Help me fend off a clutter invasion.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My name is StarvingButStrong and I am a Clutterholic. [Chorus: Hi, Susan] I come from a family of packrats AND I married into another. I won’t bore you with details, but while our house never got to the ‘narrow trails between mountains of junk’ level, it was definitely past the ‘being unwilling to allow anyone inside that isn’t a close blood relative’ stage.

Anyway, I saw the light and have been uncluttering over the past five years. Yes, that’s a long time, but I had to do it slowly and ‘gently’ to keep myself from getting overwhelmed and giving up AND to keep my husband from freaking out. At the moment, things are pretty good. All the rooms on the first floor are presentable. Upstairs three of four bedrooms are fine, and the last is being worked on. The attic…well. I haven’t started on that yet. It’s time will come.

But my pride and joy is the basement. It has gone from nearly that ‘trails between heaps’ stage to largely empty. Each corner has a ‘function’, and holds only things truly needed there.

One corner has the mechanical stuff – furnace, water heater, etc.

One is the laundry, with washer/dryer/sinks/ironing board/drying racks and a single shelf that holds soap/stain treatments/softeners/dryer sheets/etc and its front edge has a rod so you can hang up shirts and such to finish drying.

One corner has hubby’s work bench, tool boxes, pegboarded walls for other tool storage and several large wall mounted shelfs for storage of lumber and such.

The last corner is simply ‘storage’, and I mean storage of only things we actually use at least annually. There are six sets of those large metal storage shelves spaced there. Two are my ‘pantry’ for canned/jarred goods, the rest hold, oh, christmas ornaments, suitcases, a thirty cup coffee maker, fans, electric heaters - ‘stuff’ but its all stuff that we genuinely use.

The rest of the basement is empty space. Which is wonderful to have. We hosted a quilting bee for our church’s womens guild over a few Saturdays. We set up a ping pong table for a few months last summer. Even hubby has confessed it’s wonderful to have space freely available. He’s actually tackled some projects like refinishing our dining room chairs, now that there’s room to spread the things you’re working on out and not have to always be squirming past heaps’o’junk everywhere.

Me? I still get this flush of pride every time I go down to the basement. It’s clean. It’s orderly. It’s functional! Go me!
Long intro, but here’s the problem:

We are now being pressured by some relatives to let us store stuff in our basement. In one case, it’s furniture/appliances that the couple want to hold onto for their daughter’s ‘first apartment’ after she graduates from college. (She’s a sophmore.) In the other case it’s a couple who have been forced to downsize from a house to an apartment ‘temporarily’ due to a job loss and they have tons of furniture and boxed up stuff that won’t fit.

Both groups say they have no room for this stuff in their own places, but they still want it. And why should they pay for storage units when we have plenty of open space it could go in?

And hubby feels ‘they’re family’ and we should help them out.

I HATE HATE HATE the thought of undoing all the hard work I’ve done. :mad: At the same time, I feel like I’m being evil and selfish and dog-in-the-mangerish. I’m not ‘using’ the space, why should I deny it to others who need it?:frowning:
Because I don’t really believe it will be ‘just’ for a year or two. Who is to say the daughter will end up getting an apartment nearby? Because what’s the point of shipping used furniture across the country, when she could buy used furniture probably cheaper than the shipping? (And that’s all it is, ordinary used furniture, not antiques.) Then what? Do we continue storing all that stuff for her three-year-younger brother???

As for the other couple, they’re getting close to retirement age. How likely is it that he will quickly get a job that pays what he used to earn? How long would it take for them to save up a down payment on a house? (They’re pretty much looking at declaring bankruptcy.) Would they ever really buy another big house, anyway? A condo or a retirement community probably are more likely. Why not sell the furniture for what it’s worth now, and replace it when/if they end up in a larger place?

My gut tells me that if this stuff gets into our basement it will basically be there ‘forever.’ And it will breed – if we let THEM store stuff there, why shouldn’t we store someone else’s camping equipment? And someone else’s yard furniture, it should be under cover during the winter but THEY have no room in their house/garage.

Because, as I said, all of our relatives seem afflicted with the pack rat gene. :frowning:

2

How exactly are they related to y’all? I ask because I want to say, ‘put your foot down’, but realistically this might wind up being something you’ll get stuck doing.

Maybe you could come up with some written agreement about how long it stays in your basement before it goes to the dump?

