I’ve told my mother that I’m cleaning her bathroom when I come home for Christmas. When she said she would rather I not, I told her that she had the choice of doing it herself before I came home or having me do it. Regardless, I said, she deserves a clean bathroom. You see, my mother lives in third degree squalor. Her house has been pretty bad for quite a long time, but I was completely taken a back the last time I saw her bathroom. It is completely covered in mildew. I can’t imagine feeling clean after washing in it. I felt dirty just standing at the doorway.
I’ll be home in a week and the realization that I don’t know how to tackle this job has hit me. I’m hoping that you, my dear dopers, can give me some of your best bathroom cleaning tips. What do I need to be prepared with other than buckets of bleach? Will I be able to do anything about the mildew on the paint in the upper part of the shower stall? Help! I have the will to do this, but not the knowledge.
(FWIW, I’ve also recently found a therapist for my mother in hopes of helping with some of the problems that have led her to this mess.)
Bleach might not be sufficient and you might want a respirator because of the risk of health issues should you disrupt mold spores.
Really, if conditions led to mildew and you have doubts, that’s one heck of risk to go in there and possibly disturbed what really might be mold spores and damage everyone’s health, especially yours. Bleach can’t take down many types of mold and a pro strength bio agent might be needed.
You might want to see why using bleach is actually dangerous:
How socially isolated is your mother? Does she hold down a job or visit other people’s homes on a regular basis? Could it be more helpful and healthy for you both if she were to visit you at your place and just breathe in the difference for a few days?
If it was me, I might pay her a visit, but I’d stay at a motel… and if she presses, say why.
Mom does hold down a job and, to people who meet her in day to day life, appears completely normal. My sisters and I worry that she’s suffering with depression and, after several sessions with her therapist, she’s starting to wonder if we might be right. I believe she visits one of my sisters somewhat regularly (maybe once every couple of weeks), but other than that she more or less only sees her own home.
Visiting my place is something that happens, but is probably somewhat different than what you’re imagining. I live in a monastery with a bunch of nuns, so it isn’t a regular house she visits. It more closely resembles a retirement home in its layout. I’ve only been living here since late June and she’s come to visit three times. Once for a weekend, and two day trips. I think she attributes any difference she might feel her to the contemplative nature of a monastery.
As far as my visit home, I should clarify. I will be staying at my father’s house. He lives in the same neighborhood as my mom, so going to her house to clean isn’t a big deal other than, you know, the cleaning bit.
Mom wants a nicer home, but she doesn’t know where to start. I have neither the time nor the inclination to clean her entire house for her. I don’t think that’s the answer. I have hopes that once she starts dealing with her depression and getting her mind and spirit a bit more in order that she’ll want to get her house in order as well. For now, I want to get her bathroom clean because it isn’t sanitary.
Thank you to the posters who have offered practical advice, particularly Hello Again with her mildew removal tips. That’s exactly the sort of information that I need and don’t have.
Good luck with the job. You’re doing a nice thing. I used to clean like mad every time I visited my mother, too. It was pretty bad. Encouraging her to continue therapy is also a very supportive and loving thing to do. I don’t have any great cleaning tips–lots of Comet, ammonia and hot water, and bleach and hot water, (but NEVER ammonia and bleach together) and scrubbing. It feels good in a way, to clean something really dirty.
I don’t know if you can check out “How Clean is Your House” on TV but someone uploaded a lot of shows to YouTube. The ladies have some good tips, and you’ll see houses and apartments in squalor. Your mum isn’t alone.
Just kudos for being a good daughter when it’s a tough job.
Follow the other people’s tips for the mildew… I’ve been there, done that. These instructions are for if you have to clean to get to the mildew removal stage.
You need some concentrated commercial bathroom or all purpose cleaner, spray bottles, a foaming tub cleaner, some plastic putty knives, and a toilet bowl cleaner with acid. Also lots of terry rags and paper towels.
Pick up all the crap, use gloves, tongs and the plastic putty knives.
Put the concentrated cleanser into the spray bottle at one of the lower dilutions and spray over the dirt that has measurable thickness. Let soak then scrape up with the putty knives.
Keep doing that in layers until you get down to actual surfaces then clean them the regular way.
Foaming cleaner can damage some acrylic surfaces but it is indispensable for tubs and showers. Remember, clean in layers. The surface can sometimes emerge in like new condition having been protected by grime.
Same technique with the toilet. Layers and repetition.
Do not try to wash the shower curtain, bring a new one with you. Same goes for the toilet seat and bath rugs if they exist.
Here’s one other tip; spilled shampoo and such that has hardened and is impossible to clean because it just gets foamier can be defoamed with fabric softener and you can then go at it with whatever works best depending on the age and depth of the spill.