Help me change my life

In My Humble Opinion
1

Dear Dopers,

I find myself in a bit of a quandry with regards to what I want to do with the rest of my life, and so naturally I turn to you for your thoughts and advice.

I currently work as a Senior Account Executive for a Marketing Communications Agency, which basically means that I make sure that a bunch of posters and leaflets get translated, printed and delivered across Europe for our client. I’ve been doing pretty much the same thing for over two and a half years, and while I’m comfortable with what I do, I don’t particularly love it.

Don’t get me wrong - I get along fine with everyone at the office, and the pay, while not great, is still reasonable. The job isn’t particularly monotonous or stressful, although it does have it’s bad days. In short, it’s just a job - I neither love it or hate it - it’s just something I do from 9 - 5.30 to pay the bills.

So here I am, 28 years old and with plenty of life (hopefully) still ahead of me. I’ve just come back from a vacation where I had the time and space to examine my life and my goals and think about my job. I thought seriously about looking for a new job, but I came to the realisation that perhaps what I really needed was a change of career.

There is so much more out there for me. I don’t have to be a marketing exec all my life if I don’t want to be, and to be perfectly frank, I think I need to find something more meaningful and more fulfilling than Marketing. I want a job that makes me happy, that makes me excited to go to work in the mornings, and that makes me feel satisfied and proud when I come home at night. I’ve tried hard to think of all the things I truly love doing, and I have to say that if I could really be anything I wanted, I’d love to be a writer.

However, I know that it’s unrealistic to think that I can just quit my job, start a novel and start living off my writing, so I guess I have to temper my dreams with a little reality. Perhaps I should go back to University, get a Masters degree in English Language and Literature, then do a PhD and start teaching as a college professor?

I’m not sure what I should do - there are just so many options open out there that I don’t even know where to start looking. How do I know which career is right for me? How do I know what will make me happy?

Apologies for the long and rambling navel-gazing, guys, but I’d appreciate your thoughts and advice on this. I’m planning to make a major change in the course of my life and it’s a little daunting…

2

This could all be quick and painless. First a couple of quick questions.

I’ve tried hard to think of all the things I truly love doing
Can I assume that you are in fact regularly writing?

I’d love to be a writer
By this do you mean that you would like to spend hours a day filling a blank screen with words or do you mean it would be nice to have already written a book?

I hope my tone doesn’t lead you to think I’m being a smartarse but if your answer to each question in yes you’re on a winner.

3

I’m currently working on a book, but have been for a while - I write in fits and starts, but haven’t ever completed anything as life seems to get in the way. :slight_smile: So to answer your question, I think it’s the actual process of writing that I love - creating a world from nothing but my own imagination and filling it with living, breathing people.

Yes, I’d really love to complete a novel and see it published, but I’m not deluding myself as to how hard that will be. I understand that it takes a lot of discipline, determination and commitment to finish a book, let alone a successful one.

However, even if I quit my job to focus solely on writing, it’s not like I can expect to make a living from it. Not until I’ve had at least a couple of novels published, at least.

4

Very good. Most people who want to write deep down really see themselves being introduced as so and so the writer and have little interest in the process of actually writing. Now that we’ve established that you’re not doing that we know that your desire to be a writer is genuine and in all likelihood perfectly realistic.

What you now have to do is work out ways and means of solving the problem posed in your last paragraph.

Do you have a regular writing routine?
Have you read someone’s book on writing (say Stephen King) and attempted to follow their advice?
If so what works and what doesn’t?
Is the stuff you’ve already written serviceable? When you reread something you’ve forgottrn writing do you get a little glow of “that’s pretty good”?
If you wanted to make an additional commitmnent to writing would work be flexible about hours?

5

One thing I would suggest is starting out by taking breaks, too, if you feel the juices aren’t flowing in your own creations, and write short bits of fan fiction to a favorite show or movie - or just original stuff. www.fanfiction.net and www.fictionpress.net will gladly host such things.

Also, don’t get discouragedTry Print On Demand if publishers/agents won’t take your work. But, before that, make sure several people have read it who will critique it and help you become better.