3

I’m with you, stand your ground and don’t even let them think about storing it on the front porch either!

A garage or pole barn I would agree to, maybe…Who the heck wants to haul heavy crap down basement staircase?

4

But, the empty space in your basement IS serving a purpose–it is your peace of mind.

If it were me, I would simply say, “I can understand the situation you are in right now, however, we are just not able to store your crap in our basement.” Period. Yes, that space has a purpose, and no, it’s not anyone else’s business what that purpose is. (“We like to play naked tag every other Thursday and need the space in the basement for when we’re IT, 'cause we like to REALLY move about.”)

5

I’m sort of in the same position. Sort of. I have a huge unfinished basement, but I hardly have any of my own stuff down there (not a hoarder in the least bit). So the bulk of the stuff in the basement is taken up by relative’s stuff that they swear they will need again someday. I personally don’t mind it because I don’t really have a need for that space they’re using.

I don’t think you should do it, because of all the hard work you’ve put into the situation. HOWEVER…

Do you just have the basement completely open or are there walls/dividers? I had mine completely open for 3 years, with stuff just sort of stacked around in the corners. Then this spring, a friend came to live with me and I walled off 1/3 of the basement to give him a decent-sized room. It amazed me how much BIGGER the basement seemed once there was a new wall…because now there was more wall space on which to put shelves, and more corners in which to store stuff.

The “wall” we made was just eye hooks in the ceiling beams, a vinyl rope, and dark sheets from Wal Mart (about $60 total).

So now I have his room on one side of the basement, the furnace/water in the middle (with a bit of storage space between, one quarter for all of my brother’s and friends’ junk, and another quarter for laundry. Honest to God, it seems 10x cleaner and open than it used to.

If Hubby insists on storing this stuff, maybe you can convince him to create some sort of room for family junk. Stack it high, stack it tight, and keep it out of your sight.

I also agree that you need some sort of written agreement about when it has to go, if you decide to do it. And, under no circumstances do you agree to do any of the heavy lifting. Screw that!

6

I have an idea. How about suggesting that the basement has been leaky in the past, or the washing machine hose burst once and made a mess? In other words, lie in such a way that your basement is no longer that desirable. Since you’re being asked to make such an open-ended commitment, I think you’re wise to try to avoid it. If they value their stuff, they should be willing to pay the fees to rent a storage space. (And if they don’t want to pay the fees, they should be willing to get rid of the stuff.)

7

If it aint worth it to store the stuff somewhere for 50 bucks a month, it aint worth it period. Or in otherwords, it its not climate sensitive VALUABLE stuff, or something UNIQUE/SENTIMENTAL…DTMFSA.

A few boxes of collectable books or whatever that can be put up out of the way? Maybe. A big old grandfather clock? Perhaps. A shitload of other people’s crap? Hell no. And honestly, most people stuff really is crap when you get down to it. And I’ll fully admit most of mine is as well when push comes to shove.

I think you analyzed the situation quite well in your original post.

8

Charge them a storage fee. Seriously. If they want to use your space, they should pay you for it. Draw up a contract, and in the contract, specify that the fee is $X per month for X months, and that after X months, the contract can be rewritten. Also, feel free to put in a date when the junk has to be out of there, or it gets sold or dumped.

Currently, my husband is storing his own guns AND everyone else’s guns in our den, and I’d like to have that space back, as it was my sewing room before the guns moved in and took over the room.

9

Lynn said exactly what I was going to say.

Your relatives are effectively asking you to subsidize their storage. You are paying for that space yourself already, in your mortgage or rent payment (or you paid for it at one time). That space is being used for quilting bees and home improvement projects - that it what you pay for that space to exist for. If your relatives are not willing to acknowledge that they are imposing on you, then that’s too bad for them. They may not see it as a serious imposition, but it clearly is one to you.

Honestly, I’d advise just saying no and standing firm. But if your husband won’t say no, make it unappealing AND worth your while. The only other thing I’d suggest is that in addition to Lynn’s, $X for Y months, I’d make sure there’s a square footage amount in that contract. That way if you do get wrangled into it, you can duct/masking tape/wall off the amount of space they get, and it WON’T breed.

