We’re now putting threads asking for anecdotal medical advice in IMHO, to emphasize that any responses you get are only the opinions of the people posting, and that your best bet is always to talk to your own physician.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
(bolding mine)
Hiya Doc Righteous and Mr. Hyde,
I know the feeling. The first possibilities that came to my mind (thyroid problems, menopause, depression, insist that this is an emergency bc your job may be in jeopardy) have all been mentioned already.
I am going through similar issues that are creeping through into my work, too. In my case, I apologize when I’ve dropped the ball, no excuses. Then when things have calmed down a bit, I tell people what’s going on. Not to make excuses and assume I’ll get a free pass to fuck up with impugnity, but to let them know why it’s happening, so it’s not ascribed to bad attitude.
Please note the bolded area. For some reason, this part here leapt out at me. Unless my nasty old stepmonster has somehow crept into your brain (and if so, you have my apologies), this sounds pretty harsh. Really–your whole post is a frank description of what’s going on, your anxiety, the implications, etc., but this one bit sounds like (pauses to put on ersatz Freud mustache, puff on fake Freud pipe) you’re also coming down pretty hard on yourself in a no sympathy, pick-yerself-up-by-yer-damn-bootstraps, by cracky!-type way.
You’re your only advocate right now. You’re reaching out for ideas here, which is much better than worrying alone. What else can you do? Is the bloodwork also mid-March, or sooner? Can you try calling the docs back and insisting that your situation is urgent, or can you visit someone even off your insurance to at least get some feedback and/or coping skills?
Right now it seems to me that not only are you putting in a lot of effort, but there is no way to ‘step it up’ to ‘make it stop.’ Whoever is telling you that shit needs to STFU. The last thing you need at a time like this is my stepmonster making you feel like this whole thing is your fault and you’re clearly not trying hard enough. I know it’s frustrating as hell, but try not to listen to the mean voices, ok? 
Listen to kinkiNipponTourist. There’s some good advice in there. Beating yourself up about this is only making it worse.
Mine’s on thyroid problems. Dr. R., bump this thread up and give us an update once you’ve seen a doc, okay? Partially out of idle curiosity (who won the bet?) and partially because we are worried and we do care.
I vote for peri-menopause. It started in my mid-40s and it was the sleep issue. Like, it it’s 3:30-4:00am, why am I awake and why can’t I fall back asleep? At the time I mentioned it to a friend was was a little older. She said “welcome to the 4 o’clock club!”. Ugh, unfortunately, it’s a long winding road to and through menopause. Like about 10 years. Yeah, I know you don’t want to hear that…
I’ll definitely report back on the doctor front, but that will take a while.
In other news, I just got laid off from work. It’s satisfying to know I wasn’t overreacting to things I suppose. Just trading one set of stress for another, although I am oddly not too worried and also feeling excited about the possibilities. Talk to me in a few weeks when the grind of looking for a job has set in and I might not be so ok with things.
Thanks all. I’m going to attempt to just take the weekend and decompress before I dive into things Monday.
Well, congrats on not overreacting, but sympathies on the job loss. I’ve always found leaving jobs to be such a mixed emotion - I’m usually glad to go, but then what do I do now?
Taking a weekend sounds like a good idea.
Do you snore? It sounds like you are a bit sleep deprived and may have sleep apnea.
That’s my vote.
Peri menopause, is what my money is on, your symptoms are text book classic.