That’s a great idea, however - you are giving them something to work with in arguing you into accepting their clutter. All they need to say is “I cannot afford that” and suddenly the burden of proof is back on you to convince them that you shouldn’t accept their clutter.
‘No’ is a complete sentence. ‘No - sorry’ is a polite, complete sentence. Repeated verbatim, it becomes a clear, polite, complete sentence.
“Can we store our stuff in your basement?”
“No, sorry.”
“Why not?”
“No. sorry.”
“It is only temporary, and you have all that space now, and I promise we will pick it up as soon as our daughter moves out, so that won’t be a problem. How about if we drop it off next Saturday, around 10:00?”
“No, sorry.”
Etc.
You have dealt with your problem (and kudoes to you and mr. ButStrong for doing so), they have not. Don’t let them make their problem your problem.
The relatives want something open-ended. This gives them a foothold into your house because sure as shootin, they’re going to NEED to come over and retrieve something or put something else in. All the time. Or at some time when it’s convenient for them and inconvenient for you.
And who’s going to haul all that shit down your stairs, doubtless gouging holes in your drywall at the time? They will? With zero help from you? Right.
For the relatives who are temporarily downsized, I’d be slightly more willing to bend the rules… but not eager to. A storage space is what, 50 bucks a month? And a hell of a lot easier to get stuff into and out of - no stairs! Depending on the relationship and your own finances, maybe offer to chip in on that to help them out (but not open-ended!!).
For the relatives whose daughter is in college? Screw 'em. If they got new furniture and want to keep their old stuff for the daughter, that’s their problem. They could have timed the new furniture purchase a lot more in line with the daughter’s college plans. Have they had the old stuff around their house for a while? Then let 'em keep it. You should not be put to that level of inconvenience because they want to to stuff for their daughter. If it’s not worth 50 bucks a month for a couple of years, then it’s NOT WORTH HANGING ONTO.
And as you (and others) have said - that space isn’t unused, it’s just open. You do use it. If you store freeloaders’ crap, then you can’t use it.
Heck, I used to have the notion that IKEA was “egg crates” and then I started noticing that in many home decor magazines, showing ridiculously-big houses (a single guy living in a 4B2b? jeez golly gee, if I had that kind’a cash I might also be able to afford silk cushions on the leather sofa…), pretty much every single house would include something from IKEA. A large, flat, no-nonsense table. The kitchen. The children’s room.
And yet, it’s all cheap enough that if you want, you can throw it away or give it as a hand-me-down without feeling like you’re wasting your children’s inheritance.
A pity the OP’s relatives are the kind who’d furnish their house with IKEA, then decide to redecorate it completely… and try to put the old furniture in storage. In somebody else’s space, of course :smack:
Introduce them to Craigslist and freecycle. The primary pain of letting go is usually not so much the personal security blanket thing (That’s attached to a few items, but not the bulk) but seeing useful items go to the landfill.
Another suggestion would be that they find a young couple or newly graduated kid who might use the items for a year or two, then return them for use by the family.
Yes, that is the problem, but don’t make it your problem. Don’t offer to pay for it, or help build it. Because the next time they need a shed, you’ve set precedence for it being your problem. Just say “Sorry, no” and you can add to that complete sentence “have you considered a shed? Or Craigslist?”
It would be one thing if you were an unreformed packrat. Or maybe just another regular slob who didn’t really care if the basement had more crap in it.
But your not. Your a reformed/reforming packrat, surrounded by others which is bad enough. You’ve worked hard to get where you are. Your probably in danger of relapsing for that matter. And like all such “problems”, it often doesnt take much to return to old habits.
So, for you and your situation, keeping crap out is even more important.
Its like asking a reformed alchoholic to host bachelor parties all the time because they can be counted on to remain sober and drive everyone home. Not fair at all, and certainly not a good idea.
Print out all the responses you’ve been given and show em to hubby and whoever if you need backup for your position
I was going to ask if any of these people could get a storage shed of their own, that’s definitely something to recommend. A nice shed could be equal to a few months of storage and if someone (your husband) is going to help build it that would cut the cost even more.
I am also a packrat (Hi Susan!), I have not managed the level of declutter that you have but every time I manage to go through and toss some junk and free some space I feel great*. I can only imagine what it would be like to finally have a lot of extra space and I would not let anyone else store their junk in it. Stand your ground, let them know how hard you have worked for your extra space and how you want to keep it for special projects, not fill it right up again. Suggest storage sheds or a garage sale to sell their stuff and tuck the money away into an account that they can use to buy new furnishings for when they move. If they are absolutely desperate and have a few precious items that they cannot store, I would only agree to store a couple boxes (no furniture) and with a time limit. I am also tempted to say to charge them a fee, but they are family so ask for some other favor in exchange.
*This actually sort of happened to me. I had decluttered some of my house when my mom went into a nursing home. Some of her furniture and stuff was dropped at my house. I was reluctant to just donate or sell it without sorting it because I knew there might be some precious family heirlooms or valuable items in there. Most of it was “junk”, not worthless but not precious, but there were a few valuable collectible dolls in there that I found. Somehow most of the precious family heirlooms went elsewhere, hopefully to my sister. Anyway, I have been sorting and rearranging this stuff for a couple years now when I can manage to find the time. I was going to have a yard sale but I can’t work up the enthusiasm for it. I think I will just donate it and get a receipt so I can claim it on my taxes and at least get something for my time and space.
You’ve already made your decision, SBS, but here’s another argument: in the long run, you would NOT be helping your relatives by taking in their clutter. You would only be enabling them in their own packrat tendencies.
Another “polite lie” should you need it: “Oh, we’re thinking about finishing the basement. After all, we’re using it so much!”
Actually, it’s not a lie. As soon as you read that, you thought about it, didn’t you? You may have instantly realized that it wasn’t a good idea because of cost or humidity or whatever, but you thought about it.
Really, I think you should just repeat these two things over and over as often as necessary:
“I’m sorry, but we’re using that space for other things.”
“No.”
All great advice above. The one other thing I would add is that these people can sell their stuff (Craigslist, yard sale) or donate it and take a tax deduction and apply that money to purchasing new or used items that exactly meet the needs of their new situation. I bet dollars to doughnuts that’s exactly what they’ll do, anyway, leaving their crap in your basement.
Don’t feel bad about saying no. They wouldn’t be asking you for this if they didn’t have problematic clutter issues.