10

Just. Say. No. You have no obligation to give them free storage. None. If you WANTED to, it would be one thing, but you don’t want to. Even if you were willing to give up the space, saying Yes will cause and endless number of problems:

[ul]
[li]They will want to add to the pile.[/li][li]Other relatives will ask to store things with you, too.[/li][li]The stuff will stay with you for years longer than you planned.[/li][li]Then there will be a blow-up about it.[/li][li]In the end, there will be hurt feelings and resentment on one or all sides.[/li][li]No good deed goes unpunished.[/li][/ul]

11

“I’m so sorry, but we use that space for our projects. Did you see the chairs that Hubby refinished!”

To your husband “I have not spent the past five years getting rid of my own possessions so that I can store our relative’s crap. If the space itself wasn’t important to me, I’d have kept my STUFF! And your STUFF! We’ve sacrificed our STUFF for space - and I’m glad we did - the space has been worth it. I really don’t want to give up that space to store someone else’s CRAP.”

(My stuff is stuff, your stuff is crap.)

12

I’m a packrat from a long line of packrats, I have not decluttered (just moved to a bigger house ;)), and I wouldn’t do it.

If it were a short-term, definite-end-date situation, it would be different. We’ve currently got a few items stored for my step-daughter (although most of them are actually being used, not just stored) because she’s young and broke and will need them again when she moves this summer. But the used washer and dryer that she got for free and might or might not need again were traded as payment against the cleaning and repairs needed at her previous rental.

Store a bunch of used furniture and appliances for several years with no guarantee anyone will want it at that time? Nope, not happening.

And you’re right - if you store for these folks, then you’ll become the local storage center and end up with your basement full of other people’s crap.

I like the idea of charging them for the storage space, if there’s no way you can just refuse entirely.

13

“I’ll store your stuff for you as long as you board my rattlesnake for me. He needs to eat weekly.”

StG

14

Don’t do it! We’re in the opposite situation, in that a relative who moved out had promised to clean out her stuff in the basement… and it’s been there for a couple years now. Do whatever you have to, make a polite lie about water damage, whatever.

If you absolutely, positively “have” to do it, either charge, or make a contract that the items will be thrown out if not picked up by [very specific date], then send a reminder letter a month before and follow through on the action.

This is not unused space. This is your important workspace, not a place for random crap to go.

15

But that space is in use. It’s used sometimes to host quilting bees, and sometimes to fix chairs, and all the time to MOVE in, which is not something that can be done in a space that’s completelyfullofstuff,butImeancompletely,totally,floortoroof.

Once this thread reaches a couple pages, print it out, roll it up, hand it to hubby :smiley:

16

either charge for the storage or tell them no, we have plans for that area.

your plan for the area is, of course, to keep it clear for you to use.

there is a reason why ikea is so very popular. it is because that is the furniture and stuff you buy when you move into your first place on your own. the daughter in question will want her own stuff for her own place.

17

In addition to all the great replies thus far, I think you have a few more options.

Specifically:

  1. Fire!
  2. Move away and start anew (is that even a word?)
  3. Nuke from orbit.

One other thing, you try these at your own risk and do hereby absolve me, Covered In Bees, of any and all responsibility for any financial issues and/or great bodily harm.

Have a nice day! :smiley:

18

There are few things as painful as letting go of Precious Stuff. I am quite the packrat, but generally I do know what I have and can put my hands on whatever I need, if it’s something that I actually will need. I have a lot of books packed away, and I couldn’t tell you which box contains which book. Part of the excitement of getting a box out of storage is that it’s like a treasure hunt. Anyway, you will have the disadvantage of not having your Space, combined with the disadvantage of not having your Stuff. Unless you’re getting paid cold hard cash, or someone is willing to swap cleaning or cooking services for this storage, I’m not seeing an upside. The family members will not be very grateful at all. Neither will Hubby.

Also, in your contract, you need to specify that you are not responsible for ANY loss or damage, no matter what.

19

Wow, great responses! And not a single person called me a selfish bastard. :smiley: I definitely like the repeated arguments that the space isn’t unused – it’s simply being used for things OTHER than storing stuff/crap. Yes!

With the force of the Dope’s Moral Authority behind me, I am now DETERMINED that we will not be storing anything for anyone else. Could possibly make a future exception for some true treasure/guaranteed short term situation – which the current situations aren’t.

Dung Beetle, one couple is my aunt & her husband, the other involves my cousin and his wife. IOW, fairly close, and both on my side of the family, making hubby even more of a saint for his ‘gotta help family’ stance.

