On Thursday, I attended a “job fair” put on by the US Patent and Trademark Office (PTO). The job fair consisted of an information session and an interview. The interview went well, with the interviewed actually telling me once it was over that “it was a great interview.” I’m working on my thank you note and was hoping I could get a few extra eyes to help edit it. Thanks in advance for your help.
It looks good, just about what I wrote. I’m not very good at writing but.
I fixed the couple of things that seemed strange to me. I also contacted a mod about removing your phone number, at least from the post.
Dear Mr. Interviewer,
I’m writing to thank you for taking the time to interview me this past Thursday at the job fair.
After speaking with you and attending the information session, I believe that I would fit well in a job as a patent examiner at the PTO. Many components of this job (including the amount of research, the reporting and the hands-off work environment) fit well with my existing skills and I believe my natural curiosity, persistance, clarity and self motivation would be valuable assets to your company.
I would love the opportunity to discuss this position further with you, and can be contacted via email at this email address and via telephone at (703) XXX-XXXX.
Thank you again for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Lord Il Palazzo
Thanks Edward The Head for catching the phone number thing and Czarcasm for fixing it.
Good suggestions. I’ve incorporated several of the suggestions into the letter. I’ll be sending this out later today so if anyone has any more suggestions, I’d love to see them.
I would change “persistence” to “enthusiasm” or “passion.” “Persistence” had a negative connotation IMO.
I believe self-motivation should have a hyphen.
If you DO use the word persistence, spell it persistence, not persistAnce. (Punditlisa used the correct spelling in her comment to you, but I didn’t know if you would notice the change, so just making sure.) Good luck!
I’m going to have to stick with persistence on this one. I am trying to have the list of skills compliment the components of the job (listed in the previous sentence.) I think that curiosity and persistence are good matches for a job that’s (very) heavy on research.
I have corrected the spelling of “persistence” in the note. Edward the Head pointed that one out earlier. And yes, “self-motivated” should be hyphenated.
The sentence starting ‘Many components…’ obviously has something missing. Probably ‘of the’. But you could phrase that sentence better by reversing the sentence and saying, ‘My skills fit the … very well.’
Well, okay, but if you happen to use that in your letter, the correct word is “complement” not “compliment.” You’re not touting your grammatical skills, I see. 
Personally I think it’s too long.
One of these should go. Also I would think that your resume and interview covered your skills. You should really come across as someone who they want to hire, not someone who is desperately needing or wanting the job. A simple thank you, you’re still interested in the position, and contact information would suffice.
If it was a job fair then this guy will be getting dozens of thank you email that he won’t have time to read.
Everyone handled the advice portion, so let me just chime in to say good luck.
I’m waiting to hear back from a potential employer, and the wait is killing me. (Just two more days!)