Help Me Geek Up Insult Jokes

So me and my wife are watching a TV show on MTV called “Yo Momma” which is a bunch of people trading insult jokes "Yo momma is so fat…, yo head is so big…, etc.) So I said Icould go on that show, I would be like, “Yo hard drive is so slow…” and then I fizzled out. So I tried again, "Your WoW character is so weak that he … "and again, nothing.

So help me out SDMB, I want to hear some geeked out insult jokes.

The canonical one is “You’re so lame even Tom won’t be your friend.” I’ve seen this one in various places, including last year’s roast of William Shatner on Comedy Central.

My own contribution, “Yo momma so fat she never gets her password right on the first try.”


When it comes to computers you have to go a long way to beat some of Weird Al’s

Yo momma so fat, her Schwarzschild radius is a meter. (For non-astronomers: the Schwarzschild radius is the size that a black hole of a particular mass would be. It’s proportional to mass, and the Earth’s Schwarzschild radius is about 9 millimeters)

Yo momma’s so fat all her clocks run slow!

Yo momma’s so ugly she drove Ambassador Kollos insane!

Yo mama is so ugly, she turned her computer’s hard drive into a floppy.

Whoah! Geeking, indeed! :smiley:

Yo mamma’s so fat everything she sees is blue-shifted!

Yo mamma’s so fat the only thing she can wear is a red-shift!

Yo mamma’s so fat that she fogs film negatives!

Yo mamma is so frigid, she washes with Bose-einstein condensate!

Yo mama is so fat she absorbs neutrinos.

(as an added bonus this one works in Spanish too: Tu madre es tan gorda que absorbe neutrinos)

Yeah, but all hydrogenous material absorbs and moderates neutrons. Now, if she were so fat that she stopped neutrinos… :eek:


Ah, hell - I misread the insult. :o

Yo mamma is so ugly, she blue-screens image-recognition programs.

Yo mama is so FAT, she uses a resource fork! Ohhhhhhhh, snap!


Yo mama’s so fat, her shadow’s got a visible penumbra!

Yo mama’s so ugly, The Elephant Man wants her skull!

Yo mama’s so fat, Luke tried to shoot photon torpedoes down her thermal exhaust hole!

Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought Elvis was gonna be reborn in The Return of the King!

Yo mama’s so fat, scientists visited the crack 'o her ass only once, in the 1960’s, for about 20 minutes!

I’ll be here all week, unless your mama comes lookin’ for me! :smiley: