, you believe them and feel good about it, and it turns out differently, it just doesn’t feel good at all. Well for me at least.
If we were for some reason discussing the subject of exact measurements, you bet your ass I’d challenge him to measure it. Of course, I’m fairly sure he feels confident enough that he’d be neither delighted nor disappointed, no matter what numbers we turned up.
Still, I once wanted to ask if it was in. I knew it was, but I wanted confirmation as no definitive docking was percieved, and Mission Control was confused.
I so hate faking that they’re doing a good job and turning me on.
Thus far, I can think of six pity fucks where I had to fake it and find someway to have an orgasm to complete the illusion.
just think for a minute…what the hell ya gonna do about it. Let this ruin your life, surely not. It doesn’t sound like you need viagra or any enhancement drugs. There are no miracle pills that’ll enlarge your penis. You might get an implant but that’d involve a knife. Makes me shrink just thinking about it. I’ve heard of guys getting a surgical extension. Where they basically cut your dick off and add a piece to it from a donor. I don’t know how much truth there is to that. Although I’ve seen some pictures that sure look like that’s what has been done. There are “sleeves” you can wear which add size but probably won’t do you much good. Especially when she gets used to the larger phallus and you’re still packing average.
Just eat healthy, get plenty of exercise, work on your technique and get lots of practice. Damn man, appreciate what you’ve got now. Trust me on this. Be happy and let her know how happy she makes you. If you love her, tell her. Tell her everyday. Tell her every single day. Because one of these days…that could change and you will regret the things you should’ve done rather than obsessing on things that don’t really matter.
Get over it, you are a very lucky man.
