This was something I read in a magazine more than 10 years ago, maybe more than 15 years ago. It was a short piece, less than one page. I can’t remember the magazine. It was an issue with a number a short essays by celebrities, possibly around a unifying theme like “what I’ve learned”
It was about lessons of therapy. The first lesson was something like learning to be in touch with her feelings, followed by learning to express her feelings, followed by learning that having a feeling doesn’t mean always having to express it, followed by the realization that it isn’t necessarily a good thing to always be in touch with your feelings (especially when your movie flops).
It wasn’t in either of her two recent essay collections (I Feel Bad About My Neck and I Remember Nothing) and since her earlier collections were 1978 and earlier according to wikipedia, I don’t think it will be in those.
Sounds like the piece in PREMIERE magazine, back in '96, asking women what they’d learned that had served them well in Hollywood; Ephron’s answer was that getting in touch with your feelings and expressing 'em is the first thing you learn in group therapy – and, if you’re lucky, the last thing you learn in group is that you’re not obligated to do so. (Adding, of course, that you could go crazy in the movie business if you react to every little thing.)