First, I don’t want to hear about bullshit about “civic duty” and the like. I KNOW I’d make a really shitty juror-I’m far too opinionated, and more likely to make my decision based on how I feel about the two attourneys, etc.
I also cannot afford to lose work while serving.
Any idea of what to say?
Can you request an automatic deferral once? My husband did that and it was years before they got around to him again.
Does your summons allow for a hardship exemption? If not, try for a deferral. Like **cher3 ** said, it can take years before they get back to you. If you do get called, you’ll have to go in and miss a day (or more) of work, and you may never even make it into the court room. It’s better to try for an exemption or deferral if you can’t afford the time off to serve.
When council asks you questions, just be honest. Tell them:
“I think equating ‘jury duty’ with ‘civic duty’ is a bunch of bullshit.”
“I know I’d make a really shitty juror.”
“I’m far too opinionated, and more likely to make my decision based on how I feel about the two attourneys (sic).”
I’m confident such replies will get you excused. At least we can only hope so.
IMO, a person with your attitude is not worthy to sit on a jury; hence you shouldn’t be on one. So I am all in favor of you getting out of it using any means necessary.
“I have an advanced degree in [any social science]” usually works. 
But really, just say what you said in the OP:
“I’m not interested in evidence; I plan to make my decision based on how I feel about the two attorneys.” (the judge will ask, “can’t you look objectively at the evidence?” you say “no.”)
Back when I had a job that did not pay for jury service I would get called, and I would return the card with the notation that my company did not pay for jury service, and I was the sole support of my family.
I was always excused.
If you have to show up, consider crocheting a hangman’s noose while the attorneys and Judge question you.
Just be honest. If you’d actually make a shittier juror than the other people in your pool, it’ll come out in the questioning. If the trial is more than a couple of days, tell the judge you can’t afford to miss work and ask to be excused. Trying to lie your way out is a bad idea.
Note that there’s no guarantee you’ll be excused due to either of these – if everyone was excused from jury duty who didn’t want to do it or who would lose money from the lost time, we wouldn’t have enough jurors for a day’s worth of trials.
If you really want to be deferred, see if your paperwork will allow you to request it before the day you’re scheduled to call in. The one time I did that, there was a deadline for making the request by mail. If you don’t request it ahead of time, you may be obliged to come in for at least one day to be processed.
Or you could take your chances. I’ve been put on notice four times and never had to go in once. I checked in daily, by phone or internet, and my group just never came up. I work for government, so I’ll be paid anyway if I go.
God, I wish I’d thought of that. "Are you serious? That idiot (one of the attorneys) is wearing cowboy boots.
FWIW, I just did my Jury Duty last month. I spent two days sitting on a very straighforward civil trial. It was frustrating in some ways, but not the brain and soul destroying experience you seem to be dreading.
The odds of actually having to serve, even if you get called in, are pretty low. The trial I was involved in had a jury pool of about 20 people. They called and questioned 8 of us, and then let one of that eight go, to empanel six jurors and an alternate. Most people called for that draft were in and out within two hours.
The people running the Jury pool made it clear that the vast majority of juries that get empaneled only serve for a day or two.
As for getting out? Mention of financial hardship was about the only thing that seemed to be a potential “out” here. NYS recently revamped its jury system so that automatic exemptions are gone. (Deferments are still easily had, and while automatic exemptions are officially gone, when I asked what they did for active duty military, they did say they were removed from the pool with no problems.)
I was treated like an idiot by the judge who treated it like a damn pep rally, and like shit by the bailiff.
Good grief, carnivorousplant! I’m really sorry to hear that.
The frustrating part was listening to the attorneys asking the same question, slightly reworded, over and over and over and over and over and over again of each witness. The judge and baliff we had were very conscientious towards us.
I suspect I’m being whoosed.
“I can’t hear you!”
“Yes Sir, your Honor!”
crap.
A woman and her daughter were suing a woman they were in an automobile accident with. The cars knocked each other’s side mirrors off.
They thought they were hurt, went to the emergency room and ran up a huge bill w/o insurance. My Mother might have done something like that. Their recourse was to hire an attorney who helped them lie.
They lost, but the defendant was out the attorney fees.
I think the money spent paying jurors and court folks could have been better spent paying the hospital bill, but hey.
A tried and true method=
Show up dressed as a Jedi. Explain that you dress as a Jedi for all formal occasions.
Or
You know all those coping mechanisms you have for your various problems? Shut them down. Work to make things worse. The person who is a pile of tics, mumbling to themselves and on the verge of an anxiety attack is unlikely to be picked.
Nope, no whoosh, though I’ve seen judges in the past whom I could believe would react that way. My experience was nothing like that. If someone couldn’t hear an answer from the jury box, there was a simple, “Please repeat that,” followed by sir or ma’am. The judge, attorneys, and baliff were all polite, and conscientious.
My case was some minor MVA shit that none of us jurors thought should have gone to trial. We were also frustrated that the testimony went on all the first day, and then we were given a bare half hour, to hour, of testimony on the second day.
It was interesting to see that of my fellow jurors we went into the jury room with different ideas for what an equitable verdict would be.
Our complaints were for the times we had to be taken out of the court room while the attorneys and the judge argued law, and for the way that the attorneys would, by repeating questions, keep going over the same ground time and time again. Which really isn’t something I could see any other way to handle.
I dunno…
I don’t know if this will make you feel any better but the defendant probably wasn’t out the attorney’s fees. This is the kind of thing that insurance covers and you better believe that the insurance company will have attorneys either on staff or on retainer to deal with this kind of thing.
I also got called just last month. An exemption was granted in that my company does not pay for time off, and I"m the sole support of my family. Both are true.
I would have actually rather enjoyed doing my civic duty. If my company had paid for it, I was there.
Well, I don’t PLAN on it. I just know it’s likely. Or say there’s a local politician being indicted. Like the former Allegheny County coroner, Cyril Wecht. I LOATHE this man. There is no way in the world I could be impartial.
And I’m not talking about it being torturing and “soul destroying”. Just inconvenient and something I cannot afford at this time to do. I cannot miss that much work. I have too damned many bills at this time, and I’m paying out of pocket for my seizure meds, which are damned expensive.
The trick is to say that you’re prejudiced against all races.