Finally, good luck. I had the same feeling with law, after a bit of burnout I stopped doing that for a while and concentrated on my writing and have been blessed with seeing two books published as POD books, and people are buying them. I’m not making lots of money, but I relieved my stress, reordered my priorities by getting myself situated where I only had to do wills and estates and a few other small things & not litigating. And, it’s great. I feel like witht hat and all my church involvement, I’m doing things that matter for eternity, helping pple, building them up instead of tearing others down.

If I’d sought to write to make money, of course, I’d be a failure :slight_smile: But, that’s the whole point - you seem to write because you love creting that world of yours and sharing it with others. And, that’s the whole fun of writing.

If you have any further questions, I think my e-mail’s in my profile if you want to get in touch with me.

6

I used to have a semi-regular routine which consisted of bringing my laptop into work and writing during my lunch break, then devoting another two or three hours to it at home in the evening (if I could stay awake). That hasn’t happened for a couple of months now.

I’ve been following Holly Lisle’s advice on writing, which can be found online at www.hollylisle.com. I’ve found her site to be very informative, helpful, and motivational. Her most useful piece of advice so far has been to break the process of writing down into a series of realistic goals. Fo example, giving myself two months to do the initial rought plot outline complete from beginning to end, then another two months to write three-page backgrounds on at least six major characters, etc. Based on this schedule and a modest target of 500 words a day, I figure it should take me at least a year to complete a 90,000 word novel. At the moment, I’m still in the early stages, creating my characters and drawing together all the background info for the world the book is set in. I Have the plot outline finished, but am not scheduled to start actually writing the thing for a while yet…

My main problem has been finding the time to write consistantly. I get home about 6.30pm and am usually too tired to do anything more than a couple of hours after dinner. At this rate it’ll take me ages to get anywhere, but I suppose that’s where the true test of my dedication lies - in forcing myself to make time for my writing and forcing myself to work at it even though I’m stoned from a hard day at the office.

When I do find the time, however, I think my work is actually pretty good (surprise, surprise!). When I sit and think through a problem in the plot, or figure out a new angle on a character’s personality, I get a warm happy glow that satisfies me like nothing else. It’s truly a joy to watch a story take shape, and to know that it works and is believeable. Nothing else makes me happier than seeing the characters interact, and I guess the reason I want to be published is not so much for the money or for the recognition, but to share this thing I’ve created with other people and hope that they like it too…

Anyway, I won’t get time off from work to write. But even if I could write full time, what am I going to live on?

7

No, no one step at a time. You’re not giving up work yet I was only asking about flexibility. For example working longer hours some days to have half a day off another day. Anyway it will need some thought because the evidence of the last couple of months is that your schedule isn’t suitable for your goals and needs adjustment. It’s no different to a work problem - competing priorities, finite resources, limited time but there are ways to make things work.

8

Fine, I see what you mean. However, my situation remains the same, in that I’m feeling unfulfilled by my current career and need to find something else. While writing is certainly enjoyable and remains my ideal career, it doesn’t address the immediate problem. In other words, spending more time writing on the side would be great, but I’d still be doing my day job, which is less than great. I suppose I can stick with it a few more months while I look for something else, but it’s the exact nature of that “Something Else” that currently eludes me, hence my rambling OP…

9

Now you have refocussed the problem. You job that in the OP you neither love nor hate is now less than great and obviously the root cause of your unease.

First step is easy and will fill in the next few days.

You realise of course that you can get just about any job you want. You also realise from our earlier talk that there is away around any problem so any obstacles don’t really need to be considered yet - they can be resolved later.

OK now find out whats out there. Bare minimum is newspapers, the internet and at least one employments agency. It’s best to make an early decision about geographical location - if you are quite happy to entertain the idea of pulling up roots you can start to cast your net wider immediately.

