At jury selection, just cry throughout, and answer every question with “What?”
Wait a sec. Did we have one of these threads a while back from a student and the responses skewered him for wanting to get out of jury duty? Has the collective opinion now changed here, or just because Guinastasia is cute she gets a pass?
Yes. That’s the way the world works. Maybe she should try that. “Hi! I’m cute. Can I get out of this?”
Just out of curiosity, what makes you think that the other people that do show up for jury duty aren’t shittier than you? You should try to curb that ‘shittier than thou’ attitude of yours missy.
The following phrase may be useful, “I will trust my cat’s judgement on the guilt or innocence of the defendant.”
In D.C. if being on a jury is really a hardship financially, they’ll give you a pass, though you still have to show up for the one day. If you honestly can’t afford to do it, you don’t have to. Don’t know how it works in Pittsburgh.
Don’t do what a former colleague did: He’s kind of a smartass, and they asked him “is there any reason you can’t server jury duty?” and he replied, “nope, I can tell a guilty man just by lookin’ at him!” He got fined for this remark.
ETA: He did get out of jury duty, though.
I agree, be honest, but you don’t even have to be THAT honest. When my wife went to jury duty, her group of 25 or so potential jurors was told to “Raise your hand if you have strong feelings about the US Constitution.” The number of people who raised their hand was… wait for it… ONE! My wife! And she’s no activist.
Of course, they dismissed her.
No, I am not joking. Although part of the reason she was dismissed may have had something to do with the fact that she stated that she might have a hard time convicting someone of a truly victimless crime, like -gasp- smoking a joint.
Joe
PS - my automatic Firefox spellcheck doesn’t recognize “victimless.”
J
Right. Be honest. And "it’s your duty dammit!"
Do not try anything cute like:
“Show up dressed as a Jedi. Explain that you dress as a Jedi for all formal occasions.”
“The trick is to say that you’re prejudiced against all races.”
“I will trust my cat’s judgement on the guilt or innocence of the defendant.”
Unless you like pissing off the judge. He has heard them all.
It is your duty, anyway. So, be honest like Giraffe said, and if you get picked do the best you can.
Wait, what? How do you get fined for being a smartass or stupid? How can they tell the difference? Why don’t they just dismiss you and be done with it?
It’s been years and the guy involved is dead, but as I recall it was a contempt of court charge. He was an amazing and brazen smartass. I’m sure when he said it, he had a big grin on his face just daring the judge to smack him with a fine.
Look, I’m not saying, “Oooh, I like that guy-I’m gonna vote for him!” Just saying if I find say, the prosecuting attourney a total moron, even if I feel that the defendent is guilty, it MAY influence me. Not on purpose, just that it may color my decision.
Or, like I said-if I feel the accused is a corrupt bastard, or whatever, I probably won’t be swayed by the facts. (Because I WANT someone like Wecht or whoever to rot in prison, or be left completely broke).
And I’m far too opinionated for my own good. If it’s a death penalty case, for example, I don’t think I could do it.
But the main reason is, the loss of income. I cannot afford that. If anyone wants to pay my hospital bills from back in February, or help me purchase my meds, then go for it.
(I do think it might be interesting to serve, though. Just something I am unable to do at this time.)
None of us can.
That’s why it’s called “civic duty”, not “civic pleasure”. It’s not a “civic privilege” like voting. It’s a duty, like paying your taxes.
You live in, and benefit from a system where the accused have a RIGHT to a trial by jury of their peers. It’s one of the fucking foundations of our government, and people who look for ways to shirk it are actively undermining that system.
None of use make perfect jurors. We’re all swayed by how much we like the prosecutors fancy suit, and the defenders smarmy look.
And, if you want to be dressed down in front of a room full of 100 of your fellow citizens by a judge who has heard every single line in the book to get out of service, by all means try to tell him you’re racist, or “too opinionated”.
Say that you are already willing to vote “guilty” because the defendant plainly looks “as guilty as sin.” Say this while pointing at either one of the attornies or the judge.
Well, you certainly sound unqualified to me. Just tell them how you really feel.
And, now I know not to pay attention to anything you say in a debate.
Bullshit. You’re not a crank who wants to ruin the trial, so you’re going to do what everyone else does, their best. And that’s all the court wants from you. You’ll listen to the evidence, and try to base your decision on that.
Not Bullshit. This is what you tell them.
If you can afford to take the time off, the vast majority of people who serve on juries consider it a positive experience in their lives. Even if it gets settled before your verdict, you get the feeling you’re part of what makes the country work, it’s a nice feeling.
Trunk, many salaried employees (such as myself) get paid in full from the company during that time off, at least if it’s a modest amount of time.
Join the closest volunteer fire department or rescue squad.
IMHO because judges are pompous assholes who are full of themselves.
Wouldn’t hurt to take a summary of your bills and income with you, and explain about your stay in hospital and the effect it would have on finances. And your last sentence sounds more reasonable to me than “I’d make a terrible juror.”
[Gaudere]
I don’t think you should sic Guin’s spelling of “attorney” as long as you’re spelling “counsel” as “council”, dude.
[/Gaudere]