Help me figure out what is going on

Let me lay out the facts:

For the last 6 months or so, I’ve felt like things are messed up. Physically, I’m not feeling great - I’m not sick per se, but I’ve had insomnia, a little weight gain, and some pretty nasty mood swings, all things that are recent developments (I’m a 41 year old female).

Whatever is going on also has a mental aspect: I’ve been forgetting things like I never have before, and unfortunately, I’ve also been messing up at work. It’s very busy, more busy than normal, but still at a level that I should be able to handle. I’ve been scolded but not yet given any kind of official warning, and of course I want very much to make things right again.

This is just so not like me and I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore, and I have no idea what’s going on or how to rectify it. I’ve been trying different things, like organizational tricks, but yesterday I made yet ANOTHER mistake at work… so my efforts are not enough and I need to step it up because this needs to stop. I’m getting to that point where I feel like things are spiraling out of my control and the harder I try and fix it the more I mess up, which causes more anxiety, so on and so on.

I have a doctor’s appointment coming up so I’ll be discussing all of this, in case there is some medical reason behind it. I’d love to hear if this sort of thing has happened to other people, what it turned out to be for them, and what worked for them to fix it.


I was just reading up on that. I had no idea about the mental aspects of menopause, so it could be I suppose. Unfortunately my doctor cannot see me until mid March (insurance rules since this is not urgent) so I have some time until I get any kind of medical confirmation on things.

Mid March? I’d tell your doctor’s office it is an emergency; it sounds like you think your job could be in jeopardy.

When I had some of those things going on, it turned out to be iron deficiency anemia. I’m sure that will be one of the things your doctor will check on. And as tdn suggested, menopause? A bit early, maybe, but not out of range.

Would it help at work to mention that you have this appointment scheduled, to find out if the problem is physical? They might not be quite so quick to decide it’s just incompetence or something like that, if they know it’s not just you forgetting things at work. You know them better than I do, of course.

Any random stomach problems? Rash? Definitely have them check for a physical thing. These are also all symptoms of Celiac disease. I had all those issues plus stomach problems, GERD, and a few others before I went gluten-free.
My short-term memory was just shot before It’s gotten better but it was bad for a while.
It could be all sorts of things though.


These all popped into my head as possible culprits. Hypothyroid is super common for women and can easily cause depression plus the rest of your symptoms. If you get tested for thyroid issues and show up as “low normal” on the test, ask your doctor if you might benefit from being treated for low thyroid levels anyway. Some people seem to benefit even when they fall into the “normal” range.

Good luck with everything.

Just for the record, menopause is when you’ve gone a year without a period. Peri-menopause is that wonderful time when you go through all the horrible symptoms that people associate with menopause and that can last for several years. Insomnia can be associated with peri-menopause and lack of restful sleep can lead to other symptoms such as you described.

Definitely sounds like menopause to me. And I began having these symptoms long before my periods stopped. Also, when you start worrying about making mistakes then you make more so it’s sort of a self fulfilling prophesy. In my case when I finally realized it was related to menopause things got a lot better because I could blame it on hormones instead of stupidity or whatever. Good luck.

My guesses are:

  1. Vitamin D deficiency

  2. sleep apnea

  3. HiOpalitis
    Srsly. Get your D levels checked. If you snore, you may need a sleep study.


Those are some of the possible symptoms? :eek: I was recently diagnosed as being vitamin D deficient – the “acceptable” range is between 32-100 ng/mL, and I’m at 4.1 – but I haven’t had any symptoms (it was discovered in the course of a routine physical). I’m feeling pretty lucky!

Thanks to everyone for the food for thought. I’ve got a blood draw set up and my annual visit to the gyn is also on tap, but I like to know all of the possibilities.

If anyone else out there has ideas, or even tips on how to deal with the situation, please chime in.

The weight gain and the crappy short-term emmory cold be the result of the insomnia. Why are you awake during your sleep times?

Before I got on D my depression was worse (it’s normally mild), I had a LOT more fatigue and I was way more scatterbrained. I have ADHD anyway so scatterbrained comes with the territory - however since starting D I’ve noticed quite a bit of difference.

I’m putting all my money on sleep apnea.

I’m 51 and still get periods regularly. I have many of the symptoms you describe. I feel that the true cause of all these symptoms, in myself, is BURNOUT plain and simple. Of course, menopause is a fact of life.

Hang in there.

My first thought was peri-menopause, too. I’m 44 and I could have written the OP - my memory seems to be completely gone and I have to write EVERYTHING down or it just disappears out of my head. I’m making mistakes at work that I would have never made before, too - just forgetting things, forgetting to do things, just not acting like myself. My mood swings are getting legendary - I’m thinking about seeing a doctor for them before I hurt someone - seriously.

Wanted to pop in and answer this: it’s so random it’s hard to even say. One night I won’t be able to fall asleep, another night I’ll fall asleep ok but be woken up numerous times during the night because I’m too hot, or too cold, or my cat jumped on the bed, or for no apparent reason at all.

I’m in good health and on no medications, so I’m considering taking a melatonin supplement. From what I’ve been able to gather I don’t think it can hurt, considering that I’m otherwise healthy… has anyone here had luck with that?

Oh, one other thing I forgot - I try to eat a pretty balanced diet and I take a daily multivitamin so although anything is possible and everything will be checked, I think a vitamin deficiency is unlikely. I’ve been wrong before though!

This site talks about soy and menopause - you might consider adding more soy to your diet as you approach menopause. The jury is definitely still out on the efficacy of soy on peri-menopausal symptoms, but a glass or two of soymilk a day is not likely to hurt, and might possibly help if what you’re experiencing is hormonal.