ZipperJJ, yes, the basement is all one room. It’s actually not as large as you’d imagine from the outside. It’s an old house, and has had several additions over the year, but the basement is only under the original ‘footprint.’ The idea of walling off a set area, or marking it with tape or whatever is excellent IF we were to agree to the storage, but I’ve decided this is one of those ‘hills I will die on’ decisions.
**
Dewey Finn**, whoa, what an excellent point about the ‘leaky’ basement. In fact, the situation is even worse than that: we have a sump pump that runs at least five months a year AND the humidity down there is always high throughout the summer. This is why I only store canned/bottled goods in my pantry. Cardboard boxes get ‘soft’ and any food inside would quickly become inedible.
Absolutely they should not store furniture down there – upholstery would get mildew, veneers would pop off! It’s for their own sake that I won’t store their crap. :wink:

THAT is precisely the heart of the matter. It took a great deal of effort, physical and emotional, for me to dig us out of a bad situation. (Non-packrats may not understand that it can hurt to get rid of things, but it’s true.)

And it pretty much was all me – hubby didn’t care about the cluttered state so he sort of ‘sat it out.’ Actually, worse than that, he didn’t want to get rid of most of the ‘stuff’, it took long, careful conversations to get his agreement. Over and over and over. He even holds a notarized promise from me that I will seek out and buy him a replacement for anything that we got rid of that he decides he really misses. (So far there hasn’t been anything. I did buy him some new ‘work clothes’ to replace the several boxes of old ratty clothes he was saving for that purpose.)

So Hubby’s siding with the relatives, well, it felt like a slap in the face. All that work and it’s like he was shrugging it all off. Must explain this to him, I guess.

Oh, and LOL about the stuff/crap distinction.

And I woke up this morning with a wonderful(ly evil) idea.

The problem is that these people don’t have enough space, right? Well then, the solution is for them to gain some space!

(Okay, the real answer is that they should get rid of some of their other stuff, or the stuff in question, but I think it’s like quitting smoking: you know you should, but you have to decide to do it on your own. No one else can make you do it.)

Anyway, the couple with the college kid own a house with a nice big lawn. There’s absolutely no reason they cannot tuck a storage shed somewhere on their property. Hide it behind some shrubs or something if they don’t want to look at it.

I took a look at Sears.com, and they offer dozens of models, in sizes from tiny to bigger than a real room, all prefabbed and ready to put up. Only a day or two to assemble. And way cheaper than I imagined! If you’re willing to go with metal instead of wood, look at
http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_07168222000P?mv=rr

That’s $500 for 10’X12’X7’ of storage space. How can you beat that?

Why Adding A Storage Shed Is Better For Them:

  1. It’s right at their back door. Meaning they can add/remove items from storage easily, instead of having to arrange to stop by our house and drive ~30 miles round trip each time. No hunting for a truck to borrow for bulky items.

  2. It’s ground level. No hauling up and down the basement steps!

  3. It shouldn’t be damp, assuming they do the floor right, so it’s much safer for their stuff.

  4. It’s way more space than they need for the kid’s stuff, so they can store other stuff! Move the mower etc. there and be able to park in their garage!

  5. (and really important) They’ll have so much space they can store stuff for other relatives! Like the downsized couple! Won’t it be great to feel you’re helping others out? :wink:

  6. Heck, it can be a money maker for you! Charge the other people for storage, say half as much as they’d have to pay a commercial place, and that income will pay off the storage for you.

Additionally, I’m sure hubby will be happy to help putting it up (he actually enjoys building stuff) AND we could even chip in some money.

Wow, doesn’t that sound so totally amazing and wonderful that they should fall in line behind it???

More important (from my POV) does it sound so reasonable that they should go that way, that it will take the pressure off me? It’s one thing to refuse really needed help, quite another if the person ‘in need’ is refusing to solve his own problem in a way he easily could.

20

Yes, it does. Of course, they will quickly fill up that space with their own stuff/crap, but that’s NOT YOUR PROBLEM. You can sit in your basement, quilting or whatever, and not have their stuff in the way.

My back yard has two sheds, and one is all storage. It’s great to have someplace to put the excess boxes of books. I keep my books because I love them, and no, I can’t check them out of the library because libraries generally purge old SF and fantasy books pretty thoroughly.