Thread over, this would be a riot every time.
“When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness…”
Ask how the Colonists are getting along.
“Yabba Dabba Doo.”
‘Ooh-ee-ooh-ah-ah, ting tang walla-walla bing-bang.’
Or:
Ich wieß nicht, was soll es bedeuten,
daß ich so traurig bin,
ein Märchen aus uralten Zeiten,
das kommt mir nicht aus dem Sinn.
Die Luft ist Kühl und es dunkelt,
und ruhig fließt der Rhein,
der Gipfel des Berges funkelt
im Abendsonnenschein.
I like a lot of these replies.
I should probably make it clear that I am not trying to score as I am happily married. Also, my accent is not a very broad Yorkshire accent so something which is very Yorkshire probably wouldn’t work. Although, who would know but me.
It just occurred to me that I should try to find a phrase involving words like funny, monkey, garage, tomato and anything else which I pronounce differently.
But it might be funny if you mimicked Inspector Clouseau.
Anaamika, I think you lead one of the most interesting lives of anyone in SDMB. 
Honest.
“I say, something funny happened the other day. I heard a noise in the garage and went to investigate, and suddenly out of nowhere a monkey appeared and began chucking tomatoes at me! So of course I had to go inside and bathe, which threw my schedule off for the whole day…”
There you go. I threw “schedule” in because the way y’all pronounce it amuses me.
And add me to the swooners who go all weak-kneed at a British accent. Alan Rickman wouldn’t be nearly as sexy if he’d been born and raised in Des Moines.
If the monkey were made of aluminium (sic) and worked in a laboratory, you’d be set.
You could give them a bit of Rowley Birkin QC (?) from The Fast Show. Always “ver’, ver’ drunk”.
Try one of these from James Herriott, the vet/writer from the North York Moors:
I got out and from where I stood, high at the head, I could see all of the strangely formed cleft in the hills, its steep sides grooved and furrowed by countless streams feeding the boisterous Halden Beck which tumbled over its rocky bed far below. Down there, were trees and some cultivated fields, but immediately behind me the wild country came crowding in on the bowl where the farmhouse lay. Halsten Pike, Alstang, Birnside—the huge fells with their barbarous names were very near.
or
*I am never at my best in the early morning, especially a cold morning in the Yorkshire spring with a piercing March wind sweeping down from the fells, finding its way inside my clothing, nipping at my nose and ears. *
or even
*
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.*
Or “Coom quick Mr Awkwright, thas trouble at t’mill, bah gum”