10

I’m pretty sure I want to stay in the UK, but as a start, how does one become a College Professor? I think teaching Literature or even Creative Writing would be wonderful, but I have no idea how to get there. I’m not cut out for anything scientific, mathmatical, statistical, or financial. And I don’t have much of a head for business, so I’m not sure what my options would be…

11

You might consider a few talks with a careercounselor. They are all over the Yellow Pages. Basically, a careercounselor will first help you clarify what your talents and interests are. He’ll do this by analyzing your previous jobs, hobbies or volunteerwork, or by letting you take some test. Then, he is supposed to know about jobs that fit these talents and preferences. He might be able to tell you how to get into these jobs. For instance, what additional training is needed.

At least, that’s what careercounselors in Holland will do. I’ve no idea if USA-ones provide the same service. Does anyone have any experience with one? I’d really like to know…

Good luck Bibliovore!

12

Thanks, Maastricht. I’ve tried looking for Career Profiling Resources online, but the ones I’ve found so far have been pretty amateurish and unhelpful. If anyone’s got any pointers, I’d be really grateful.

13

The OP is evidently English, not American. But I imagine career counselling is much the same everywhere.
(Queing the Monty Python sketch…)

Vocational guidance counselor!
Vocational guidance counselor!
Vocational guidance counsellor…

Ah there you are Mr. Anchovy. Do sit down…

14

You could become a Lumberjack!

“I’m a lumberjack, and I’m OK…”

if you want to write, why not travel to somewhere that inspires you to write? Make a journal of your trip, write about the things you find there or on the way.

Whatever you decide on, make sure it’s what you really want to do.

15

A few thoughts…

First, why the focus on writing fiction? Have you considered freelance writing? There are hundreds of publications that need content on a broad array of subject areas.

Second, are you certain that you’re ready to start writing a lengthy work of fiction? Are your writing skills and understanding of the mechanics of novel writing that refined? If not, you will spin your wheels and waste precious time when you’d be better advised to take several advanced writing courses. Not only will you learn the unappreciated complexities of this craft, but you also will be able to network with other writers and learn the ins and outs of the trade. (BTW, you should also be reading–a lot. There is no substitute to learning from the pros.)

Third, changing careers is a serious proposition. With all due respect, seeking guidance on a colossal life decision from an online “expert”–or from strangers on a message board–strikes me as a rather poor idea. The process of changing careers demands intense introspection. You’d be well advised to sit down with an expert who will mentor you through a potentially complicated process. On a related note, lots of networking on your part will expose you to plenty of fascinating careers.

Last, if you want to be a serious writer of good fiction, you should reconcile yourself to an exhausting schedule, constrained social life, and to pushing yourself on and on when all you to do is crash instead. Many writers get up very early (4 a.m.) so they can devote their best hours to writing–and then put in a full work day. The path to becoming a serious, successful writer is filled with onerous demands. There are no shortcuts. That said, if you’ve got the talent and fire, you can achieve almost anything.

16

I have one of those fulfilling jobs. It’s fulfilling and meaningful, I love my work, I serve people, I’m privileged to do what I do. I’m trained as a social worker, I work as a therapist. I work in a great community agency that has it’s heart and priorities in the right place, the whole human services bit. And I dread coming to work pretty frequently.

Sometimes I wish I had one of those jobs I didn’t have to give a shit about. I wish my job was to move boxes from one place to another all day. At least then I could bitch about it.

“fulfilling” doesn’t buy you a nice car - get comfortable with that.
“fulfilling” is still a pain in the ass cause at the end of the day, work still sucks.
“fulfilling” comes from the inside. Learn self acceptance first, cause writing is still work.

17

Thanks for the heads-up Carnac and greck, and for the encouragement. I think you’re right in that this is going to need a lot of thought. After talking with my family, I think I might be taking the wrong tack in trying to look for fulfillment in my work - perhaps I should just count myslef lucky that I have a secure and steady job that I don’t hate, and look for fulfillment outside of work.

Creative Writing classes certainly wouldn’t go amiss in helping improve my skills, but I’m certain that I’m going to continue with the novel as well. My reasoning is that if I keep putting it off until I feel I’m “good enough”, I’ll never get started. And as my username suggests, I do plenty of reading. :slight_smile:

I think that perhaps the most useful thing I can do right now is manage my time better. Waking up at 4am every day sounds daunting, but I’m prepared to do it if that’s what it takes to get this book written. My biggest challenge will be in maintaining the necessary self-discipline, and forcing myself to work on it when all I want to do is have dinner and watch TV. I realise that it’s going to be hard - I just hope I have the strength to see it through.

