Help me come up with a topic

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’ve been resisting this for a while, but now I’m down to the wire and I still have nothing.

I have to write an argumentative paper for school. It’s short- two and a half to three pages.

I don’t want to do anything super popular that everyone else has done a bazillion times. So no abortion, gay marriage, or uniforms in schools.

I don’t want to do anything super-political. Nothing about specific people, the role of sexism or racism in the election, whether the electoral college is out of date, etc.

I don’t want to do anything really boring.
The only two I’ve really come up with are based around my pet cause/interest.

First, personhood for apes. This has a few problems- first of all, I think people on both sides of the issue are a little nuts, so while I think the issue is fascinating, I have trouble writing a rah-rah argumentative paper advocating either argument. Also, we have to have to have resources and I’m having some trouble finding anything really good.

Second, the bushmeat trade and its effect on apes. This one isn’t great because it’s a very complex problem and one most people aren’t really that familiar with. So it would be difficult to explain it in two and a half pages, much less explain it and present an argument. Also, the main argument would be “this is important and people need to pay attention and help,” but I don’t want to do that unless I have some ideas of HOW people can help. Plus it’s such a heartwrenching and difficult subject that I’m not sure it’s worth the tears and the late-night breakdowns to my best friend (which bores the crap out of her. She could not care less about gorillas or Africa.) all for a stupid paper.

So if anybody has any ideas, I’d love to hear them. I’ve been reading a lot about bushmeat and trying to find a way to mold it into a proper short paper and am feeling really angry, drained, and helpless right now, so if you have any ideas that could not in any way involve the word “horrific,” that would be ideal.

2

Can’t help you with either of those subjects, but how about something along the lines of ‘The age of asymmetric warfare has rendered the civilian / soldier divide obsolete.’ Plenty of cites from WW2, Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq.

3

If you want to go in a completely different direction, consider silly. An argumentative (we used to call these “persuasive” back in my day, isn’t that an interesting change?) paper on, say, why Pushing Daises shouldn’t be canceled. Crunchy peanut butter is superior to creamy in every conceivable way. Toilet paper should be hung loose end over, not loose end under!

Umm…shoes on or off in the house? :smiley:
Remember, for a good paper, you not only have to come up with reasons in your favor, but you have to come up with reasons against you, and then you have to refute them. This is the part most students forget, and my husband spends most of his office hours trying to drag the other p.o.v. out of them and many of his hours at home asking me why they can’t seem to get it. I think it’s because they tend to choose things that they feel are very black-and-white issues. Those seem like they’d be the easiest (and least boring) to write about, but in fact they tend to make lousy papers from early writers.

In essence, you must create Straw Men, but they work best if they’re firm and convincing Straw Men. I suspect you’d have a hard time being as momentarily objective as needed to form even a moderately pro-ape-eating stance. It’s a lot easier to learn the form and demonstrate that you’ve got it if you’re not quite so passionate about the topic.

4

Tackle the need for a meaningful playoff system in college football…

Or the abomination before all that is right and holy that is baseball’s designated hitter rule…

5

That was going to be my suggestion! Okay, I’ll just have to go with ordering milk in a bar or de-clawing cats. :smiley:

6

Resolved: God is.

Failing that, I like the one about peanut butter.

7

I actually thought about shoes on or off and declawing cats and indoor/outdoor cats… mostly when I was browsing through Great Debates hoping to be inspired.

Thank you for the suggestions, ** featherlou, WhyNot, Oakminster, Quartz, and UncleNito**.

I’m leaning toward something as fluffy and shallow as possible, like… Why Pants are Awesome or Mr. H Should Not Eat Tootsie Pops in Class if He Isn’t Going to Bring Enough For Everybody. It’s English 101 and the point is to demonstrate that I can write an argumentative paper (which I totally can), not impress everybody with my super-awesome knowledge and totally educated opinions on important and complex issues… all the anxiety is just me being neurotic

8

I suggest “Baggy Pants - Just a Style - No Need For New Laws” or “Baggy Pants - I Don’t Want To See Your Crack”.

“Smarter - Cats or Dogs?”

“The Simpsons is The Best Animated Sitom - Ever!” - “Southpark is Better Than The Simpsons (you idiot!)”

“Mother’s Day, Father’s Day - What Hppened to Kid’s Day?”

9

I’ve seen a lot of students looking for resources for this type of paper (academic librarian).

My favorite was the student who was arguing that we should continue to consider Pluto a planet.

10

Reclining your airline seat. Yea or Nay?

11

aha, this sounds just about perfect.

Relatively current, nothing heartbreaking about it, but I’ll certainly be able to find resources.

Thank you, I think that’s my topic.

12

I agree that you need something that separates your paper from the other students.

How about: “Who was the greater US Postmaster General: John Wanamaker (1889 – 1893) or Hubert Work (1922 – 1923)?”

I’m sure you could get a couple pages out of that one.

13

Toilet seat up or down.

Toilet paper roll under or over. (This one is always a crowd pleaser.)

Toothpaste: Roll up from bottom or squeeze in the middle.

McDonald’s Vs. Burger King.

Blondes vs. Brunettes.

Star Wars Vs. Star Trek. Dork Wars!

Shaving vs Waxing legs.

I like the idea of a silly argument.

14

You are sooooooooo sexy.

15

“Are straight roads better than crooked roads?”

That was the subject set by my English composition teacher several decades ago. He set it every year, apparently.

16

Is this a high school project or a college project?

17

IF you want to stick to animals how about ‘exotic’ pets. Should people be allowed to have tigers/alligators/monitor lizards as pets?

18

I wanted to say thank you so, so much for all the ideas.

The topic I finally settled on is the ape pet trade. How it contributes to poaching/bushmeat, why it’s a bad idea even though they’re adorable as babies and there are lots of movies with people and their darling pet chimpanzees, etc.