I am British and I live in the US and when people realize that I am British (usually by overhearing something I say, or someone else mentions it) they respond with “Say something so I can here your accent.”
At that point my brain refuses to work and I usually reply with a mumbled “something” or “what do you want me to say?”
What I need from the teeming millions is a British phrase, poem, quote from Shakespeare, or something along those lines to display my accent and wow all who hear it. Something I can rehearse but make it seem like an off-the-cuff remark or ad-lib [sub]yeah, I know that’s cheating, tell that to my traitorous brain[/sub]
If it makes any difference I have a northern, Yorkshire accent (doesn’t seem to make a difference to the people who want to hear me speak).
I think a line that includes a reference to the Queen, knickers, and bangers and mash would do. Maybe follow up with an “I Say!” or a “Wot?”
I like the scene in Love, Actually when Colin goes to Wisconsin and the girls are asking him to pronounce words, after which they all giggle and sigh. Until they get to “table” and it sounds just the same–big disappointment all around
When I was in college, I memorized part of Richard’s soliloquy from Shakespeare’s “Richard II,” Act 3, Scene 2; it’s not something people have heard before, sounds Shakespearean (because it is) and, if recited with any drama at all, is a fantastic pick-up line. The first four lines will probably get you a second look from an impressionable young hottie; recite about half of it, then trail off as if you’ve forgotten the rest, and you’ll have a phone number within minutes. Do the whole sixteen lines, muttering the last few words into your beer as you quaff, and you’ll probably get laid right then and there.
For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of kings;
How some have been deposed; some slain in war,
Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed;
Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d;
All murder’d: for within the hollow crown
That rounds the mortal temples of a king
Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits,
Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp,
Allowing him a breath, a little scene,
To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks,
Infusing him with self and vain conceit,
As if this flesh which walls about our life,
Were brass impregnable, and humour’d thus
Comes at the last and with a little pin
Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king!
A pirate walks into a bar with a large steering wheel coming out of his pants. The bartender says “excuse me, mister pirate. Do you realize there’s a large steering wheel coming from your pants?”
The pirate says “Arrr, it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
While you’re saying the punchline, you should “steer” an imaginary wheel coming from your pants, just to make sure they get it.
“Now this imposin’ edifice what first meets the eye, is the 'ome of Admiral Boom, late of His Majesty’s Navy. Likes his house ship-shape he does. Shipe-shape and Bristol fashion at all times!”
Do you know any other languages? Replying in, say, Hungarian would be good for a laugh. They’d still get to hear your accent. If the person who asks you is of the right age group, anything from Captain Picard would make you a hero. “The line must be drawn here!” is a good one.
Im from Yorkshire myself.