18

I could have written that OP word-for-word about myself (although I am 27 and don’t live in Surrey).

Not to be a downer, but the older I get, the more I see that this is a common occurence, and worse yet, that too many people just accept this as their way of life.

For exactly two and a half years, my job has led me nowhere. While comfortable and not overly stressful, it is doing nothing for me, and as a result, I find myself longing for something that I internally debate is even there.

College professor would be wonderful. I’ve always loved school (miss it very much, actually).

Okay, I didn’t mean to whine about myself. I agree with Carnac - good writing could start with freelance non-fiction material.

Also, someone recommended to me a book that has apparently assisted millions in their writing:

The Artist’s Way : A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
by Julia Cameron

I had never heard of this book until about a year ago. The day after hearing about it, I strolled into Waldenbooks, having forgotten entirely about it, and ran smack-dab into it, as it stuck out from a shelf. Amazed by the coincidence, I bought it, but even more amazing than that, have not read it. As you say, life has just gotten in the way.

19

Do you mean that you want to be strictly a fiction writer, or just that you want the primary portion of your job (however that may end up being structured) to involve writing in some form? Or some combination of the two? Or just that you want to do something that has more of a “big picture” impact than what you’ve been doing?

If you’re talking about creative writing, I unfortunately don’t have much guidance for you. But there are tons of other jobs that involve a large amount of writing…mine, for example. Do you like research? Do you like persuasive writing? Have you tried technical writing? How much have you been involved in the creative side of the writing that must go on at your job, or are you strictly a logistics-type person?

Also, it sounds like you have a fair amount of evaluation and brainstorming ahead of you. One of my favorites for channeling your thought processes in this department (and in a previous life, I was a job counselor for refugees – long story) is What Color is Your Parachute? Amazon review:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1580082424/103-7592651-6997435?v=glance

It has all sorts of self-guided brainstorming exercises for people who are exactly in your situation. It’s a great book, and I heartily recommend it. I’m also a big fan of volunteering, if there’s a type of organization (especially nonprofit) you think you might be interested in working for professionally. Volunteering is never wasted!

[P.S. This would possibly be a Pit thread, but my Plan A upon enrolling in grad school was to get a Ph.D. in political science and become a college professor, but I have since been thoroughly disabused of the notion that a) academia is any less full of micropolitical B.S. than the private sector, and b) that being a college professor primarily involves either pursuing knowledge or assisting other people in pursuing knowledge. Things may be somewhat different in your neck of the woods, but it’s certainly worth investigating before undertaking anything of the magnitude of a Ph.D.]

20

I just wanted to do something more meaningful and satisfying than what I’m doing now. My current job is very much a logistics and admin type of position - lots of paperwork and billing and client contact, but absolutely no creative input at all. It’s not good or bad - it’s just a job.

My long-term, “ideal” goal is to write fiction for a living, but I know I can’t just quit my job and start cranking out novels, so my plan was to change careers to something more fulfilling while continuing to write on my own time until I get a few published works under my belt. My “alternative” career doesn’t have to involve writing, it just has to leave me with a sense of pride and satisfaction when I come home at night, so this could be anything from teaching to forestry.

However, as I mentioned earlier, my conversations with my family have lead me to believe I might be taking the wrong approach. Very few people in this world ever get the kind of fulfillment I’m looking for from their jobs. changing careers is a huge step, so perhaps I should be satisfied with the steady job I have in Marketing, and look outside of work for that fulfillment. Maybe I’ll find in in volunteering, maybe I’ll find it by focusing on my faith, I don’t know. All I do know is that my writing will be a constant in my life regardless of whether I stick with this job or find a new one.

Apologies for the rather vague and self-absorbed nature of my posts - I guess I just have a lot of thinking to do…