Help Me Create A Snooty Menu

Cafe Society
1

You have all seen the menus I am talking about - fancy descriptions for basic foods.
Come up with your own items for a menu that would appeal to wealthy snobs and then let us know what it REALLY is.

My entree:

du beurre d’arachide et de gelée $18.95

Coarsely ground Georgian legumes blended together to create a fine pate, delicately layered on a dough made of finely ground wheat that is mixed with fresh spring water and hearty yeast and baked in an earthen oven. Garnished with a delicate puree made from sun ripened grapes that are hand-picked by Incan ancestors from the vineyards of Napa Valley.

(Peanut butter and grape jelly on white bread)

2

Nouilles et fromage en casserole.

Stone-ground semolina pasta all’uovo in a Béchamel enriched with Tillamook Cheddar and served au gratin.

From the Newbery Award-winning children’s book From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Rich Mrs. F invites Claudia and Jamie to lunch and instructs the butler to serve nouilles et fromage en casserole. Claudia is excited about the fancy dish until she finds out that it is nothing but macaroni and cheese.

3

Artisanal Hydration Elixer - A combination of natural base elixers designed to maximally hydrate the body and soul.

2-cent plain (tap water)

4

I really enjoyed this. I went a little overboard and created an appetizer and dessert, too (hence the username), but I’ll limit it to the entree.

Delicate slices of cured grass-fed beef in a smooth béchamel sauce served atop crusty artisan bread.

Also known as cream chipped beef on toast, or shit on a shingle.